


You want us to sign the WHAT?

by oceankat8



Series: Asgardian Adventures [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Civil War, Fluff, Heimdal acts as surragate father figure because honestly fuck odin, Humor, I’m being honest I didn’t plan any of this it’s just kinda happening to me, M/M, Ross is the bad guy, ragnarok happened and everyone got back to earth safely, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-05-15 08:58:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 46,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14787441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceankat8/pseuds/oceankat8
Summary: What if Civil War happened about a year after Ragnarok?  What if the Revengers had finally made their way home, only to find out that Earth may not be where they belong after all? What if some dumbass named Ross tells Thor to sign the accords and actually expects him to just.. like.. do that? Well, let's find out shall we?





	1. Are you sure about this?

 

Bruce was lying in the quarters given to him and Hulk on the Asgardian ship. He felt almost dwarfed by the bed, and, frankly, the rest of the room around him. It was overly spacious, of course, they had to be since the Hulk quite liked his space. But that was mostly due to him being a giant green rage monster.

Bruce shook his head at that thought. Hulk was no more a rage monster than he was… He just happened to be more physically expressive than Bruce was ever comfortable being. It was never Hulk’s fault that his main motivator until now has been anger. It was how they had survived until this point. Him and Hulk may not get along, and either personality may prefer being the one in control at any given moment, but they were fiercely protective of each other.

That was one of the things he never expected anyone to understand. Natasha certainly hadn’t, but that wasn’t really her fault. That’s why Thor finding them on Sakaar was so surprising, more so to Bruce since he hadn’t even been aware he was   _on Sakaar_ until Thor accidently brought him back. But yet, for some reason, Thor understood. He _got it_.

And Thor, well Thor very easily could be one of the few people that’s ever cared about them both. Bruce smiled, still laying in the middle of the massive bed, as he thought about the moments him and Thor have shared over the course of the trip through space. The soft spoken words in the middle of the night as the other refugees slept, the fast paced back and forth when talking about the different and complex theories that Bruce could never discuss with anyone that hadn’t had at least as many PhDs as himself, and even the more comfortable moments when either man could fit in a quip or some snark. Bruce had never felt more comfortable than on this ship, with Thor, and he was sure that was one thing both him and Hulk could agree on. Since the Hulk no doubt had his own Thor centric memories that he held close to his heart, like the daily sparing practice the two of them had scheduled, and the many battles the two had fought side by side this past year. 

There was a knock at the door.

“Hey, Little Guy,” Val’s voice came through, “it’s show time, get pretty.”

Bruce was on his feet in an instant, er well, he tried to be. Rather, he was crawling/scooting his way to the edge of the bed, getting almost swallowed in the sheer excessive amount of fabric as he attempted to get on solid ground, before face-planting in the most majestic of ways, tangled in sheets and wearing nothing but boxers.

Of course, this wouldn’t have been nearly so mortifying if Thor, the literal demi-god he’s been crushing on for a year and the one he had just spent the past hour daydreaming about, hadn’t burst in like an excited puppy at that exact moment.

“Banner! Come quickly, we’ve neared Midgard!” Thor said, practically vibrating with energy as he stood there, in the open doorway. Bruce awkwardly picked himself up, suddenly thankful for the puddle of sheets around him he could use to cover himself.

“Let’s give him a minute before you embarrass him too much, your majesty” Val said, before lifting her flask to her lips and walzing away, dragging Thor behind her.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” Bruce called out as the door slid shut once more.

Bruce let himself relax as he got ready, _They were almost home._ But then, another thought entered his mind, a thought that had been plaguing him since Thor told him they’d be going back to Earth, and traipsed it's way through every insecurity Bruce and Hulk had ever had. _Won’t everything be different now?_

 

Loki was decidedly _not_ hiding. If he, perhaps, did not want to be in the presence of his large, overly eager, brother at this exact moment, that was his business and no one else’s. Loki overheard Thor and Valkyrie talking as they got closer to his hiding spot- er _vantage point_ , before teleporting himself elsewhere. He didn’t want to explain to Thor why he so clearly lacked his brother’s enthusiasm for going to Midgard. Though the answer seems obvious, Thor did always have a thick head.

“Your highness,” tch, there was someone here. Loki turned around and grimaced, he’d gotten caught sneaking around by the one person that hated it most. “Care to tell me what has you so anxious?” Heimdall asked.

“Nothing, I’m simply practicing my magic. It’s a skill where constant upkeep is required.” Loki lied.

“I see. So you are testing yourself to see exactly how long you can avoid your brother” Heimdal said, cutting through Loki’s lie easily.

“Of course _you_ would keep track. I can’t do anything without you spying on me”

“If I remember correctly, you’ve done countless things outside my range of sight before”

Loki smiled, those were some of his better moments. Way back, when mischief was mischief. Before Thanos…

His smile faded. Heimdal took notice.

“You worry you will suffer punishment for your transgressions against Midgard” Heimdal said, in that majestic, all-knowing voice of his, “you worry you will deserve whatever punishment they see fit to bestow upon you”

“I do not-”

“And you worry Thor will agree”

“Preposterous” Loki scoffed, he didn’t have to deal with this.

“Or do you worry more that he won’t?” Loki stiffened at this, his eyes gone wide, “You worry that he would choose you over Midgard, that the happiness he has found there will cease to be because of you. Am I close?”

Loki bit his tongue and whispered through clenched teeth, “not. Even. in. the. Vicinity. of. close”

Heimdall looked away, still majestic and endlessly wise, “you need not fear, my prince. When you think there are two options only, you ignore the possibility of the unexpected.”

“Well, never let it be said that Loki of Asgard doesn’t thrive on the unexpected”

Heimdal smiled, warm, almost fatherly, “That you do”

Loki disappeared again, it was getting boring avoiding Thor.

 

Bruce was making his way to the bridge of the ship when Loki appeared out of nowhere,

“SHI- FU- Loki??! What the _Hell_ dude?”

“Ah, Banner. You heard the news I assume?”

“The news? You mean that we made it back to Earth? Or did you get different news from me. Like, newer news.”

“No. That’s the correct news”

“then , yes. I got that news and I’m headed to the bridge right now”

“Great,” Loki smiled, “I’ll head there with you then. Shall we?”

“Uh sure, yeah. Can’t keep the king waiting, I guess” Bruce joked as Loki rolled his eyes. They walked in a slightly uncomfortable silence after that, mostly on Bruce’s part. Loki seemed fine. But it’s not like Bruce was the grandmaster of figuring out Loki’s emotions. Speaking of which, whatever happened to that guy? Weren’t he and Loki -

“Out with it. What is it that has you staring at me every three seconds, I may be attractive but as far as I’m aware you’re more into broader blonds” Loki said, interrupting Bruce’s thoughts and causing him to fluster and quickly defend himself.

“Weren’t you sleeping with the Grandmaster?” Shit, wrong thing to say, it was just on his mind, and he really _was_ curious, Hulk was his favored champion and even _he_ got locked in a room all day. He slowly looked back up at Loki, only to see him almost turning blue with blush.

“What is with _everyone_ trying to get into my personal life today!?” he hissed before speeding up ahead of him.

Huh. Guess they were.

“Wait, does that mean he’s your sugar daddy or something?” Bruce asked, jogging slightly to catch up. It wouldn’t be fair if Loki was the only one that got to mess with people on this ship.

Loki’s neck turned a deeper shade of blue, “And what? I’m supposed to believe your intentions toward my brother are so _pure_ ” _holy shit_ , Bruce had never seen the man so defensive. He usually just joked and quiped with the rest of them when it came to past deeds like murder and attempted fratricide. This was a whole new avenue.

So naturally, Bruce spent the rest of their shared walk doing what he could to get Loki more flustered while ignoring or brushing off whatever pointed and malicious remark Loki sent back.

Bruce was just finishing off a cheap remark about being a trophy twink when they entered the bridge and suddenly all Bruce knew was the overly strong embrace of an excited Asgardian King.

“Banner!” Thor’s voice boomed around him, “quick! Come see! This is the view of your planet from space!! Is it not beautiful?”

Thor relaxed his embrace slightly, and Bruce was able to spy a confident smirk on Loki’s face. His lips moved and Bruce could almost swear he was saying something like _who’s the trophy twink now?_ Bastard

Bruce was dragged to the large window at the front of the ship where they usually saw the vast expanse of space sprawled out for an eternity before them. Except now, it wasn’t space. It was Earth, and the sight of the familiar blue planet brought tears to his eyes.

“We made it”

Thor’s hand rested, warm and strong on his shoulder, “We certainly did”

 


	2. Honey we're Hoooooommmmmeeeeeee!!!!

Thor was practically bouncing, he had finally led his people to Midgard, a place he’d thought of as a second home since being banished there by his father that first time. Not that he was banished again after that, unless Hela sending him to Sakaar counted? But that wasn't Midgard though. And! It was Banner’s first home! So surely his close friend would be thrilled to return, they’d be able to see their other Midgardian friends and the rest of the Avengers again! 

Thor looked over at Banner, he was a shorter and thinner man, that Thor found very attractive. Very attractive. The man's intelligence alone caused warmth to creep up Thor's neck and the passion he displayed when speaking of his interests made his eyes sparkle and shine in ways that left Thor swooning. Thor almost spent a moment just admiring the light of the planet's sun, playing on Banner’s curls and the curve of his jaw. But his thoughts were interrupted by a static-like sound and the loud and grating noise of an American operator.

Thor looked at Loki, he seemed to have a device in his hand from where the sound was generated.

“What?” Loki said defensively, “We need to contact them don’t we? Or would you rather show up unannounced and get shot down by your Iron friend’s satellites?”

Bruce took this moment to cut in, “He’s right. We uh, need to make initial contact? Probably”

Thor smiled “That’s fine! Earth loves me!” He gestured vaguely at Loki “Give me that”

Loki rolled his eyes and handed it over.

“Hello? This is the U.S. Airforce, you were caught as an incoming vessel by our satellites. Identify yourselves immediately”

“Tis I, Thor. King of Asgard, seeking refuge and asylum for my people on Earth.”

“Thor? Wait. Like, the Avenger? _That_ Thor?”

He chuckled “Yes. That Thor”

Thor could hear, through the static of the device, “Holy shit guys it’s Thor! _The_ Thor!!! Wait, let me ask if I can get an autograph!!! What do you mean that’s stupid? Oh, right.”

He winked at Banner, who rolled his eyes and made a _keep talking_ gesture with his hands.

“Yes, yes I am quite awesome, can I land my ship now? We’ve been traveling for sometime and I know my people would love fresh air sooner, rather than, well, later”

“Right of course Mr. Thor, uh your highness?” The operator stumbled on his words, “You can land immediately, granted you land at the Avenger’s compound. We have been instructed to send you coordinates”

Thor smiled, “send away!”

Loki’s palm hit his face.

“Right, do you have anything to receive the coordinates? Like a GPS?”

“No? Why would I need-”

Loki took the device from him immediately, “Yes we do, ignore him. He’s an idiot”

Thor moved to take the device back, “I am not an idiot, you’re an idiot!!”

“Send it to this address, are you ready?”

The operator seemed confused from the other side “wait who is this? Are you also an asgardian?”

Loki paused, his hand in Thor’s face to keep him from the device. He took a moment to ponder his answer.

“Er, yes. This is another asgardian. You’ve probably never heard of me. At all. Did you send the coordinates?”

“Yes sir. Uhh, welcome to Earth.” The operator sounded as if he was turning away from his microphone “ _This is so exciting!!_ ”

“Loki! Don’t hang u-”

“Great” Loki hung up. His brother swatting away his hand and moving to sulk over by his boy-crush.

 

Thor pouted. “Well _now_ what do we do?”

Loki turned to his brother, “we _land_. Dumbass”

Heimdal held up a hand to stop Thor’s next retort. “Perhaps, my King, you should go ahead with Banner? I can send you both to Stark with the rainbow bridge.”

“Yes! Perfect Heimdall” Thor brightened again, once more pulling Banner towards him.

Bruce grabbed his arm, “wait, maybe we should-”

“Loki, you stay with Heimdal and lead our people to Stark’s fortress”

“Guys, this isn’t-”

“Yes, of course brother. Tony Stark and your other _Avenger_ friends will be thrilled to see me I’m sure” Loki said, rolling his eyes and shifting uncomfortably on his feet.

Bruce perked up at that, “Good point! What if-”

“Nonsense Brother,” Thor waved his arm loosely at Heimdall. “Just let Heimdal do the talking”

Loki scoffed. Heimdal readied his sword, the jump would be short, so it should be in his power to simply send the two of them ahead. He had a feeling they would need the extra time.

So, before Banner could vocalize his objections properly, Heimdall opened the rainbow bridge and sent them straight to Stark.

 

Tony Stark was out for a jog, alone. Frustrated about the terms of the deal, more frustrated that Cap wouldn’t sign it, _even more frustrated at the effect this entire damn thing has been having on the team._

He sighed. Getting frustrated wasn’t going to help.

He turned the corner at the park as a bolt of rainbow colored lightning struck the ground before him. It scorched the grass around it and disappeared as quickly as it left, leaving only two figures behind.

Two very _familiar_ figures.

“Where the _Hell_ have you two been?”

Bruce, at least, had the good sense to look sheepish. Thor on the other hand, was as bright and sunny as he always seemed to be.

“Uh, hi. Tony. it’s nice to see you” Bruce said, almost hiding behind Thor’s massive biceps.

“Stark! Hello! It’s good of you to allow my people asylum at your… what was it?” He turned to Bruce.

“His compound”

“Yes! Your compound.”

Tony’s brain did a reboot. “Wait. wait a second. Your people?”

“Yes” Thor nodded, the smile never leaving his face.

“All of them? Like all of Asgard?” Tony asked again, his voice reaching a higher pitch the more he rephrased the question.

Bruce tugged at his sleeves, his body folding in on itself.

“Yes, of course.”

Tony smiled, a fake, press smile that he smiled when he simply didn’t know what was going on but he’d be damned if he’d let anyone know that. He made a mental note to fire whoever just let an alien ship full of Asgardians just land at his compound without at least _calling_ him first. 

“Great. Hope they settle in nicely. It’s not like we don’t have plenty of space… I hope.” Tony turned to Bruce, “also, I didn’t realize you were hanging with Thor this whole time? Was the breakup with Nat really that bad?”

Bruce chuckled. “Yeah… I uh well _fun stor_ _y_ ” Oh lord, time to strap in emotionally.

“Hold on” Tony held up a hand. “We can do this back at the tower. Let’s go.”

 

“So actually it was _Hulk_ that shot us into space, and _I_ wasn’t even conscious for the first two years-”

Thor interrupted excitedly “yes, you see he had accidently found himself on Sakaar-”

“Which is, of course, this weird-trash based planet-”

“Where they hold these gladiator games-”

“And Thor also ended up on this planet for some reason-”

“Well, I was fighting my sister. You see, she took power from Asgard so I had to-”

“Anyways, Hulk kicked his ass in the game-”

“Well, it was an _equal_ fight I would say-”

“Well yeah, once you started _shooting lighting_ out of-”

“Perfectly valid in a fight to use one’s natural talent-”

“So if it was down to pure strength, Hulk would have-”

“If I had my _Hammer_ -”

Tony couldn’t take this anymore. “Okay okay okay. I got it. Hulk broke up with Natasha, surprising, I always thought she was more of the _I breakup with you_ type. Whatever. You met on trashy coliseum planet, cool. Very cool. So why exactly did you bring all your people here? I don’t think we got to that part and I really don't have all day”

“Right, well, as I was saying-”

“Short and simple pointbreak”

Thor looked unamused, which only served to amuse Tony more. Bruce also looked better, less like everyone and everything was out to get him. They were in the living room of Avengers’ tower, and currently the only ones there. Natasha was out to dinner with Sam and Cap to try and convince them of the accords, Vision was apparently _not_ on a date with Wanda, Rhodey was on a mission, and Clint was “retired”.

Tony relaxed further into the couch, he didn’t really want either of them to ask what had him so nervous, no reason to bring up the accords just yet.

“My sister, Hela, wanted to take over the universe and inorder to stop her we had to bring about Ragnarok. So, Asgard was uh, well completely destroyed.”

“Wow. that _was_ short and simple” Tony said, covering his eyes with his hand, “honestly though, what’s with your siblings and trying to conquer things??”

“Well you see, I believe it stems from their relationships with our father, Odin. He wasn’t exactly-”

“I didn’t actually want an answer to that question” Tony sighed and sat back up. It was now or never, “listen, there’s something we need to talk about-”

“Yes. Of course. My brother Loki” Thor said calmly.

“It’s about- wait did you say Loki? What about Loki? Didn’t you say he was dead?” Tony felt his anxiety rise, this couldn’t be good. Please let the news be about his funeral or something.

“Yes well, I say a lot of things.”

“You’re telling me he’s _alive?_ ” Tony turned to Bruce, “Brucie, baby, tell me Loki isn’t alive”

Bruce scratched at his arms, “well- I mean. _So_ it’s really not nearly as bad news as you think-”

“Not bad news??!” Tony couldn’t believe it. Loki was _alive?_

“Fear not friend Stark,” Thor held out his hands as if trying to approach and calm a frantic animal. Had he gotten up? Tony looked around at himself, he had, and he’d also moved subconsciously towards his lab. That’s where his suit was.

“Fear not?”

“Yes of course, Loki is on _our_ side now. That's why he’s at the compound with the rest of our people!”

  
  
  
  
“ _He’s WHAT????!!!!!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! There will be more Bruce/Thor in the next chapter. I just had to get them on Earth first lol. Also, I accept neither Tony, nor Cap hate in this house, just so you know for future chapters! I hope you enjoy!!! There's no beta so all mistakes are mine!


	3. A New Friend

Loki _was_ hiding this time. But in his defense Heimdall had heavily implied that _hiding_ was exactly what he was supposed to be doing. At least, Loki was fairly certain that was the look Heimdall gave him. Either that or it was the _why are you sneaking to the kitchens at this time of night_ look, but to Loki’s credit that one didn’t really seem applicable to the current situation.

Or did it? Loki _was_ sneaking some cookies from Hulk’s stash at the moment, since it was one of the few times he _wasn’t_ actively afraid of his brother’s green boyfriend smashing him into the floor for it. And it  _had_ been a while since he'd had Midgardian style cookies. Bruce was not, after all, the worst of bakers. Hulk was though. But  _that_ was an experiment they would not be trying again any time soon.

Loki's job for the time being was to hide out on the ship, play dead, and wait for everyone to settle before … well he wasn’t actually sure what the game plan was after that. Loki himself would prefer to simply stay hidden from the Midgardians indefinitely, perhaps pretend to be an entirely different Asgardian for a while. It was, after all, the best way to avoid an awkward conversation.

However, Thor, the big blonde idiot, was abysmal at keeping any kind of secret what so ever. Hell, Loki wouldn’t be surprised if the dumbass just blurted it all out to, which Avenger would be the worst possible option in this scenario? _Stark?_ Him, yes. Tony Stark was a terrifying man to cross after all and Loki had no doubt that in any given situation his current position on the man’s shit list was closer to the top than he’d like.

Then again, he wouldn’t have to wait in anticipation long if that _did_ happen. Loki doubted he’d even make it two steps off the ship before coming face to face with one of Midgard’s Avengers. But who knows? Maybe Banner would help curb his brother’s tongue before his presence here was given away?

 

“I thought you’d be in Asgard a bit longer than that”

 

Or not.

 

“Ah,” Loki turned around to greet his new visiter, daggers ready in his sleeves, “the Midgardian wizard-”

“Sorcerer, actually”

“What an unpleasant surprise,” Loki snarled before stepping forward, lethal intent dripping from the daggers now held comfortingly in his palms. He struck out with his left arm, only to see it on the opposite side of the room. It seemed the Midgardian wizard was using those accursed portals again, but before Loki could pull back his hand and re-evaluate the situation he found himself falling through yet _another_ portal.

_Not this again._

Loki used his own magic, stopping the cycle before it could begin and creating a few illusions to give him time to think. The illusions were to give the idea that the spell was successful, but it would not hold long if the wizard was half as smart as he seemed.

The Wizard's spell was actually quite simple, and if Loki hadn’t been caught entirely off guard the first time, he never would have suffered the humiliation. How was he to expect Midgard had magic? What was next? Midgardian immortals? _Wait,_ Loki found his thoughts traveling back to the Hulk and Banner's apparent inability to age like a proper Midgardian… _nevermind_.

“I know you’re still here.” The wizard said to the room as he ended his spell and cut through Loki’s illusions.

Loki smiled as he reappeared, “you didn’t honestly think you could get me with the same trick twice did you?”

The wizard smiled back, more strained, worried even. “You can’t blame a man for trying.”

Loki began to circle the room, looking for an opening and keeping an eye out for any more annoying portals. “So is that what you are then?”

“Pardon?”

“A one trick pony?” Loki stepped forward with a sudden and precise attack, but as the wizard moved to block him his form vanished into mist. Meanwhile, his real self snuck up behind him to strike…

Only to get an absolute face full of red fabric.

“WHAT THE HELL?” he cursed as he fought what seemed to be a sentient _cloak_. An _angry_ sentient cloak. Why couldn’t Midgardians be normal?? Who gives sentience to a cloak??

“Still think I’m a one trick pony?”

Loki snarled as the cloak retreated back to it’s master, “no, _now_ I see you as more of an annoying-” but before Loki could say what he was thinking he found himself falling through yet another portal.

 _So that’s what it is then_ . Loki thought as he broke free once more, using a more powerful spell of his own. _He’s afraid of me, he’s not giving me even a chance to think before throwing me through these… increasingly frustrating portals._ If this stranger didn’t want Loki to be able to plan his next move…. He wouldn’t.

Loki threw one of his daggers at the wizard’s back. The cloak reacted and Loki moved once more to strike. If the cloak protect’s the Wizard's _back_ , then he’ll just have to strike from the front.

And he would have gotten away with it too. If it wasn’t for that meddling Heimdall.

That Heimdall who was currently holding Loki’s arm in a steel grip, his dagger only inches from the Midgardian wizard’s throat.

“My prince, we _are_ trying to make friends here.” Heimdall said, gently prying the dagger from his grip”

The wizard took a few steps back and almost seemed to collapse in relief, before re-adjusting his mask of confidence and taking a step towards Heimdall.

“Thank you. I don’t believe we’ve met,” the wizard held out his hand, a hand that seemed to tremble despite his outward confidence, “I’m Doctor Stephen Strange”

“Heimdall,” he said before grabbing the wizard- _Strange-_ ’s arm in the traditional greeting. Damn him.

“This- this wizard has been a pain in my ass since the last time I was on Midgard, and I was this close” Loki held up his hand, pinching his fingers together in front of Heimdall’s face, “this close to being done with him and you RUINED IT.”

“Enough” Heimdall pushed Loki’s hand away from is face, “we are here as refugees, seeking goodwill from our Midgardian hosts and you would kill the first one to even see you?”

Loki shrunk back, it wasn’t enough that he was right, he also had that _I’m not surprised, but I am disappointed_ expression that Loki had always hated. Or was it the _of course you spent your weekend planning fratricide_ expression. Was there a difference? Loki supposed the later generally held a  _little_ more exasperation.

“Thanks for the concern,” Strange interrupted, “but I had it handled. I certainly wouldn’t have died quite that easily”

“Oh really?” Loki snarked, “then why are your hands _trembling_ Midgardian?”

The wizard looked him in the eye, “Nerve Damage.”

“What damage?”

Strange turned back to Heimdall, “I take it you’re babysitting him then?’

“It would seem so”

“Great,” he clapped his hands together, “then I have a brother to find and question. brb”

And then with a quick hand movement the Midgardian Wizard stepped through one of his portals and vanished.

 

“And exactly _why_ couldn’t I kill him again?”

  


Sam was walking back into the tower with Nat as Steve went around to the garage to park. One of Tony’s stricter rules was, if someone wanted to drive the fancy or bulletproof cars, they had to make sure it had a full tank of gas, and park it in the garage. Fortunately, Steve had drawn the short straw to park that night, so Sam was free to try and steal the couch and remote. After another fruitless, and frankly frustrating, discussion about the accords, he could use a pointless soap opera or two.

So Sam picked up his pace a bit to beat Nat into the room, only to find his plans thwarted when he bumped into a rather frazzled Tony in the doorway.

“Whoa, what’s your hurry man?”

Nat was quick to notice, “hey Tony, I tried- wait, Thor? What are you… Bruce?”

Sam looked past Tony to see what Nat was looking at, and oh boy. This was gonna be awkward.

“Hi Nat.” Bruce just kinda raised his hand, desperately not looking up, and half hidden behind Thor. A Thor that looked a little too pleased about that to boot. Wait, did Thor get a new haircut? Did Asgardians even _do_ that?

The silence stretched. Which, with Tony Stark in the room was a new phenomena.

Sam snuck a look, he was standing off to the side, trying to control his breathing. Was he having a panic attack? “What were you guys talking about before we got here? Did our resident billionaire go bankrupt or something?”

“Huh?” Thor turned to Sam, and then to Tony, “I don’t know, did you?”

Tony stared back at him for a moment. “What? No of course- just, what?”

Wow, something _must_ be wrong for Tony to be at a loss for words. Sam turned to the one person whom he trusted to actually explain the situation, “Banner, what’s going on?”

Bruce finally looked up, Nat looked down, _awkward_.

“Uh well, so you see, we _uh_ , we were-”

But before he could even begin, there was an orange glow, and suddenly a man stepped into the middle of the Avenger’s living room. Sam, Nat, and Tony surrounded him in an instant, on full alert to the new and sudden threat.

“Thor, I thought you were taking your brother to Asgard, why would you…” the stranger suddenly stopped and looked around, “am I in the Avenger’s tower?”

“Ah, Sorcerer!” Thor smiled, “‘Tis good to see you again, you see, about Lo-”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” Sam held up a hand, “One second. Thor you know this guy?”

“Yes, he is capable of providing unlimited Ale, and-”

“Cool, great.” Sam nodded his head, so the new guy was not a threat, _yet_ . “Second question, I heard him mention your _brother_ ? Like is he talking about the _Loki_ brother? Or do you have some other brother?”

“Fortunately, I only have the one-”

“So you’re telling me, Loki is alive???” Thor and Bruce both seemed to shrug, “And he’s here? Like, on Earth?”

“That’s _exactly_ what he’s saying,” Tony finally spoke up, he seemed to calm down now that he wasn’t the only one in the room that thought bringing Loki to Earth was a _bad_ idea. Hell, Sam wasn’t sure if he wouldn’t be panicking even more if he wasn’t in Tony’s position. Didn’t Loki almost kill him?

The stranger spoke, “Oh, so you’re aware. Good bye then”

Tony stepped towards him, “wait a minute, you can’t just break into my tower and-”

But with a quick movement and another flash of orange light, the stranger was gone once more.

“just walk… out?” Tony looked confused.

“Yes, he uh, does that” Thor said, patting him on the shoulder. “Quite annoying”

 

The room all collectively stared at Thor for a moment before an elevator ping was heard from down the hall and then the creak of the door to the living room as it was opened.

And with that, Captain America finally walked in, “oh hey Thor, Bruce, you here because of the accords?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised more Thruce in this chapter, but it turned out longer than I expected and I really want to set up the world before I start really getting into any romance... sorry >> Fear not, the accords are finally gonna make their appearance in the next chapter!!


	4. This is a comedy story!

Thor felt as the atmosphere of the room shifted, leaving only the feeling of a string, fully taut and capable of snapping at any moment. Sure, it wasn’t like the atmosphere was great earlier, but a thrum of underlying tension and clear discomfort from all parties was much, much worse than the earlier half crazed panic that had been more prominent before. The half crazed panic, after all was something he was used to with his brother and Hulk sharing a ship, and was a sign of passion in his allies. 

Banner took notice as well. 

“What are the accords?” Banner asked, turning towards Stark. “Like, is that what you were trying to bring up before Thor mentioned Loki?”

“Loki?” Rogers looked at Thor, who shrugged and avoided eye contact, “dead Loki?”

“... reports of my brother’s death may have been… slightly exaggerated.”

“Loki’s not dead? Wait is that-”

“Nah, we’re not getting into that Cap. We only  _ just _ got out of it,” Wilson interrupted, “we’re talking about the accords now, since you walked in. So shush.”

He turned to Stark, who had, somehow without anyone noticing, poured himself a glass of scotch. 

“I personally, can not  _ wait _ , for you to explain this whole mess to Thor a literal  _ 1500 year old demi-god _ and our friend Bruce hi-I-turn-into-the- _ Hulk _ -sometimes Banner, so go on. Tell them  _ all _ about it.” 

“I was going to,” Stark retorted, taking another sip of his drink, “I just got a bit  _ distracted _ when Thor decided to tell me about his murderous brother showing up, quite literally I might add, on my doorstep.”

He sighed, Thor shared a confused look with Banner. It was something Stark clearly hated talking about, but could it really be worse than Loki? Why was everyone dancing around this? Banner gave him a half-hearted  _ maybe it’s good news? _ shrug and Thor chuckled. Banner was right, it was best to keep optimistic. After all, perhaps this was just what they needed to get the Avengers to look past Loki’s presence on Earth for the time being. 

Stark sighed again and collapsed back into the chair from earlier, “He’s right though. Take a seat big guy, Bruce. We have a long and painful chat before us” he said, waving the two of them towards the couch.

Thor almost moved to sit at the loveseat with Banner, but noticed a certain smirking bird had already taken it. Disappointed, but only slightly, Thor sat down with him on the couch instead, Rogers sitting on the other side of it despite Wilson flirtatiously patting his lap at him, and Romanov simply stood at the edge of the room. This felt familiar, Thor realized, surrounded by friends, sitting in the living room of the Avengers Tower. Truly this was a homecoming, second only to the feeling of arriving back on Asgard after a fierce battle. 

But Asgard was gone now. And Midgard was all he had left. Midgard and his people, Thor smiled, he was confident only good things lied ahead for them all.

  
  


Bruce found himself wishing yet again for the easy confidence that Thor always seemed to have when he found himself in situations like this. He was so calm he was even yawning, arms fully stretched above his head. 

 

“So the accords are a very thick stack of paper, agreed upon by over a hundred different UN affiliated nations …. Blah blah blah” Bruce tried to pay better attention, but it was difficult with the warmth of Thor’s arm around his shoulders, and along his entire left side, pressed into the handsome deity. 

“Wait,” Thor cut into the conversation, and effectively dragging Bruce’s attention back to the matter at hand, “what’s the uh, You… En? You mentioned it earlier.”

Tony stopped, looked at Bruce who shrugged, frankly he found himself doing that particular gesture quite a lot today. “Right, of course you don’t know what that is-”

“It’s basically an alliance of all the countries on our planet-” Sam cut in. 

Tony cut right back, “It’s more complicated than  _ that, _ and it’s not every country either.”

“So?” Sam asked, “you wanna get into the itty bitty details here or do you just want him to get the gist of the matter so we can explain the problem?” 

“It’s not a  _ problem- _ ”

This time it was Steve that interrupted, “It  _ is  _ a problem Tony. Call it for what it is”

“ _ Fine _ . It’s a problem, you wanna take point here Cap?” Tony scowled, almost spitting his words out in his frustration. 

“Sure,” Steve said before turning back to Bruce and Thor, “They are telling us we can’t do Avenger duty without a permission slip. There, said it.”

“Great,” Tony sighed. “Any questions then? Thor, Bruce? No? Let’s order pizza, I have-”

“What,” Bruce said, forcing himself away from Thor’s warmth, “a permission slip? Like, we’d be working for the UN?”

“So it’s like shield?” Thor added in, his elbow landing on Bruce’s head as he leaned forward. 

“Sort of?” Tony said, almost cringing, “but with more, you know, politics.”

“And we all know how Shield turned out, don’t we?” Steve leaned back, Bruce had almost forgotten he was sitting on the couch with them, he pushed Thor’s arm off his head, blushing. And ignored Thor’s confused puppy-dog expression. 

“Wait so they’re putting us on a leash?” Bruce asked, looking around the room. 

“Pretty much, yeah” Sam said, quite clearly on Steve’s side of the matter. Not that  _ that  _ was new. Wait, were there sides? Tony and Steve didn’t seem to agree on whatever it was, but surely there wasn’t a choice right? If there was, what would it even be? 

“It’s not a leash,” Tony argued, “It’s holding us accountable. I know you remember what happened with Ultron.”

“Yeah, and uh, whose fault was that again?” Sam snarked from the loveseat.

“Hey!” Bruce shouted, the first loud noise he’d made all day. “Wanna point the blame this way too? Or do you think Tony was the only one who thought protecting our planet was a good idea after we got  _ invaded by aliens _ .”

“Careful big guy,” Natasha’s voice came as a surprise, “you’re looking a little  _ green  _ there.”

Bruce steadied his breathing, he’d forgotten she was here. This was awkward all over again. He was over her, quite obviously, what they had wasn’t fun or healthy. They literally settled for each other while they both went through a severe depression and had self worth issues. Relationships weren’t meant to feel bad like that, even if he did like Nat. The  _ Hulk  _ was able to realize that for crying out loud! Why did it take Bruce so long! 

Thor slapped his back, just strong enough to fully grab his attention, but not hard enough to actually hurt him. He’s been practicing holding back his strength when showing affection, though it was mostly because Loki responded to any form of pain by stabbing the source, even if that pain was a brotherly hug that got a little to constricting. Either way, Bruce appreciated it.

He smiled up at Thor, Thor grinned back, though it didn’t seem as loose and open as it usually did, confusion straining at the edges of his expression and tension in his muscles. It seems he was as excited about this whole mess as everyone else was. 

“That is  _ exactly  _ why we need accountability. Do you know how many lives could have been saved if someone had stepped in and had the authority to  _ stop me _ from making Ultron?”

“Would you have listened?” Sam asked.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself for everything Tony. You wanted to  _ help _ you aren’t a villian for that,” Steve insisted, his eyes painfully sincere. 

“But what  _ if- _ ”

“I certainly wouldn’t exist for one”

The entire room tuned as Vision floated through the wall, Wanda not far behind him in the doorway.

“Vis, we talked about this  _ doors? _ ”

“Of course, I apologize” 

“Vision, good to see ya buddy. Now all we need is Rhodey and we have the whole gang back together again” Tony smiled a soft strained smile. 

“What about Barton?” Thor asked, looking around the now full living room. Wanda sat on the edge of the table, Vision stood next to her.  _ Was it becoming a thing now for the avengers to just date each other? _ Bruce wondered, then again he’s not exactly the best with that particular track record. 

“He’s retired.” Tony said offhandedly, before returning to an argument he was having with Vision.

Thor looked at Bruce, “ _ retired _ ?” he asked quietly, as the rest of the Avengers talked amongst themselves.

“It basically means he quit, but less because he hates his job and more because he’s old.” Bruce explained.

“I see…” Thor nodded.

“Do you really?”

“Unimportant.” Thor turned from Bruce and addressed the room, er well, not the room per say, more just “Stark!”

“Pointbreak!” 

“Who is in charge of these… accords?” Thor questioned, his voice commanding the attention of the room. 

“You’re asking for the frontman?” Tony answered with his own question, stalling.

“Yes, that’s what I said. Is it someone I know? Can I talk to them directly?” Thor rolled his eyes, “I mean, whoever it is can’t really expect us to... what did we say earlier? Be leashed?”

“Well, it’s uh,” Tony’s eyes flickered to Bruce, “It’s not someone  _ you _ know. No.”

Bruce felt his veins fill with ice. 

It’s not someone Thor knew… That didn’t mean it wasn’t someone  _ Bruce _ knew.

“It’s Ross isn’t it?”

The room was still, the only sound Bruce could here was the pounding in his own chest. He saw Tony nod as his vision blurred, turning green at the edges. The world seemed to fade away from him, Hulk clawing at the edge of his subconscious. Anger, Fear,  _ fear, anger _ .  _ Ross is bad bad baD BAD BAD. _

“ -anner, Banner,” Bruce felt warm, solid hands on his shoulders, a calming familiar voice speaking to him through the fog of green, “Who is this Ross?”

Bruce felt Hulk calm at Thor’s presence, they were safe if Thor was here.  _ Safe. _

“He’s the man that hunted me when I first- when we, he caged us and tried, well he did these, there were these experiments and, I, no we-  _ Hulk _ does not like him. Neither do I, he uh, well he’s not exactly my biggest fan.”

Thor’s expression turned thunderous, the room filling with static electricity as he stood from the couch. The calm before the storm. 

Vision, missing any and all social cues as always, spoke up “Will you sign the accords?”

“No. We will be leaving for now, this accords thing sounds fun, but I’m afraid the uh, Revengers are cooler and we don’t bend our necks to this  _ Ross _ ” He clapped his hands together, holding his true thoughts at the back of his throat. He was clearly frustrated. This shouldn’t affect Thor that much, he was a King after all, and if he so wanted he could just leave with his people. It’s not like he was originally from Earth, either way the UN couldn’t hold authority over him if he just decided to not be an Avenger. If anything this should be a mild inconvenience to him, unless… Bruce caught Thor’s eyes with his own, unless he was upset for Bruce’s sake?

Was Thor outraged by Ross’s intervention simply because he saw how it affected him and Hulk? It’s not like he’d met him before, right? So he couldn’t exactly base this amount of anonymity off his own experience with the man. Granted, if he  _ had _ met Ross before, it was pretty common for anyone with half a heart or even half a brain to feel an immediate and thorough dislike for the man, if not outright revulsion.

“So if you’ll excuse us, it was nice seeing you all again, well I mean it would have been, but I do have a people to attend to so we’ll be leaving now.” Thor said gesturing back at Bruce.

Tony looked at them both brokenly as they started walking away, Bruce’s pace slightly faster than Thor’s in an attempt to leave as soon as possible. He was upset, Thor was upset, hell  _ Hulk _ was upset and he wasn’t even conscious for the conversation!! 

The two had almost made it to the door before Bruce heard Tony’s voice once more.

“Bruce, this isn’t going to just go away.”

 

And damned if this wasn’t  _ exactly _ what he was afraid of from the start. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha, man how absolutely hilarious is that!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> don't hurt me.


	5. Feel the Feelings

Natasha felt as the door slammed behind Thor, shaking the entire room if not half the tower, “That could have gone better.”

Sam shrugged, getting up from his chair and stretching “could have gone a hell of a lot worse too. Did you feel the air earlier? I’m just glad he didn’t electrocute us all.”

“This is really bad timing” Steve joined in, he looked almost as frazzled as Tony during all this.

Speaking of which, “Yeah, I was kinda hoping we’d have it all sorted before Thor showed back up”

Natasha quirked an eyebrow, “and Bruce? What were you hoping for him?”

She felt more than saw what little energy Tony had left drain from him.

“It would be like me right? I mean, he’d be treated like me.” Wanda said, she looked almost hopeful, likely looking for someone,  _ anyone _ , to be in a similar situation to herself. To not feel as alienated or alone. 

But she was wrong.

“You are fully cognizant when you use your powers, you can be trained to get better, have more control” Natasha remarked, “Bruce isn’t in control when he’s the Hulk, he’s-”

“A giant green rage monster?” Wanda interrupted, spite dripping from her words. 

“Yes.” 

Natasha remembered the first time she’d seen the Hulk, how utterly terrifying it was. His anger, his size and strength. She remembers the overwhelming fear she felt that day, trapped in the sky with him, jumping from stairs to rafters as Hulk destroyed everything in his path to get to her. She remembered how fragile she felt as he crushed steel with his bare hands and little to no effort. How from that moment on she only ever stepped towards him in fear, like she was trying to tame a feral beast that could kill her at any moment. 

She remembered how her fear of him colored how she saw Bruce and she  _ especially  _ remembered exactly how that had affected him. How Bruce only ever seemed to shrink further into himself, seeing Hulk as the worst and yet only useful thing about himself. How must he have felt when she forced that change on him, it must have made him feel so alone-Wait.

“Did Thor and Bruce arrive together? Or was them both being here just a coincidence?” she asked Tony, ending the silence suddenly.

“I was wondering that too actually. Like, was it just me or did they seem a bit, you know,  _ closer _ than they were before?” Sam added, cutting through whatever tension was left.

“Oh they were definitely  _ closer _ . We were sitting on a three person couch and I practically had two full cushions to myself.” Steve added.

Not to be left out, Vision joined in to the discussion as well, “It seems unlikely, as that would require Bruce Banner to have piloted specifically to Asgard in order to seek Thor out.”

“But Thor was with us when Bruce disappeared, wasn’t he?” Wanda chimed in, “It was during the whole Ultron thing right?”

“Yeah, but wasn’t he like, Hulk at the time?” Sam turned to Natasha, she nodded, “So that means Hulk was like ‘ _ I wanna go to Asgard, Thor friend, hate Earth’ _ and was like, fully capable of piloting there.”

“Interesting” Vision commented, his voice as flat as ever, “would that imply that the Hulk retains at least some of Bruce Banner’s intelligence or experience when he’s transformed? And that he simply doesn’t incorporate it actively because he chooses instead to act solely on instinct and emotions?”

“So it’s a left brain right brain type thing? The scientist versus the uhh big green … ball of emotions?”

“Ladies, ladies, you’re  _ all  _ wrong.” Tony said, cutting through the chatter, “Thor was the one that found Hulk. And  _ then _ they went to Asgard together before it got blown up or whatever happened”

“Really?” Natasha asked, confused, “He found Hulk? What, was he looking for him?”

“That’s nice, more than we did after all,” Steve said, he looked guilty, Natasha felt guilty.

“No, no wrong again. It was coincidence or something I’m not sure. He was apparently Hulk for a few years though so there’s that, I think. This was actually the part of the conversation where we brought up Loki so I was a bit distracted.”

“He was Hulk for a few  _ years??? _ ” Sam whispered, Natasha felt her heart drop into her stomach.  _ It must have been so awful for him. What must have happened during that time? _

“Yeah apparently he doesn’t remember much, but Hulk is now a famous gladiator on some trash-planet where Thor found him, I guess? You’d think he was on vacation they way those two talked about it geesh.” Tony rolled his eyes, “either way they were having more fun than we have these past few weeks.”

_ Fun? _

Natasha felt like she missed a lot more than just part of an earlier conversation all of a sudden.  _ Hulk was having fun? _

_ Hulk could.. have fun? _

  
  


“Was anybody else wondering what the ‘Revengers’ are? Or was that just me?”

 

Loki was more or less relaxed, it had been almost the entire day since he was unnecessarily accosted by the Midgardian wizard from before, and he was confident that the Avengers were either after his head and somehow, miraculously incompetent as compared to usual, or were  _ not  _ after his head. Either way, it meant his head would remain attached to his body for the foreseeable future and that, he thought as he poured himself yet another glass of champagne, was worth celebrating.

“Careful your highness,” a deep, annoyingly mature voice spoke from behind him, “you wouldn’t want a certain Valkyrie to think you’re competing with her”

Loki looked around at the countless empty champagne bottles around him with little interest, “I have to find  _ some  _ way to entertain myself when my brother isn’t here to stab.”

“Of course,” Heimdall replied, taking the seat next to him, “are you entertained then?”

“Well not  _ now _ I’m not.” Loki sulked, waving his hand to vanish the mess around them, “your very presence takes the fun out of everything.”

He smiled, “well, you need not wait long in boredom, your brother shall return shortly.”

“Oh great” Loki rolled his eyes, it’s not like his life revolved around his brother, he just didn’t really have anything to do on this boring old ship while everyone else was outside and enjoying the fresh Midgardian air. It wasn’t like they actually  _ needed  _ it or anything. 

“He is quite upset”

_ Now that _ , that peaked his interest.

“Really? Did Captain Rogers show up to the meeting with longer hair than him or something? What could possibly make him so upset  _ you _ would mention it to  _ me _ ?”

“Midgardian Politics”

“What-?”

“Loki! Heimdall! We have returned.” Thor’s voice boomed through the room where the two were sitting, “We did get lost, a little, on our way back, but that matters not.”

“ _ We  _ didn’t get lost Thor, you just don’t listen to directions… ever”

“Well, maybe  _ you’re  _ just bad at  _ giving  _ directions. Ever think of that?”

“Oh yes, he looks positively devastated” Loki drawled as the two entered the room fully, “Brother, when you’re done flirting we should talk-”

“No, not tonight brother” Thor looked tired, his usual smile strained. It almost reminded him of the few times he’d seen Thor arguing with their father about what to do with him.  He didn’t miss it.

“Is this about me?” Loki figured he’d ask, get it out of the way early.

Banner is the one who answered however, “Uh no actually. This time isn’t your fault, which is wild because for, like I mean a few solid hours we definitely thought, well at least I was under the impression, that our biggest hurdle would be, well quite frankly, uh you”  he looked at Thor, “you were thinking the same thing right?”

“Oh certainly” Thor nodded, “it is not often that a problem arises before me that isn’t linked to my brother or something he has done, which is why today came as such a-”

“Oh spit it out already!” Loki shouted, “I’ll grow old waiting for you two to get to the point.”

Heimdall quirked an eyebrow, Loki refused to acknowledge it.

“It’s me. I’m the problem” Banner said, shrugging and scratching at the ends of his sleeves.

“What, no. You are not a problem! They are. The problem,” Thor was quick to reassure,  _ this was getting nowhere _ .

“This tells me nothing Banner you always think you’re the problem,” Loki said, rolling his eyes.

Heimdall moved closer to the group, “That is enough for now. There is nothing to be done for sometime, and no reason to relive the frustrations of earlier in this moment. Instead let us rest. We have achieved much on this day, and that alone is worth celebration.”

“Yes of course, thank you Heimdall.” Thor said, allowing himself the relaxation recommended him. “I think I could use a good spar, care to fight brother?”

“I’m good” Loki said, he had a feeling there was another large idiot who wanted to let out some frustrations. But that could have just been the green around Banner’s eyes giving him away.

“Fine then, do you think Hulk would be up for a round or two?” Thor turned to Banner, trying to act like sparring with Hulk wasn’t exactly 100% what he had wanted to do from the start. 

“Yeah, I think he’d like that” 

And with that, the two of them made the familiar trip to the ship’s training room and left the two remaining Asgardians alone once more.

“You’re right.” Loki said, turning towards Heimdall, “he’s upset and it’s bad”

Heimdall’s  _ I told you so  _ expression was easy enough to read.

“Well? What happened?” 

“It seems our King ran into bureaucratic problems, and our green companion is sought once more by an old enemy.”

“Hmmmm….” Loki took a moment to process this information. So his brother was upset for Banner’s sake, interesting. “So what you’re telling me… Is that it  _ isn’t _ my fault this time?”

Heimdall rolled his eyes and a small smile almost played on his lips. 

“YES! HA!”  

 

Thor crashed into the ceiling before falling and landing on the mats beneath him. An uppercut was rare from Hulk during a friendly spar like this one.

“Is your intent to take out  _ all _ your frustrations on me?”

“Thor friend, Friend angry, very angry and weak”

“I’m not weak,” Thor got back up on his feet, brushing off some pieces of the ceiling from his shoulders. “I’m just going easy on you”

“Thor distracted”

“Am not!”

“Am too! Thor distracted over Banner!!” Hulk threw one of the training manikins across the room at Thor. “Banner upset too!”

“Oh please, don’t try to pretend you aren’t angry over this!”

“Thor angry. Hulk calm.” Hulk suddenly stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly holding back in an attempt to seem more rational. 

Thor felt his eyebrows raise incredulously.  

“Calm?” 

“Mostly” Hulk amended. 

“You’re mostly calm?” Thor asked.

“More calm than Thor.”

“No you’re not.  _ I’m  _ more calm. I’m always the more calm one.”

“No Hulk calm. Thor stupid”

“WHat? Intelligence wasn’t at question here”

“Yeah, cause Thor’s stupid” Hulk smirked, “no question”

“You!” Thor kicked the mat towards him “You’re not being very sensitive about this!”

Hulk grabbed the end of the mat and pulled, taking it out from under Thor and causing him to stumble.

“No sensitive! Thor mad!”

“Yes okay I’m Mad!” Thor shouted, throwing the chair he had grabbed earlier to the ground rather than at his companion. “I- I just thought, when we came back to Midgard it would be  _ easy _ .”

Thor slumped onto the ground, his hand massaging at his forehead in an attempt to get rid of the tension there, “I thought our biggest challenge would just, well  _ you know _ , I thought the problem would be  _ Loki _ , like always.”

Hulk moved to sit next to him, “Thor sad”

“...yeah”

“Banner also sad, sad about team, blames self.”

“And you Hulk?”

“Hulk angry,” he punched the ground beneath him.

Thor rolled his eyes, “oh really? I’m so surprised”

“Hulk hate Ross. Ross hurt Banner”

Thor’s hands clenched in frustration. Whomever this Ross was, he was an enemy of Banner’s, and any enemy of his was an enemy of Thor Son of Odin.

“And you?” Thor looked up at his friend, “What is your opinion of this Ross?”

Hulk shrugged and then looked away, “Hurt Hulk. Emotionally. Not physically, ‘cause Hulk is Hulk, but still hurt”

Thor felt his heart constrict in his chest, _this man hurt Hulk as well?_ _Who was he?_

“I’m sorry my friend,” Thor leaned into Hulk, resting his head against his arm.

“Hulk sorry too…” Thor felt him clap him on the back, his strength clearly being held back so as not to send the smaller Asgardian across the room. Not that it would hurt him. Thor was just as strong after all. 

And, he could prove it.

“Ready to spar yet?” Thor smiled, getting up to stretch properly.

“Sure,” Hulk responded, before punching him through the ceiling once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was absolutely 100% my favorite chapter to write, I love, love, love, the dynamic between Hulk and Thor and I hope I did it justice!!


	6. Midgard 101

“Attention Everyone!” Thor’s voice reverberated around the room, gaining the attention of the Asgardians attending. He waited for the room to quiet before speaking again, “As you know, we have been on Midgard now for almost seven days. It has been refreshing, I’m sure, for everyone to be able to leave the ship and not worry about, oh I don’t know a tribe of A-Chiltarians or something attacking us.” He joked, there was a light murmur of agreement and a few soft chuckles. As nice as that planet had been, the locals were less than friendly. Of Course, it didn’t help that that particular day Bruce and Loki has made a bet that he couldn’t Hulk out for a full day despite whatever dangerous situations they may have found themselves in. A bet Bruce _won_ , much to Loki‘s annoyance.

“But,” he continued, “If we want to stay, it is only appropriate we learn Midgard’s culture, and the rules to follow so long as we stay here. As such, we shall be holding classes for the next few weeks on how _not_ to act amongst Midgardians. Leading these classes for the first few days will be Banner and myself.”

He gestured towards Bruce, who was standing at his side in front of everyone. It only made sense, Bruce thought to himself, he was the only native Midgardian to ever spend so long amongst the Asgardian people after all. That did not, however, mean he was stoked that he’d have to help teach an entire race of people that smashing cups into the ground is _not_ in fact a show of appreciation, but rather destruction of property. And was bad.

“Boo!” Loki threw a handful of popcorn at his brother, “This is _bor_ ing, let’s teach a class about theatre instead. At least then, when someone talks this much it’s called a monologue and _it_ is about interesting things, like death, and vengeance.”

“You out of all of us don’t even need to be here!” Thor said, picking a piece of popcorn off his shoulder and flicking it back at his brother. “In fact, you’re banned.”

Loki ate another piece of his popcorn, taking his time chewing it, “Banned? From what? Your half baked _Midgardian lessons_?”

“Yes, and they call it _Earth_ , so you know, lesson number one right there. See? We’re already learning”

“BOOOO!!!” another handful of popcorn made its way to Thor’s face.

“Right, Banner if you wouldn’t mind?”

Bruce smiled, one thing that he never minded was messing with Loki. It was one of the few simple things he truly enjoyed doing with his free time. After all, Loki was often messing with him and reciprocation is only expected amongst friends. So he went along with it and simply started walking towards Loki and allowed his eyes to turn green.

“Alright, Alright! I’ll be good. There’s absolutely no need to get that neanderthal involved” Loki acquiesced, vanishing the popcorn in his hands and sitting almost half right in his chair.

“Great, we’ll start with the basics. Humans live to be less than a century old on average…” Bruce let Thor’s words fade into the back of his mind.

He began thinking back to what Tony had said, and the issue with the Accords. In theory it made perfect sense, hold the Avengers accountable for what they do, make it so that the damage that may occur while they save the world is minimal and that the blame no longer lies solely on the Avengers shoulders. But that came with politics, people telling them what to do and where to go. Bruce wasn’t an idiot, he saw what happened with Ultron. He knew about the damage, how innocent people had been hurt because of them. But…

Bruce felt Thor gently bump his shoulder, he had been telling an old Asgardian joke to get everyone else in the room more relaxed. They’d been nervous since arriving, collectively waiting for the other shoe to drop. They had no idea that it already had.

He smiled softly at Thor, let his eyes wander the room, and found himself back in his own head.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be an Avenger again, have a sense of purpose, save the world. Hell, living in the tower with everyone? Tony and Steve, even Thor had his own floor there. He missed them, he really did, and he wanted them to be a team again. But, he knows Ross. And he knows that whatever he has planned, UN sanctioned or not, is something with his own goals in mind, not the protection of others.

Bruce grit his teeth as he thought again of his time running from that man, and worse… the time he‘d ran out of places to run. _He was never going to let that man near Hulk again._ Hulk didn’t deserve to be caged and tested like some kind of monster, was it really any wonder why he’s ended up with such serious anger management problems?? But, then wouldn’t he make everything worse? Split up the team? What if this isn’t as bad as it seems and it really _is_ just to make sure he and Tony didn’t build another murder robot?

Was he just being needlessly pessimistic at this point? He wasn’t even here these past few years, what if it has nothing to do with him at all? He really needed to get out of his head.

“So that is Midgard-er Earth 101, does anyone have some questions for Banner and I?” Thor’s voice was a comfort. It was deep and calm, optimistic and confident even in the worst of situations and the in the silliest of moments. Bruce could always count on Thor, he was one of the few things Bruce had that he couldn’t break or destroy. And Hulk has tried. Like really tried.

But Hulk liked Thor too, probably in a more innocent and friendly way, like that of a puppy making friends with another of it’s kind for the first time, but he liked him all the same.

Then again, who was Bruce to say how Hulk felt about Thor, he wasn’t one to eavesdrop on his thoughts when he could help it.

“I have one,” Loki held up his hand, “what is the Midgardian way of saying, this is a huge waste of time and you are an idiot?”

“Well,” Thor answered, “you would say, _this is a huge waste of time and you are an idiot,_ you see Loki, they speak the same language here. You don’t have to ask me to translate for you”

“That’s not what I- oh forget it” Bruce allowed himself a soft chuckle. He could never tell if Thor was honestly oblivious in these moments or if it was a tactic to turn Loki’s teasing back on him.

Thor gave a small wink to Bruce, answering his question. And also sending his blood rushing straight down, and causing a blush to start on tthe back of his neck. Thor was too damn attractive to be doing things like winking.

 

Thor knew that he should pay more attention to the class of his people, it was important they understood Midgard’s customs and could blend in with the society here. But his eyes kept wandering to Banner at his side.

It seemed that he’d be engaged for a moment, but then his eyes would darken and it would be clear that his thoughts were leading him in unhealthy directions. So as the class continued, Thor made sure to include Banner whenever he seemed too lost in thought. If he took this heroic incentive of his to help his friend as a chance to brush up against him and initiate contact, that was his choice.

Besides, seeing Banner’s entire face turn red after that wink had Thor almost crying from how absolutely adorable he was. One day, he told himself, he would get up the courage to ask the other man out on a date. A proper one, where they weren’t worrying about whatever weekly threat they’d been dealing with over the past year.

With roses and candles and-

“Your majesty,” a voice from the back row spoke up, “I have a question”

“Yes,” Thor looked at who was speaking, “Agnar?”

“What if a Midgardian wishes to join us in a duel or approaches us with ill intentions to fight?”

Banner took the chance to answer this one, “Don’t”

“Don’t ?”

“Yeah just, whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t do that”

“But what if-“

“No” Banner shook his head.

“What our friend, doctor Banner is trying to say, is that Midgardians are like small children. They can try to hurt you, but they likely won’t succeed and anything you do to them is much more likely to be too much for their weak frail little bodies”

Banner kicked him in the shin, “with exception of course”

“That hasn’t been my experience” Loki said, glancing at Banner wearily.

“What, being a harmless child, or Midgardians not being dangerous?” Banner asked.

“Both” the popcorn made a reappearance. If only so Loki could punctuate what he said by popping another piece into his mouth.

Thor smiled, Loki as a child was indeed far from harmless. He’d been quite the handful for both their parents then, not that Thor was a perfect child. His father had wanted him to take crossbow training as his elective, but he’d chosen foreign language instead. And not one of the more popular ones either.

“Anyone else? Remember there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Thor caught another hand being raised, “yes, you there”

“Would you rather fight a Hulk sized human or a human sized Hulk?”

Thor blinked.

“Well that’s a stupid question”

Banner nodded, “obviously a Hulk sized human, as a human sized Hulk would still pretty much kick his ass”

Thor shook his head, “you might think that, but I assure you that I am more than a match for Hulk, human sized or not, as shown by the numerous times I have defeated him in combat!”

Loki was trying to hold back his laughter, clutching his hand over his mouth so as not to make a sound and interrupt such an important discussion.

“Have you though? Like, come on. Can you name one time where you definitively defeated Hulk?” Banner asked, putting Thor on the spot once more.

“Well of course, there was that time in the helicarrier, when we fought and I was able to-“

“But we didn’t finish that fight.”

“Or how about that time on Sakaar-“

“We didn’t finish that one either” Banner shook his head, curls bouncing with the movement.

“Okay, What about…” Thor racked his brain for more instances of his fights against Hulk. He even began to think to their many spars and matches. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized, “it’s not like Hulk’s ever beaten me in a battle either!”

“What? What about that time… he…” Banner looked down and scratches his chin, “huh, I guess we’ve never actually ended a fight properly have we?”

“Well I for one vote for a fight to the death,” Loki interrupted, “that way we can be truly sure”

“Of course you’d say that, you’re-“

Thor was interrupted when Heimdall entered the room.

“I’m sorry to intrude upon the day’s lessons your majesty, but there is a man here to see you. He says it is urgent”

“Well, who is it?” Thor asked, confused by the visitation. What could be so urgent?

“It’s me sparkles,” Tony Stark walked in, “and I came in advance to warn you”

Banner placed his hand gently on Thor’s bicep, leaning towards Stark but unwilling to take a full step. “Warn us? About what?”

Tony sighed, he looked exhausted, the bags under his eyes seemed to have bags of their own, his skin was pale, and he looked like he hadn’t been eating.

“You’re about to have company, and not the fun Tony Stark kind.”

“What? Wait than who-?”

“Me.” An unfamiliar voice entered the room, and Thor felt Banner stiffen beside him. His hand, which had previously been a gentle weight on Thor’s arm was now clenched and painful, his nails digging into the skin. Thor moved without thinking, stepping in front of his friend to block his view of the intruder.

“Good to see you again _doctor_ ,” the stranger jeered, his expression one of clear disgust. “I’m here to discuss the Accords”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh NO! What???


	7. Whose Side Are You Even On?

Thor looked down at Banner as the man stepped towards them, foolishly arrogant. Banners eyes were green, and it was clear he was fighting Hulk, the two sides equally determined to gain control. It was imperative that they be taken away from this- this whoever he was, Thor looked to Loki, who caught his eye.

Loki raised an eyebrow, hand twitching as if reaching for a knife. Thor shook his head imperceptibly, making sure to stay between Banner and the stranger. He nodded towards the door and shot his eyes towards his friend, hoping his brother would get the unsaid message. He did.

In an instant, before the man could even cross half the room, Loki used his magic to make both of them disappear.

The stranger balked, stopping in his tracks, “where did Banner go? I’m here to talk with him!”

“Are you? That is unfortunate,” Thor let himself stand at his full height and walked confidently towards him, “I'm afraid uh, _N_ _ew_ Asgard is closed today, no Midgardians allowed."

"What? This is my property!"

"Except Stark, he can stay" Thor amended.

Thor kept himself turned towards the stranger, He wasn’t going to let this man anywhere near Banner, especially not if it was who he thought it was.

The man looked around as Thor got closer, as if finally realizing just what he’d walked into, and who he was talking to. He swallowed nervously as he looked to the door and noticed Heimdall blocking the only exit available to him, sword held between his hands. His eyes roamed the room and saw, belatedly, that it was full of Asgardians, loyal to their King, and fiercely protective of their own, Banner included.

“You don't get it do you?” He clipped, attempting to take control back. He failed.

Thor felt the familiar thrum of electricity in his fingers, his eyes almost glowing. Was this how Banner felt when he was about to Hulk out? The blinding anger? The slow build of power that comes with the near loss of control?

Thor hasn’t even spoken with this man yet and he already wanted to kill him.

“Stark!” The man barked, finally backing down from whatever prideful game of chicken he thought he was playing, “I thought you were here to protect me”

Thor had forgotten Stark was even in the room. He turned to look and saw him sitting on the edge of a desk, tapping away on his phone.

“Huh? Oh me? Nah, I’m just here to watch.” He said, not even looking up, “otherwise I would have been authorized to bring a suit right Ross?”

Ross looked furious, his face turned red and he seemed as if he was just about to say something before he looked once more around the room and stormed out.

At least, he tried to. Heimdall was still in the doorway, and he refused to move as the man approached.

“I demand you let me leave you-“

“Enough,” Thor said, it seemed even Stark did not like this Ross. And Thor was under the impression that he was in favor of the Accords from their conversation a week prior.

“What are you going to do? Kill me? I’ll have you know I’m a member of the-“ Heimdall slammed his sword into the ground, inches from the man’s feet.

“The king speaks” Heimdall said once the man had been silenced.

“Thank you Heimdall” Thor turned back to the man once more. “You are not welcome among my people, if you wish to speak to any of them you may speak instead to me. On my terms, if you attempt to take me by surprise I do not know how I or my people may react to it”

Ross looked at Heimdall, his eyes focusing on the edge of his blade.

“And Banner?” Thor hated hearing such a vile mouth say a name so important to him, “he’s not one of yours”

And that was where this Ross was wrong.

“Heimdall, is Banner not an Asgardian?”

“Of course your majesty. As much as I.”

“And you Agnar? What have you to say about it?”

“Aye, his blood is no less Asgardian than mine”

Thor smirked, “let’s open it to the room then, anyone?”

The room exploded with loud and expressive agreement, his people had accepted Hulk as one of their own long ago and Banner was not far behind.

“Sounds like he’s one of theirs to me” Stark chimed in, clearly pleased to watch Ross sweat.

“Either way, I have jurisdiction-“

“No, you do not.” Thor stated, his tone becoming more brittle and biting the longer the conversation dragged on, “we are not Midgardians, and we are not under the rule of the you- en. Our presence here is that of allies, not citizens. And I am the King of Asgard. Not you”

“You’ll regret speaking to me this way. You can’t just threaten-“ Thor walked away.

There was no need to continue the conversation further, if it could be called a conversation. Ross would not be swayed, but he was also a weak human. It should be no trouble to keep him from Banner in the end. He was one of them after all, and it was Thor’s duty to care for his people. If he had a special interest in Banner especially, that was his own business.

“Let him leave Heimdall, no one really wants to talk to him” Thor waved him away, and watched tiredly as Heimdall moved from the door.

Ross was out the door as quick as lightning and Thor felt a weight fall crumble from his shoulders as he watched him leave.

What an awful human.

Agnar raised his hand once more, “how about that one? Can we kill that one?”

Thor sighed as Stark burst out laughing.

 

“Sooo… not a fan of that particular human huh?” Loki asked, awkwardly.

“Uh not particularly no.” Bruce sighed, he had a migraine from holding back Hulk. The other guy had been determined to show, the sight of Ross alone throwing him into a fury.

“Is that one your father or something?” Loki asked, throwing a dart at the board across the room. They were currently in Loki’s quarters, which were separated from the rest of the Asgardians. Apparently they had grown tired of his numerous pranks and demanded he get his own “royal quarters” that are befitting a “prince of Asgard”. The cleaning droid with the knife taped to it had been the deciding factor in that decision. Poor Stabby, he only really did what he’d been made for.

“No, not everyone has daddy issues to blame for their problems” Bruce threw a dart himself, glad he’d talked Loki down from daggers.

“So who is he? I find it hard to believe he’s much of an actual threat to, well, you.” Loki said, gesturing to Bruce as if the small, nervous man was the biggest threat in the room.

Then again, he was.

“He’s kinda like the monster under my bed,” Bruce tried to explain, but even he didn’t understand why Ross evoked such strong fear from him. Loki was right after all, there was nothing a human like him could do to them. “He was the one that chased me and the other guy down for years. He was constantly on my ass, and it felt like any moment would be the one where he found me and… and I just didn’t know what would happen if he did”

Loki threw another dart, this one lacking the usual precision of his strikes.

“You know what they say” Bruce continued, “your imagination builds monsters worse than they could be in reality”

Bruce threw a dart. It went through the wall.

“And how about when he caught you?”

Bruce startled, “What?”

Loki rolled his eyes, his dart hit home, “I asked about when he did catch you. Was it as bad as you imagined? Or was it worse?”

Bruce closed his eyes and turned his head away. He could feel Loki’s gaze on him, heavy, and far too capable of cutting through his bullshit.

Then again, it’s not like Loki doesn’t know what it’s like to be on the run.

Bruce swallowed, the words were difficult to form, and impossible to speak. They stalled on his tongue.

The silence seemed to stretch, Loki apparently uncomfortable with the mood he’d created. He looked sheepish, and began fiddling with the dart in his hands as if it was one of his knives.

“It’s your tu-“

“It was worse.”

Loki looked surprised, like he hadn’t truly expected an answer. It wasn’t often Bruce told another of his past after all. But he soon registered what had been said and he turned away himself.

“Ha, I knew it. That’s why we run after all isn’t it?” Loki whispered, “we run and we hide behind my brother because he’s strong and confident and he’s a constant that will always be there.”

Bruce smiled, “you know, I don’t think this is about me anymore.”

Loki snorted, “it’s still your turn you know”

“Yeah, uh I don’t think I’m going to win this particular game” Bruce said, barely hitting the the board with his dart.

“What, would you rather arm wrestle? Not very good at that I’m afraid” Loki snarked, before his eyes lit up. “Oh, I know! You can stand with an apple on your head. I’ve heard of humans doing that before, that would make for a much more interesting target”

Bruce almost felt his jaw hit the floor, “are you suggesting… what- no. Loki, I’m not going to stand there and let you throw daggers at me!” Bruce couldn’t believe he even had to say that out loud.

Loki rolled his eyes, “what are you afraid of? That I’ll hit you?”

“Well yeah! That’s usually the fear someone has when asked if someone can use them for target practice!!”

Loki stared at him blankly, and it took a moment for Bruce to put it together.

“Oh, right. I guess we could try then”

And that was how Thor and Tony found them an hour later, Loki throwing increasingly ridiculous knives and such at Bruce, who was balancing an apple on his head. The game had gone from simply throwing daggers as he held still, and devolved to a competition where Loki would attempt to hit the apple, and Bruce would attempt to dodge it while keeping it balanced on his head.

“See Stark? I told you they’d be fine, just a little recreation while we dealt with our guest.” Thor smiled, as he led Tony into the room.

“Recreation?? They look like they’re trying to kill each other! Did you think showing me your brother throwing daggers at my friend would _help_ with my impression of him?” Tony’s voice seemed shrill.

Loki dropped the dagger he had been about to throw, “please, do come in. My rooms, as you know, are free for just anyone to enter at any time.”

Tony looked like he was gonna drop, or shoot Loki, whichever instinct won over first.

Bruce decided to step in, “we were just playing around Tony-“

“PLAYING AROUND???? What? What if you get hurt??”

“I can‘t?”

“Wh- what, Well what if you Hulk out?”

Bruce shrugged, “then I Hulk out?”

“Yes, I’m sure Hulk would enjoy such a sport as well. Though he’d likely have trouble holding still” Thor laughed, patting Tony on the back.

“I would prefer not to” Loki said, leaning against the wall. He too seemed to be dancing between fight or flight since they walked in. Was he afraid of Tony?

“Oh, cool. A slightly different response than I expected, but cool” Tony calmed back down, his usual smile pasted on his face, “Well, when you see the big guy next tell him I’m sorry about the Ross thing. Anyways, glad to see you’re okay, I’ve got to go soothe whatever feathers we’ve rustled today.“

He stopped at the door, “and Thor, what you said earlier about not being from Earth? We might be able to use that. Keep an eye on our friend until we get this settled though.”

“Of course,” Thor smiled softly, his eyes catching Bruce’s, “it will be hard to tear my gaze away”

Bruce felt himself once more turn completely red as Loki groaned, miserable.

“Cool, you do that.” Tony made finger guns as he backed out the door, “I’ll catch you later. Bye!”

And with that, Tony was gone from the room.

Bruce felt the apple struck from his head, the dagger piercing the fruit easily and pinning it to the doorframe.

“Point for me! Brother, care to play?”

 


	8. Really Dude??

“What you’re saying, is that you were busy patrolling, and that’s why you didn’t make it to the class?“

Val nodded, she was only really half paying attention to Hulk‘s mini-self, most of her attention was on the drink she had in her flask. It was getting low.

“Oh I believe you-„

“good“

“At Least I would…“ Banner said, “If Ross hadn’t literally walked in through the front door!“

Ah, so that’s what she missed, and likely why she had to accompany Banner for his trip to the Midgardian Library that day. Thor had been weirdly adamant about someone protecting a guy that as far as she knew couldn’t die.

“Look, I don’t even know who that guy is…“

Banner deflated, “yeah… honestly I wish I didn’t either”

Val shrugged, then took another swig. They were running low back on the ship and she had assumed that Midgard would have something as an acceptable substitute, but she had been profoundly disappointed. This in no way lessened the amount she drank each day, but she did still feel the increasing presence of a future without good booze.

“I don’t get why you’re so scared, little guy. That was half a fortnight ago. It’s not like Hulk is gonna let anything happen to you or him. Haven’t you gotten closer this past year or so?”

Banner shrugged, Val hoped they were getting close to the Library.

“I mean, we share the same body, so it’s not like we could get closer. You know? Like physically?”

Val lifted a single eyebrow and stopped mid-stride.

“Okay, bad joke I know. But yeah, well what if I wanna protect him?”

Val snorted and started walking once more, passing an insulted looking Banner as she did so. She couldn’t help it, the image of the little guy getting all rested up for a fight while shielding an eight foot tall colossus like the Hulk behind him was an interesting image indeed. And quite amusing.

Banner made an affronted noise and jogged a bit to catch back up, “I mean like, emotionally! Or like, mentally...Listen! Do you know how many PhDs I have?”

Val did not know what a PhD was, but Banner sure mentioned them a lot. Val was still half listening to him and half thinking about how she was going to try and bribe Loki behind Heimdall’s back to get more booze when she noticed he had gone quiet. Alarmingly quiet.

“Banner?” Val turned around, looking to see what had silenced him so suddenly.

Banner was looking at her, eyes and veins pulsing with green. He was holding back Hulk? Why?

Then she noticed Banner’s hand, it was clasping his neck. There was a small dart there, that he pinched off before he started stumbling back towards her. His arms landing gently on her shoulders as he balanced against her.

What was going on??!!

“Val, keep him calm.”

“What? What’s happening Mini-man? Were you attacked?? Did someone hurt you?”

Banner seemed to be losing his fight with the Hulk, but he said one last thing before Hulk had full control.

“Don’t let them take him”

That was when Val looked around and noticed they had been surrounded by what appeared to be a Midgardian Military force. … Maybe she’d wait a bit before restocking.

 

Hulk was angry.

Ross wasn’t supposed to attack Banner when he was with Friend!!

That’s why Thor had sent him with Friend! So there was no fighting!!

He had shot them with that stupid sleep dart that didn’t work on him, but Banner had tried to stop Hulk from taking over. If he’d waited much longer they’d have fallen asleep and who knows what Ross might have done to Banner!!  

Or to Hulk!!!

Stupid Banner.

Hulk came to full consciousness and control surrounded entirely by Ross’ men. And their tanks.

And he was mad.

But he waited.

He knew what happened when he fought against so many people, there was a lot of damage he did that was bad.

The other Avengers would get angry with him if he started another fight, and they might punish Banner for it. The Accords were for that reason. Hulk was sure if it.

At least, what he understood of them.

Ross wanted to control them again!

But he had to keep calm. Hulk was calm.

Hulk was actually really angry, like raging fire, but he forced himself to control that. Keep Calm.

Hulk on.

Friend was next to him, but Hulk did not want her hurt. His natural instincts were to push her behind him, but she’d get mad at that.

Friend would rather fight after all. That’s why they were friends.

There was a loud speaker.

“SURRENDER PEACEFULLY DOCTOR BANNER. WE DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU.”

“No Banner!! Only Hulk!!!”

“Who in Hela’s name are you people?? What are you doing?” Friend was not worried. But she was confused. She hadn’t been there when Ross came. Lucky.

But she was not worried.

So Hulk shouldn’t be either.

“YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED-“

“No Authorized!!! Hulk is Hulk!”

Hulk fought off the urge to throw the tank at the bright lights they were shining in his eyes, and the loud and grating sound of the loud speaker. He had to be good though, at least for Banner’s sake.

“Hulk not bad! Leave Hulk alone!!”

“Listen, I don’t know if you guys are trying to get killed or something, but you have five minutes before our king figures out somethings wrong and you have three not happy Revengers instead of the two you’ve got.”

The man put the loud speaker down, “What the hell’s a Revenger?”

The voices increased. There was shouting. mumbling.

“What? Don’t Midgardians get news on this planet?”

Hulk tried keeping calm.

He really tried.

“Who the hell is this chick?”

The loud speaker came back “LADY, I NEED YOU TO STEP AWAY FROM THE HULK. IT IS NOT SAFE. I REPEAT. STEP AWAY FROM THE-“

“Like Hell I will!”

But Friend drew her sword and charged.

Hulk was back up.

  


“Cap, the news.” Steve heard Sam call him into the living room. He’d been expecting another broadcasting about the Accords, or hell, about Bucky.

He wasn’t expecting a news story about Hulk and a random woman attacking an entire military force not even a twenty minute walk from Tony’s compound.

“What the hell? Why are they attacking Hulk?”

Buck looked at him weirdly from the couch, “it sure looks to me like he’s the one attacking them”

Sam shook his head. “Nah, they had to have sent those guys out at him. It’s not like Banner is gonna seek out a fight right? And there’s no military base that close to there either”

Bucky only looked more confused, “Who picks a fight with the Hulk?”

Steve looked back at the screen, “I can name at least one person, if you can call him that.”

Sam nodded, “Ross is making his move. And it’s not against us”

 

Tony was exhausted already. Steve was a fugitive. So were half of the Avengers. He felt like he’d lost a custody battle in a messy divorce and that wasn’t even the worst of what was on his plate today.

Ross had attacked Bruce. In the middle of town!

Tony couldn’t even suit up to help his friend either, since he was technically working for the guy that was after him in the first place! Aaaaggggggggghhhh

What was it Steve had said? He didn’t trust the politics of it?

Tony had never wished more that he had listened.

“Stop thinking this is a problem you can solve” Natasha interrupted his thoughts and switched the tv off.

“What? I know this isn’t a problem I can solve.”

Natasha quirked a brow, “oh? Is that why you’re sitting here blaming yourself?”

“Oh come on Nat! You’re telling me you don’t feel like shit seeing that? You know damn well they attacked him first but all the media coverage has is Hulk on another rampage.”

Natasha sighed, she curled up further on the couch before deciding against that and sitting normally once more.

“I do. Ross knows that he can’t fully control Hulk in a situation like that, so he does what he can to try justifying his orders and actions to the people. That doesn’t, however, take away from the Hulk’s actions. He attacked them.”

Tony paced the room, steps in line with the ticking of his watch to help ground him.

“But Nat, you haven’t seen him. Hulk isn’t like that anymore! I’ve had full, civilized conversations with him since they came back to earth.”

Nat shrugged, “maybe you don’t pose a threat? Maybe he-“

She didn’t get to finish before Vision entered the room and interrupted her.

“Perhaps, if I may be so bold, this may shed some light in the situation.” He posed, turning the TV back on, “Friday, would you be so kind as to play the video I found earlier?”

“Of course”

A video started to play, one that looked much like the other videos that had been playing in the news earlier. But with a shocking difference.

“He’s not attacking them.”

Natasha sounded surprised, like a part of her life she had always taken for granted as fact had changed irredeemably.

“It appears he tries to reason with them. It isn’t, if you pay attention, until after his companion attacks that he himself joins in.”

“That shows remarkable restraint”

“I told you Nat, he’s different now. Friday, can you get a close up in who’s with him?”

“Certainly Boss,” Friday replied as the screen zoomed in on her.

“I know her.” Tony said as he flipped open his phone.

“You do?”

“She’s an Asgardian. One of Thor’s friends I think I know how I can smooth this over. I’m gonna call Thor, Nat can you get a press conference ready? Vision, can you get me a meeting with Ross? For an hour ago? Great, thanks!”

And Tony left the room just as Vision replied,

“You do know we aren’t your secretaries?”

The door slammed.

  


Not even three hours after Thor had received a frankly startling call Stark, he was sitting in a room with Ross. Again.

Thor would have already left if it wasn’t for the news that had been apparently playing non-stop about Hulk going on a so-called rampage earlier that day. Stark had called to ask a favor, he needed to talk to Ross, focus on the angle that Asgardians had a different cultural understanding and explain that “the woman with Hulk took this as a challenge to duel and Hulk joined in under that shared assumption”.

And while Thor would normally not mind being diplomatic and soothing the ruffled feathers of his allies, he felt sick sitting across from a man who had attacked Banner and expected an apology from him.

Val wasn’t thrilled either, and nor was anyone else. Loki has offered to fix the whole mess himself when the call first came and Thor had been close to contemplating letting him with Heimdall had shook his head and dragged Loki away.

Moments later Val and Hulk had shown up, and it was clear that Stark had not been exaggerating the scale of their battle.

“So, King Thor,” Ross seemed to spit out his name, as if the title offended him, “is that your official statement?”

Thor met Stark’s eyes. The poor man looked exhausted, then again, he hadn’t looked otherwise since Thor had arrived on Earth over a month ago. Romanoff was here as well, standing by the door.

“Val?” Thor turned to his companion, “is that what happened?” He asked, his tone full and bored.

“Yep”

Ross grit his teeth.

“Though I’m not sure why there was a sudden military presence in our way to the library unless it was a challenge”

“It was an attempt to bring in Banner so that we could talk about the Accords, as I’ve explained.”

Thor stood.

“And as I’ve explained, you do not talk to any of my people, Banner included. You talk to me, next time let us avoid the casualties shall we?”

Val stood as well and Tony followed suit, albeit more awkwardly as he had an untold amount of paperwork with him.

“We will be leaving now.”

And they did, but not without Tony catching them in the hall outside the room.

“Thank you for doing this Thor. I’ll be honest, it’s not perfect, but I had to think of something to tell the people to keep them from turning against Hulk.”

“Tell them he is a great warrior, hounded by those in his past that see him as a monster.” Thor said, clasping a hand in his friend’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I kinda meant something that would get through the sensors and not get me fired.”

Thor laughed, “you know Stark? I liked you more when you didn’t follow the rules”

Stark sighed “Yeah… yeah.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know what you’re thinking, we’re really getting into the plot now! Oh boy oh boy! But I counter, are we?


	9. Don’t Start a Fight You’ll Lose

Tony found himself secured in Thor’s presence earlier, confident that Ross’ fear of the Asgardian would halt his more obnoxious personality traits. Like the one he was displaying as Tony re-entered the room.

That scowl reminded him of his father, something about the perfect concoction of scorn, disappointment, and the imagery of a man holding himself back from reacting violently. Tony felt his migraine getting worse, hopefully this was almost over, and he can get back to doing what he wanted to be doing. 

Which was literally  _anything_ that wasn’t this.

“So, is that your idea of handling this Stark? Giving Asgardians free reign? Letting that monster terrorize my people?”

Tony blinked, and then shared a look with Nat across the room. He took a deep breath and stood behind the chair opposite Ross, the one Thor had been seated at earlier.

”No, sir. If you remember, the United Nations decided to give the Asgardians asylum on Earth. Which means you have no power over their literal King or any of his subjects, as you are an American Secretary. Not king of the Planet. Thor out ranks you there.”

”I don’t want your sass Stark-“

Natasha finally cut in, “Sir, we have video evidence showing that two Asgardians were abruptly accosted by a large, American military force. Stark saved your ass here by getting Thor to take partial blame.”

Tony smiled, at least someone was in his side... He thinks. It’s a little harder to tell with Nat, but he trusted her to do what she thought was right. Which was fortunately siding with him, and it helped Tony feel less alone as his world crumbled around him.

”Bull shit. Everyone in this room knows Banner is no Asgardian. He’s from Earth. Born and bred an American citizen and as a threat, he is under my Jurisdiction”

”Thor doesn’t agree,” She argued.

”Thor is a publicity stunt with a new haircut who doesn’t know how to work a military, much less a country”

”Thor? Is a 1500 year old Demi-god who could kill everyone in this room right now without blinking and the thing that stops him is his general affability and his affection for humanity. Do you wanna be the one to test that?”

The men behind Ross finally broke their silence, murmuring at Natasha’s words. Mulling over the threat.

Ross wasn’t swayed.

”Even more of a reason to take a weapon like Banner away from him”

This meeting was going to take forever wasn’t it?

 

Loki was with Heimdall when Thor returned, agitated and with an equally agitated Valkyrie in tow. Loki almost disappeared from the room the second they entered, but stilled when Heimdall shot him _that_ look. The scary one.

 

“Heimdall, Loki. How is Hulk? Has he calmed down?”

Heimdall nodded, “He is in the large theatre room, watching one of those painted movies with Agnar.” Val took that as a cue to rejoin her friend, the two of them seemed to like those movies. Loki never really paid enough attention to Agnar to know his tastes however, and that was probably not going to change quite frankly.

“they should finish soon, my King, he seemed very agitated earlier. Perhaps you can speak with him?”

Thor shook his head, he looked frustrated in a way that made Loki uneasy. It wasn’t that Loki hadn’t seen Thor at this level of frustration before, he certainly had. But it was different when he was the one Thor was frustrated, because then he was in control of the situation. Loki hasn’t felt in control for some time now.

“Heimdall, I am worried that my frustration will only magnify any anger or frustration of his own. If I am to speak with him, it will have to be when at least one of us has a calm head.”

Thor was still talking but Loki had stopped listening. Val was sneaking away slowly in a way that was so smooth that Loki doubted anyone had even noticed her now half-way across the room. Now that was an idea, Loki was about to try a similar maneuver himself. But as he took his first, small, subtle step a sharp and powerful sword had suddenly found itself next to his foot.

Damn this man.

Thor hadn’t even noticed, he simply continued to converse with Heimdall about what to do next for a moment before shaking his head and saying he was going to retire. Good, that meant Loki was free, or it would have if Heimdall wasn’t absolutely giving him the _you’re his brother go see if he’s okay_ head tilt. Not to be confused, of course, with the much more menacing _or else_ head tilt that came shortly after.

It’s not like Loki had plans anyways, besides he’d been meaning to get more details on who exactly this boogie-man Ross was that had their resident Hulk so thrown off his game.

So, at a subtle nudge from Heimdall, Loki made his way after his brother. If he turned invisible, and made it so that his brother was unaware of his presence until they both entered his quarters and Loki waited a solid beat before turning visible and shouting MBLEHH!!! Well he was the god of mischief after all.

“Loki! You are going to be the death of me! You- you snake!”

Loki laughed and slicked back his hair, “if only, brother, now I have been meaning to ask you about these _Accords_ that have you oh so troubled. No one tells _me_ anything”

Thor glared at him, before rolling his eyes and sitting in one of the rooms chairs.

Thor’s quarters were the largest, naturally, as he was the King now, and they were currently standing in his sitting room. It was homely and warm colored, Stark had it decorated to suit his image of Thor no doubt. What with all the gold and deep reds. Then again, perhaps that was simply Stark’s aesthetic in general.

“Of course no one tells you anything brother, trust is a back and forth. You never tell anyone anything, and hoard secrets like a, like an animal that hoards things.”

“If I tell you a secret will you tell me what’s got everyone so agitated? I think Heimdall just enjoys that I don’t know.” Loki scowled, “petty bastard that he is”

Thor smiled.

“Come now you first.”

“There’s this man named Ross-“

“Ah yes, he’s after Banner right?”

“So you do know”

Loki rolled his eyes and laid on the couch opposite his brother, and taking out a dagger to fiddle with as they spoke. “Me and Banner talk some times”

Thor’s eyebrow rose and he leaned back into his chair, “do you now?”

“Focus now. What is it about This midgardian that is so terrifying?”

“Oh no. No no no no no, he’s not _terrifying”_ Thor laughed, and shook his head, “I mean, you’ve met him! Would you be scared?”

“... That’s just it, brother, I _haven’t_ met him. Remember?”

“Oh. Right.”

Loki contemplated the many uses of his dagger… it wasn’t worth it, Heimdall was likely watching.

Another time then.

“Fine, forget about the midgardian, what are these Accords then?”

“Well you see, that’s just it, they’re intertwined. Like two bad things made worse with each other”

This was going to take forever.

 

Heimdall was keeping an eye on Odin’s boys, but only one at the moment. He trusted them to handle themselves, though, he did still keep an eye upon them.

However, he had another troubled soul to speak with at this moment. One that was important to all of them.

“Banner, are you present?” He said, knocking on his chamber door.

“Uh Yeah! Just give me, hold on one second okay?”

Heimdall waited patiently, Thor was telling Loki about the Midgardian Ross’ visit previous. Loki was rolling his eyes at his drastic exaggerations. The door opened to reveal a slightly flustered Banner who looked to be frantically putting a shirt on.

“Sorry about that, I only just woke… up? Can I call it that? Uh yeah. So what’s up man?”

Heimdall smiled, “I wanted to speak with you, for a moment. If you did not mind”

Banner looked surprised, but then he smiled, soft and unsure.

“Of course, come on in.”

He entered the room at that invitation, and looked around. Hulk had been here shortly before, and Heimdall had waited until Banner was conscious before approaching to speak with him.

Hulk was a good man, and honest with his emotions, but Heimdall was more interested now in specific details of Banner’s past. He hoped that with Banner’s help they would be able to find this Ross’ motivations. And in that way be able to navigate the intertwined political web involved.

“How are you Banner?”

“Me? I’m good? Yeah, can’t complain really. I was kinda expecting more uh, angry glares at least since we got into that big fight and stuff.”

“No Asgardian would fault you a fight that has been picked in such a way”

Banner shrugged, and rubbed at his neck.

“Yeah. Hulk appreciates that, it’s certainly, well it’s very different from our time on earth.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Appreciate that?”

Heimdall smilied, Banner had started their long journey thinking mostly of his own consciousness, and constantly worried about losing himself to Hulk. However, when it was discovered that Hulk shared his fears they had bonded, and grown closer.

Eventually the two had become protective of each other, and had eventually found peace with their presence in each other’s lives. It was unfortunate, but they seemed to once again found themselves in miscommunication.

Loki had thrown a dagger at his brother’s head, they were finally talking about the rules of the Accords. Loki was likely unhappy with possibly being restricted, and was certainly unhappy with the indignity of the situation.

“Yeah, I appreciate it Heimdall. Thank you”

“How is our green friend?” Heimdall asked, and eliciting a shrug from his companion.

“He’s fine, he was with Val earlier. I think they watched a movie? Either way he’s calmed down.” He chuckled, “then again, he’d have to be if I’m here.”

Heimdall debated whether to bring up into the open what was clearly on both of their minds. Banner looked exhausted and stressed, he was likely holding everything in. Heimdall made his decision.

“You are worried about these midgardian politics. They bring you great stress.”

“Yeah, I mean, of course they do! I’m midgardian remember??”

Heimdall held up a hand, calmly, “you are also an Asgardian now. Do not forget that.”

Banner’s face started turning red and his voice came out softly, in almost a whisper. “Yeah, Thor said that’s the angle we’re going for in the negotiations right now. It’s uh, really quite flattering.” But then he looked up, “But it’s not like I’m a... Well you know. I’m not a real Asgardian or anything.”

Ah, so that is one insecurity that must be laid to rest. Perhaps…

“Everyone that lived on that ship is an Asgardian. Do you deny that? The refugees from Sakaar and those of us left from the destruction of our own planet. And you. We are each Asgardian in our entirety as accepted by our king.”

There was water balancing delicately in the corners of Banners eyes, but he shook his head.

“No, Heimdall. I don’t deny that. But-“

“Do you think prince Loki less Asgardian though he was born on a different planet?”

“What? No! Of course not-“

“Then perhaps, it is best you see that you are yourself among us”

“You’re right Heimdall, I guess that’s something I can learn from Hulk as well huh?”

“Ah yes, there is one more thing, I understand you care for him, but Hulk does not need your protection-“

“Wh-“ Heimdall held up his hand once again.

“I was not finished. He does not need your protection any more than you need his. I hope one day you can fight with each other and not for the other.”

Heimdall stood and made his way back out to the hall, “good night doctor Banner. I wish you sweet dreams of glorious battle, or perhaps, of a certain king instead?”

He smiled, “good night Heimdall”

 

Now he had to stop a particular mischievous prince from giving dating advice to his brother, the last thing he needed was the headache that came with that. And quite honestly, Banner deserved better than whatever it is Loki has planned to ruin a possible date with.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! Plot next chapter, I promise.


	10. Let’s get moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here goes. The story is gonna start moving from here on out, on the romance side too! So let’s have fun!

Thaddeus E Ross was tired of dealing with the Avengers, these self-proclaimed heroes wouldn’t know discipline if it bit them in the ass!

His meeting with Stark was a mistake, he had assumed the man would see reason and agree with Ross like he had the accords. But he had not. He spent the entire meeting arguing that Ross didn’t even have a leg to stand on, because of the preposterous fact that the _alien king_ had decided he was- was also an alien?? And that made him immune somehow to American laws?

Ross was done letting Banner run around with no control. The Hulk can be used, he knows it can. It just has to be ...controlled.

And Ross knows exactly what to do to get that control.

 

Tony had made the call. It was a call that he’d made many times in his past with ease and often one that he considered to be one of the best parts of his day. But recently he had been unable to make it at all due to the restraints he felt himself under. And well, the arguments and stuff.

Okay it was mostly the arguments.

“You called?” Steve Rogers walked into the room, his half of the Avengers following behind him. That was a good sign, it meant he still trusted Tony not to betray him or lead him into a trap.

“Yeah Spangles, I called.” It was an emergency line, Avengers Assemble. They needed to talk. And it needed to be all of them, not just Steve and Tony.

“Is everyone here?” He asked, looking around the room. It was at the compound, a safe place for everyone since Thor and his people occupied it and the UN had no jurisdiction.

Steve looked around too, “we’re missing a couple”

Tony just shook his head. The room was quiet, almost like it was just him and Steve and it hurt to feel his family so polarized. Everyone chose a side, it was his job to change that. If he could.

At least for Bruce’s sake if nothing else.

“Thor’s coming later, Bruce is… he’s not coming. This isn’t about the Accords Steve- well, I guess if you squint it actually kinda is? But it’s not. Not really.”

“Then why did you call us here?” Clint asked, finally breaking the imposed silence on everyone else.

Natasha answered, “Ross tried something with Hulk the other day, I’m sure you saw the news.”

Sam nodded, “We figured he was the one that started that, didn’t have much proof though,”

She smiled, “We don’t either, other than Valkyrie and Hulk themselves telling us what happened that day”

“Oh?” Sam lifted an eyebrow, “care to share? How did Ross force a Hulk out?”

“It seemed to be a large tranquilizer, shot into his neck with the intent to incapacitate him before he was able to transform. It is fortunate that it was unsuccessful or our friend Mr Secretary would have Dr Banner exactly where he wants him. Wherever that is.” Vision explained, pulling up a video that showed the moment, and enhancing it to show the tranq hitting home.

“So that’s why we’re here Tony? You want us to help out with this? No offense, but we’re on a mission of our own right now. An important one”

“What? Protecting your boyfriend?” a particularly young voice chimes in from the back.

“Kid! Seriously. I brought you here because it’s important. Be polite.”

“Sorry Mr Stark.”

Tony shook his head. “I didn’t actually bring you here to interrupt your mission. I promise. We can duke it out, have a big battle in an airport parking lot, etc.. etc… But that’s not why we are here right now.”

“We’re here to babysit. I’m not psychic, just taking a guess”

“Sam, don’t get into a fight with the literal child.”

“Hey!”

“Guys. Seriously.” Steve’s disappointment was a strong tool, and he used it sparingly. But damned if it didn’t work when he did.

The room was quiet and he gestured back to Tony, “you don’t want to stop us anymore. What is it you need then? You didn’t call us all here for playground fights and insults.”

“No. I want to call a truce,” he took a deep breath, it wasn’t going to be easy to admit this, but his pride was secondary, and frankly useless so here goes, “You guys are right-

“Ha! Tony Stark admits defeat, wha-“

“Clint, seriously not the time”

“Sorry Cap”

Tony tried not to roll his eyes. He did. Just not very hard.

“As I was saying, you guys are right, but it doesn’t matter because we can’t all act as vigilantes if we want to be able to do what we do without literally every government getting in our way”

Tony waited for another interruption, someone to say _well so? Isn’t that better than being a show pony for the UN?_ But it didn’t come, so he continued.

“So I have an idea. Your group has made it pretty clear that you aren’t going to sign the accords, and you’re content with your very own version of vigilante-esc avenging.”

There were a few nods, a few shrugs, Nat rolled her eyes.

“And, on the other hand,” Tony waved his hand towards whoever was behind him, “we’ve made it very clear that we are willing to do whatever we’re told even if it means… well fighting friends for one.”

He met Steve’s eyes, they were as weirdly blue and sincere as always. He felt exposed all of a sudden, and he hesitated.

“What’s the plan then Tony? I know you have one, or we wouldn’t be here”

“Ha, yeah.” He swallowed, his throat was dry, “There’s no reason we can’t still work together. Have two teams, and share resources without Ross knowing. We can have a team for official missions, the face of the Avengers so to say. And a strike team that hits what we can’t. An unofficial team working under the UNs nose”

“And you’d be willing to do that?” Steve asked “share resources?”

“Well, yeah? I’m offering aren’t I?”

“He meant, what about Barnes? There’s a reason we didn’t bring him you know,” Sam asked.

Tony sighed, “yeah, I uh, looked into that actually. Nat?”

Natasha stepped forward, “we have proof Barnes was set up, and we know why. We’re doing what we can to get him exonerated of the charged, but like all thing it will take time.” She smirked as Cap’s eyes widened in surprise at the news, “It might go faster if we work together to catch the man responsible though. So, what do you say Cap?”

Steve looked around at his crew, most seemed to nod, Wanda looked unsure, but then she looked over at Vision and made up her mind. There was a guy Tony didn’t recognize, he just looked excited to be there, which meant it was their Peter basically. Since Tony could practically feel the kid vibrating next to him, but he was a hero too. And he had powers that Tony had no doubt Ross would love to get his hands on, which was why he needed to know what was happening just like everyone else.

Besides, Tony wanted to keep an eye on him, who knows what trouble that kid would get into on his own.

“Mr Stark this is so cool, I feel like a member of- like a secret spy organization. Like in those movies, have you seen mission impossible? It’s where they get a group of-“

“Kid, come on, really?” Rhodes bumped his shoulder, “we were kinda going for the silent treatment here, you know, intimidation factor?”

“Sorry” he looked kinda like a kicked puppy, damn kid was too cute.

Steve laughed, “you know Tony? I think you’ve got a deal.”

He smiled, soft and hopeful, maybe he could have his family back after all.

 

Thor had been called to Stark’s meeting room, he had said it was important so Thor found himself wondering exactly what the meeting would be for. And who would be there.

He opened the door, careful to control his strength and keep it on its hinges. “Stark, I am-“

Thor’s words halted as he looked in at the entirely packed conference room. That answered at least one question, apparently _everyone_ was there.

“Well hello friends, to what do I owe this honor?”

“Talking politics Thor, feel free to join us. It’s uh, well, there’s a lot actually. But we need to talk about Ross.”

 

They had a plan now. At least, they had an idea of a plan that they could work on trying to do.

It mainly involved staying vigilant for whatever it is that Ross was planning next, and something about a Midgardian  King and some issue with super soldiers.

It was all enough to give him a headache, but what was important, was that everyone was willing to help them against this Ross problem.

Thor was currently walking his way back towards the main hall of the compound after the rest of the Avengers had left. Some more in secret than others.

“So brother, have fun with the other kids in your little club?”

Thor laughed, “come now Loki, you can’t be jealous that I’m friends with them, when you _did_ try to kill them before”

Loki rolled his eyes, “none of them died, now did they?”

Thor just shook his head, Loki was after something, and it likely didn’t have anything to do with the Avengers.

“What do you want Loki?”

“... well, I was wondering if you knew where-“

“I’m not telling you where Banner hid his cookie jar”

“Tch” Loki grumbled, “I don’t even know why I try”

They entered the common room, it had a few people sitting about and talking, Korg was in the corner with some of the other refugees. Heimdall greeted them as they entered,

“Hello my King, my Prince”

“Do you have to rub it in every time?” Loki sighed, making a B-line for the bar in the corner. Val was there as well, but she was always there.

“How was the meeting?”

“You know exactly how it went Heimdall, you were watching weren’t you?”

Heimdall turned to look at Loki, and then back to him, “despite what you may believe, I do not spend all of my time watching after the two of you”

Thor turned to his old friend in surprise, “truly? You were not watching?”

“I did not say that”

He smiled. “Do you think we can keep this up? Will this Ross continue going after Banner?”

“I think enough strong people care deeply about him, that should this midgardian try to harm him, he will feel the ice of Hel”

“Ooh we talking about my brothers boy-crush on Doctor Banner?” Loki slipped back into the conversation, holding a martini in one hand.

Thor felt his face go red. “Wh- what? I don’t have, there is not- what’s a boy-crush?”

“It’s that funny feeling you get when you look at Banner, you know the one” Loki smirked, dancing away as Thor made to kick him in the shin.

“I.do. Not. get a funny feeling around Banner, and- and you couldn’t prove it if I did!”

Heimdall snorted.

“Whose side are you on?”

“The side of the truth, my King”

Thor was mortified, he had never felt so completely embarrassed. Was it so hard to keep a simple thing like his feelings for Banner a secret? Was that truly too much to ask?

“Come now Brother, maybe we can help!”

Apparently it was, with a brother like his.

“The last time you tried to give me dating advice I ended up in a wedding dress!”

Loki rolled his eyes, “that wasn’t dating advice, I was trying to help you get Mjolnir back. Or were _you_ going to ask Freya to get it for you”

That was a fair enough point.

“Look, who ended up in a slave chair on Sakaar, and who didn't?” Loki said, pointing at Thor, and then himself, “I didn’t. I think I know what I’m talking about”

“Perhaps we can listen to him, my King, he is after all, the mother of how many dangerous monsters?”

Loki bristled, “very funny, all of my children are angels and you know it.”

“Oh? And here I thought they were related to you” Thor dodged the dagger that was sent his way, but walked right into another one he hadn’t seen. Ahh, good ole Loki, Thor smiled, I hope you never change.

Loki glares at him, drawing blood always did wonders to help with his temper and such. If only it didn’t hurt, it would be the perfect way to get him to act rationally. Then again, it likely wouldn’t work if it didn’t hurt. So there was that.

“I simply offered my expertise” Loki said, before turning to walk away, “it’s not my fault you’ve never needed to seduce someone before you big, muscle bound oaf.”

He stalked out of the room, before returning shortly after, sending another glare his brother's way, and strutting to the bar to get a new martini. Then he turned in his heel once more, and after throwing yet another glare back at them, he walked out of the room.

“He means well”

“That he does my King” Heimdall responded, respectfully. “However, should it be necessary, I can keep him busy tomorrow if you would like?”


	11. Coffee Date and a Show?

“You know, I just wanna say thanks, for, uh, for taking me out like this.” Bruce said to his companion, over a cup of warm coffee. “It’s nice to get out, and I feel less nervous knowing that if anything happens, I’ve got a literal _god_ in my corner… So, uh yeah, thanks.”

“‘Tis not a problem,” Thor smiled, bright and warmer than even the coffee Bruce currently held in his hands, “It would be a shame if I was to miss the view I have now, of the rising sun and a beautiful man caught in its rays.”

Bruce felt his entire face warm, and he ducked his head to avoid eye contact before he lost any and all self control around the other man. Thor’s demeanor showed absolutely no shame however, and instead was reminiscent of a golden retriever wagging its tail in anticipation of a treat. Bruce didn’t want to think about how _he_ might just be that treat, his self control was limited as it was.

“Thor, you can’t just say stuff like that to a guy.” Bruce said into his coffee, “Unless you want me to turn completely red permanently or something”

“It is a good color on you” Thor laughed, drinking his own iced vanilla latte.

“And here I was thinking you liked green.” Bruce chuckled as well, he found himself getting lost in Thor’s eyes. He’d noticed, in the past few weeks since they had arrived on Earth, that Thor had become increasingly more playful and flirtatious around him. Of course, it wasn’t that Bruce didn’t appreciate it, he most certainly did, but he couldn’t help but feel that it was less to do with Thor having a genuine interest in him, and more to do with Thor being a good friend and trying to get his mind off of the politics of the accords that had been weighing down on his mind since they arrived.

“I cannot like both? I find myself having grand amounts of affection for either side of you my friend”

This was the problem, Thor was just 100% too damn perfect and the possibility of him being genuine was too good to be true. But… Thor was also one of the few things that Bruce has noticed is nothing but entirely true. True to his principles, true to his friends, true to his people, Wonder Woman herself could wrap him in her lasso and nothing about him would change.

That’s why Bruce was trying to believe that _this_ might be true as well. That someone as perfect as Thor could be serious about him (and Hulk!), despite everything his previous experiences were telling him. The fact that his trust in Thor was stronger than his own self-loathing was something that still surprised Bruce. And something that he found himself appreciating as he once again lost himself in Thor’s eyes… well eye. Singular.

“Though I do admit a hulk sized human would likely be easier to best in a fight, as they would lack the experience Hulk has against me specifically and his ability to be mostly invulnerable” Thor continued, keeping the conversation going even if the topic had changed. Thankfully, Bruce wasn’t sure how much flirting his heart could continue taking at this point.

“That makes sense though,” he took another sip of his coffee, “Hulk was more or less created in a nuclear explosion. There isn’t much that’s more dangerous fundamentally than that.”

Thor frowned, “I survived a direct blast from a star before”

Bruce found himself blinking, “Really? You have?”

“Well… no. But,” Thor held up his latte and pointed it at his companion, “I could. I think”

Bruce chuckled, _of course_ , “Let’s not go out of our way to test that theory okay?”

Thor’s expression softened, “as you say, it is likely a foolish gamble afterall”

“See? Just leave the dangerous stuff to Hulk, he’ll handle it”

Bruce laughed at the insulted, incredulous expression Thor made, until he felt the sides of his stomach cramping and he laughed even harder simply because it had been so long since he had laughed like that. Thor had attempted to dispute what he had said, but was unable to get even a single word in edgewise due to Bruce’s laughter and instead found himself laughing along. Thor’s laugh was, of course, a full belly laugh that shook the empty chairs and tables around them, which was somehow hilarious to a laugh drunk Bruce, who found himself in terrible, awful, excruciating pain, as he desperately tried to stop his laughter if at least for the sake of his abs.

As the two’s laughter died off, Bruce was gasping in lungfuls of air and Thor was wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, neither had expected something like this when Thor had tentatively offered to take Bruce out for coffee in the morning. Then again, Bruce’s time with Thor was often marked by the unexpected and, quite frankly, the wonderful.

“You spilt your coffee,” Thor pointed at the empty coffee cup lying on the sidewalk beside his chair, a small brown puddle next to it.

“I didn’t like it anyways,” Bruce shrugged, “I think they put soy milk in it or something, people are always trying to get me to eat healthier. I think it’s the gray hair” he waved offhandedly at his own head.

“Yes,” Thor leaned forward, “I have noticed that your hair has been grayer lately, yet it seems to be at its strongest when you are emotionally stressed”

Bruce thought for a second, was that true? He never really noticed, only paying attention to the simple fact he was getting gray. He had assumed it was because he was getting older, but it wasn’t like he was getting creaky joints or a loss of hearing or sight, or any other signs that his body was degrading with age.

“Is it?”

“Well, that’s the theory Loki had anyways. Apparently you’re hair was much darker when we were still a year or so away from Midgard, and once you had settled in”

 _Huh, that makes sense, wait-_ “you talk about me with Loki?”

It was Thor’s turn to go red, the blush quickly painting his cheeks and ears, “uh well-”

“What do you talk about?” Thor’s blush only got deeper.

“Well, mostly I-” his explanation got cut off as a large green monster ran past their little cafe, leaving deep hoof-shaped cracks in the concrete.

Thor and Bruce exchanged a glance, “was that-?”

“It seemed to be-”

“Huh, do you think-?”

“Loki? Nah, it couldn’t have been something of his.”

Bruce glanced at his companion, suspicious, “how can you possibly be sure of that? It was green wasn’t it?”

“I just am”

“Uh huh,” but before Bruce could try and get anything more out of Thor-I-suck-at-lying- Odinson, a familiar face ran by.

Doctor Strange stopped, turned on his heel, and walked up to the two of them. “Banner? Thor?”

“Uh, yes doctor?” Banner responded.

“You didn’t happen to see a large minotaur walking past, destroying things like public property, and sidewalks and generally being a danger to society did you?”

“No, we did, he just walked past not even a moment before” Thor said, sipping on his drink and grateful for the distraction.

“I see,” Strange took a moment to pause and lifted his hands in what appeared to be a prayer motion to his lips, “and did you, by any chance, think to pursue said dangerous monster? The two of you being, _Avengers_ after all.”

“Well yes,” Bruce nodded his head, “but we’re on a coffee date.”

“And he didn’t seem that dangerous really,” Thor backed him up, “I’m sure you have it handled”

Strange seemed to nod again, his lips pinched thin, “I see-”

“Besides, if it’s Loki, he knows how to clean up after himself-”

“It’s not Loki, but Banner is correct in-”

“What do you mean it’s not Loki? Did you check?”

“Ladies, please. Get back to your coffee date, I can handle this, don’t bother to get up on my account or anything” Strange snarked before continuing his pursuit of the earlier monster.

“... I guess we kinda have to help now huh?”

  


Two hours later the trio were back at Strange’s home, watching as he locked away what was apparently an entire rainbow of monsters from the green Minotaur to the red Siren and the Purple Cyclops into what appeared to be a child’s coloring book.

“Sorry about that,” Strange said, offering the two of them a seat, “apparently a young child had colored a creature summoning book with crayons, and his father, a sorcerer, had tried to teach him the ill effects of tampering with magic by foolishly summoning all the creatures mentioned in _the Odyssey_ in full rainbow.”

“We’re always happy to help out a friend” Thor smiled and leaned back in his chair. It had been quite a workout to catch the different monsters, especially since Banner didn’t feel comfortable Hulking out in the middle of the city while the accords were still an issue.

“Yes, thank you.” Strange stared for a second at a place on the wall, just above and to the left of the couch his guests were sitting on. “Though I admit I was surprised when I saw you on a coffee date with the Hulk.”

Banner frowned.

“Ah, no. I was on a coffee date with Bruce Banner, me and Hulk aren’t planning on coffee until _next_ sunday.” Thor said, subtly correcting Strange in a friendly and optimistic manner that Banner doubted he would have temperment for.

But, “you’re going for coffee? I thought you were going to watch a movie together?” he asked, Thor understood that Banner tried not to spy on Hulk’s time awake. Apparently it helped him to feel more in control of his own conscious to know Banner wasn’t trying to pull the strings from the back of his mind or something.

“We were, but Hulk broke Stark’s ‘at home theatre system’, whatever that is, and he banned the two of us from that entire section of the compound.” It hadn’t really been their fault, the movie had a very frustrating ending and even Thor had found himself wanting to throw something at the large screen in front of him. Of course, Thor was thinking more like throwing the remote, or some popcorn, Hulk had thrown the row of connected chairs in front of them.

“Huh, that explains the exasperated looks I’ve been getting from him lately.”

“Yes, well we relocated. We’re going to have coffee on the roof now”

“The roof?”

“Yes, he says he misses the fresh air”

Bruce nodded, and then looked around. The two of them had been staying at Stark’s compound, surrounded by other Asgardians and safe from that Midgardian, Ross. Neither had felt comfortable leaving, and certainly not alone, but one could only hole themselves up so long away from the sun and the outside air and Thor was doing what he could to rectify that.

If part of that was asking Loki for tips on how to impress Banner… well, it wasn’t like anyone knew about that. Other than Loki, but that secret was embarrassing for the both of them, so it was likely safe. Well, Heimdall also probably knew, he was nosey after all, and it was part of his job to be ‘All-knowing’.

Thor noticed their host had left them alone to their conversation some time ago and was currently flipping through a number of spell books while flitting all over the sanctum, his cloak floating beside him instead of perched on his shoulders.

“Ah, here we go” he suddenly exclaimed before speaking a spell into existence. Interesting, Thor thought, his brother never needed to say anything to use his magic. Was that just a Midgard thing or-?

Thor’s thoughts were interrupted when a small green fly that had previously been on the wall suddenly glowed a bright light and Loki was there in its place, before falling from his position onto his face.

“So good of you to properly join us, your highness” Strange said as he walked back into the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter got completely out of hand I hope you at least enjoy it, I was just typing away, writing a cute and fluffy interlude before I started with the real plot... and when I was done I noticed it was like, twice as long as I intended it to be? whoops.


	12. A Day in The Life of a Doctor

The room spent a few minutes in tense, awkward silence as the occupants each allowed their minds to catch up with what had just happened, with the exception of Strange, who looked like a very smug cat that had caught a particularly nasty, green, canary.

“Loki?” Banner asked, confusion evident in his voice, “what are you doing here? Wait, is that why you knew the monster wasn’t him?” He turned to Thor, who was just as surprised as him.

“What? No. I thought he was-” Thor found himself trying to explain, but failing miserably at it.

Loki stood up and brushed himself off, “He thought I was with Heimdal, only natural since I was, until he told me to keep an eye on my brother and act as back up if needed.”

“Back up?” Strange looked confused, his cloak reattaching itself to him in a seemingly protective embrace, “for what? You certainly didn’t help with the monsters earlier”

Loki rolled his eyes and shifted from foot to foot, he clearly didn’t want to be there right now, and he certainly hadn’t wanted to be caught by the Midgardian wizard.

“Of course not, that was child’s play you didn’t need my help. I was there to run interference just incase a certain Human tried to show up while my brother was on his date. Heimdal didn’t want Banner to come back worse than when he left when the point of the outing was to help with his mental state” Loki shook his head, “not that I in particular was needed, someone with my abilities is wasted in such a menial and simple task-”

“Then why would you bother doing it?” Strange asked, “I don’t feel like it’s beyond your morals to lie”

It was Banner’s turn to shake his head, “nah man, it’s impossible to lie or keep secrets from that guy. I once tried to hide a jar of his favorite cookies from him by changing its hiding place, like, twenty times and he always cleaned it out within a day”

Loki nodded, “I tried something similar when I was younger, except I hid mine in extradimensional pockets I was sure he didn’t even know existed. He did though... he always did.”

“I still don’t understand,” Strange seemed to have trouble computing the interaction with what he likely expected of Loki, which couldn’t have been great. Loki was terrible at first impressions after all.

Thor did understand though, “He caught you sneaking Hulks after training snacks didn’t he?”

Loki’s silence was answer enough.

“What? Loki, dude! I made those for Hulk! I didn’t even know you liked coconut.”

Loki crossed his arms, “I don’t, it’s the principle of the thing”

Thor rolled his eyes, leave it to Loki to have principles about getting _into_ mischief at any given opportunity.

“So you weren’t doing anything…?” Strange motioned with his hands in a vague, indecipherable way.

“What?” Loki snarked, “I wasn’t trying to stab my brother? Commit fratricide?”

“Well were you?”

Loki glanced away and crossed his arms, “Not at the moment, no”

“How fortunate-”

There was a loud knock at the door.

“Weird,” The wizard made his way across the parlor to a looking glass that seemed to only show its images to him, “Wong doesn’t usually knock. And I wasn’t expecting guests.”

He mumbled an incantation and moved his hand over the smooth surface before his posture straightened and he stole a glance at the motley crew in his living room.

“I’m so sorry to cut this short,” he said, taking off his cloak and putting a ring of sorts on his finger, “but it appears I have a client, so if you don’t mind”

The wizard made a circular motion with his hands that had Loki almost diving across the room but it was too late. And Thor found himself falling through a portal with Loki and Banner and collapsing in a heap in front of Heimdal as it closed behind them.

“My king, I trust the date went well?”

 

Stephen Strange watched as his guests fell through his portal and closed it quickly behind them. He then gestured at his cloak to hide itself as he looked around once more. His abode appeared to be a normal, if not eccentrically decorated, home, and he had to hope that it would be enough. He didn’t have the time to properly hide any and all magical artifacts or books properly as whomever was at the door did not seem to be very patient. The knocking had grown louder, and was now punctured occasionally by someone practically leaning on his doorbell.

Except, he did know who was at his door. That was the problem, and that was why he had so quickly sent away his guests. Damnit, if only Wong was here, then they could do this intimidation bit where Wong opens the door, and Stephen waits in the parlor with the lights dimmed…

Ah well, eccentric, rich, loner it is.

He mussed his hair and clothes a bit on the way to the door, he mustn’t look too professional if he was going to pull this off. Eccentric loners weren’t known for being perfectly put together, despite how he preferred to present himself.

He took a deep breath as he got to the door, he was hopeful the man wasn’t even here for him and didn’t know anything about the Sorcerer's recent bout with a group of monsters, or his visit with the Avengers a few weeks ago. It had been a risk, but he’d weighed the risk of having a very dangerous god of mischief suddenly in town, against it. A mistake apparently, as Loki has shown himself to be thus far harmless under the watchful eye of this Heimdall character. He should send a fruit basket, or, if his memory serves him from the conversation prior, perhaps a basket of cookies would be better.

The knocking increased in sound, if Stephen didn’t know any better he would have been worried for his door, but his spells weren’t that weak.

He opened the door.

“It’s about damn time!” the man shouted as he was revealed to the sorcerer, “didn’t you hear us knocking?”

“I was upstairs, I’m afraid.” Stephen looked over the men, there were about half a dozen of them and they looked to be well-armed and well trained. Though, he doubted the guns had normal bullets in them. And in the front, face red as his knuckles no doubt were, was Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross. “Can I help you gentlemen?”

“Damn straight you can” Ross said, pushing his way into the sanctum, looking around viciously as his guards quickly came in after and started searching the building. Stephen had to force himself to hold back as they scoffed at powerful artifacts and opened doors that were not meant for them. He quickly spoke a simple spell under his breath, making sure that none of them had access to the more mystical side of his home. They were unwanted guests afterall, and the sanctum had certain ways of keeping intruders from the things that truly mattered.

He waited until Ross and his men were once again in his foyer before saying anything else, “find what you’re looking for gentlemen?”

Ross looked furious, “where the hell is he?”

At least he knew that this visit wasn’t about him, Stephen didn’t want to have to think of the headache inducing nonsense that would come from trying to put magic users throughout the world on some list like they had with their resident superheroes.

“Who?” Stephen did his best to act like he truly didn’t know, like he hadn’t sent exactly who they were looking for through a portal mere minutes before. Then again, he was never the best actor.

“Banner you asshole! We had eyes on him, we know he’s around here somewhere. Are you hiding him in some kind of freaky satanist dungeon?”

…

“What?” Stephen asked, genuinely trying to follow the man’s logic, “did you ask if I have a dungeon?”

“Isn’t that what you want people to think, with the witchy, occult looking stuff?” one of the other men asked, looking around.

“I don’t decorate for guests I don’t have I’m afraid. Not even, what was his name? This Banner you’re looking for?” Stephen pretended to scratch his head, “not many people share my interests.”

Ross scoffed and looked at his men, “none of you found even a trace of him?”

The group all shook their heads, of course they didn’t. Even if his guests had left something behind, those men never would have found it. They may not realize it, but they’d only looked at two pre-constructed rooms beyond the foyer, created with the intent of confusing those that barged unwanted into his home. That was one of his more clever moments, coming up with that.

“What’s your name?” Ross said, suddenly turning back to him.

“Doctor Stephen Strange.” he replied honestly, he didn’t doubt the resources of a pissed off Secretary of State and would prefer not to have him come back just to call him out on a bluff as simple as a fake name.

“I’ve heard of you,” he says, crossing his arms and finally looking around himself, “all the weird occult stuff because of that accident with your hands?”

Stephen internally rolled his eyes, _does everyone know his life story?_

“I thought that magic might prove an alternative to science” he tried, gambling a little with the truth.

He scoffed, a skeptic as Stephen had predicted, “yeah, maybe if it _existed_. Let’s go men, we’ve wasted enough daylight.”

Strange counted the men as they left, following their leader out the door and onto the street. He felt a weight fall off his shoulders as he closed the door behind them and thanked the Valar that he’d gotten away from the man that easily. He truly was an exhausting person, that Ross.

“We have guests?” Wong asked, walking through a portal with a latte in one hand and a small takeout bag in the other.

“Yes, did you get my lo-mein?” Stephen asked, Wong nodded and handed it to him before the two of them sat down to eat.

“Who was it?” Wong asked between bites of his cashew chicken.

“Thaddeus Ross,” Stephen answered, and at Wong’s questioning glance, began to explain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is actually part two of the previous chapter, don't worry, it'll get more exciting next chapter! Muahahahahahahaha
> 
> Also, little side note. If you like this story, please comment! Comments are what inspires me to keep writing! Even if it’s just like a thumbs up or something! Hell, if you don’t like it, you can tell me what I’m doing wrong! I have thick skin! I just want to hear from you guys, okay?
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter<3


	13. It Starts

“Sir, we’re ready for you”

“This better work,” Ross grumbled under his breath as he entered the communications room. He was surrounded by some of the best minds in the military, and they had come up with a plan. He just hoped that this one didn’t end like the last one.

“Trust us sir, we think you’ll like this.” He heard as his eyes noticed a stranger in the room,

“Who the hell are you?”

The stranger just smiled.

 

Sam had been right all along, he _was_ babysitting. Just not the kid like he had thought, rather he was babysitting the Hulk, who was apparently much more willing to have a full blown conversation that Sam had previously assumed was possible. Especially considering the conversation the Hulk was having was a complex, in-depth discussion of optimized fighting techniques with a literal Valkyrie. The only reason Sam wasn’t absolutely convinced he was dreaming was because while the subject matter may have been more conceptually complicated than he had assumed Hulk was capable of, the words themselves sounded more like:

“No, dumb move, Hulk like this better for block” with him moving in a straightforward blocking pattern that took little thought.

“That’s fine, I guess, but then I can hit you round back and use your own focus on a frontal attack against you” The woman said, not actually moving to show her example in the same way Hulk had, but instead doing vague and gestures with her drink.

“No, you behind Hulk, Hulk do this. But you in front of Hulk so Hulk do that!”

 She shook her head, “Nah, you wouldn’t have the same momentum, so I would have the advantage as you tried to switch from one block to the other and would have plenty of time to strike you in –“

Sam had eventually tuned them out, he had to. They’d been arguing about this for over an hour, turns out Hulk doesn’t actually do much defensive fighting, surprise, and she had taken it upon herself to teach him what she could to get him up to par on that.

Sam wondered if that even mattered if Hulk couldn’t even get hurt in the first place, “I mean, if he was made from a nuclear explosion, what can anything really do? Give him a paper-cut?” He muttered.

The Valkyrie looked back at him and took another drink from her flask. “You’re a human right?”

Sam nodded, he hadn’t exactly said it to be heard, but he also wasn’t the kinda guy to back down on what’s already been said so, “I’m an Avenger too. Just like the big guy”

She didn’t look impressed. Tough, that was a her problem, sorry not all Avengers were super powered or geniuses. He did his part. “There are more things to worry about than what you have experienced on Midgard. Hulk has gained a number of scars from fighting with no regard to his own safety, we are simply attempting to rectify that. On my King’s orders” she smiled “And because it’s fun”

Sam watched as she got up and grabbed a large training sword before gesturing at Hulk to join her in the center of the training room. They started fighting, implementing the new techniques that she had been teaching just moments before, and using force to show what would and would not work in a true match. He had to admit he was impressed, he had always assumed Thor was the only one who could go Mano-a-mano with the Hulk but maybe Asgardians in general were just, like, that.

This however lead him to question why he was even there in the first place, it wasn’t like they needed all that much help defending themselves. What was Ross gonna do? Drive in with an army at his command only to realize he’s up against at least four people that Sam had personally seen could take down an army alone?

Granted, he didn’t mind Banner’s company, there was a lot they had in common and they could talk shop at least for a little bit. But Bruce had been in a weird mood since he’d gotten back from the date he went on with Thor, and Hulk wasn’t Sam’s favorite person to talk to. Not because they didn’t get along, but more because they had a vastly different sense of humor, and Sam only had so many fly-suits he could go through in a week.

Tony was usually able to visit at least once a week, but at the moment him and Steve were half way around the world hunting down some guy that was apparently looking to wake up even more crazy super soldiers. Barnes had wanted to go with them, but he was under house arrest like Hulk, apparently anyone Ross was after needed 24/7 protection. At least Sam wasn’t in that rotation.

Then there was Thor, the only other person that was here that Sam actually knew, but he always gave Sam the feeling he was being messed with. Like, he knows Thor knows how to use an iPhone, he’s seen him take selfies with fans, and play apps and stuff on Bruce’s phone. But he acts like he doesn’t know what a phone call is! Wasn’t Asgardian technology supposed to be _more_ advanced-

Sam was interrupted from his thoughts when he suddenly noticed a very large, very green, projectile coming straight towards him. This was a bad day to forego the wings.  Man, when was it Rhodes’ shift?

 

“You know,” Stephen said to the empty space next to him, “It’s not nice to intrude on someone’s private property without invitation”

“I was checking on something”

There was a shimmer in the air as Loki, god of Mischief appeared before him. Stephen found himself immediately on guard, despite consciously telling himself there was no reason to be. What could Loki possibly due that wouldn’t have at least one of the Asgardians stopping him? It’s not like he’s done anything since he’s been on earth anyways. Stephen at least hoped that was the case, since the other option was that he _had_ been up to something and just hadn’t been caught yet.

“What are you looking at?” Loki glared, before turning around and strutting to the other room. Stephen didn’t make a move to stop him, but that’s because not even a full minute later he was falling once again into the foyer from a portal in the ceiling. “I Hate These Damn Things.”

“My house, my rules” Stephen smirked, feigning confidence, “So what were you looking for?”

Loki glared at him again and got back onto his feet, before throwing a dagger and dashing in another direction to another door. The daggers were scarily accurate, but not enchanted so they were simply deflected before clattering to the floor. Loki was headed for what seemed to be the door to the downstairs exhibition hall. Stephen let him go.

He even summoned himself a nice cup of tea from the kitchen, where Wong was, while he waited.

And Loki, once more, found himself falling on his face in the foyer.

“Give up yet?” He asked, taking a sip from his cup.

Loki mumbled something unpleasant and sat up again, throwing at least three more daggers in Stephen’s direction before rolling his eyes as each one missed and slouching back against the bookshelf he had landed near.

“Fine, _Midgardian_ , I’ll tell you. There was a spike of magical energy that came from your, frankly quite humble, abode and I was curious enough to stop by.”

“There’s always a spike of magic around here, that’s our _job_ in case you haven’t noticed”

“Obviously, I meant Asgardian magic, I have little to no interest in your human limitations and artifacts.” he rolled his eyes, “but a spike of Asgardian magic in a Midgardian Wizard’s home was just intriguing enough to catch my interest.”

Stephen’s mind halted. _Asgardian?_ They hadn’t worked with any Asgardian magic recently.

Loki took notice of his sudden change in demeanor, “What? So even _you_ don’t know what’s going on in your own home?” Stephen grimaced, but he was right.

“Follow me” He said as he went through a portal to the kitchen, he needed to talk to Wong and figure out if he knew what was going on.

“I’d rather not” he replied, but Stephen didn’t have time to argue with someone whom, he did not doubt, was constantly looking for an argument. Instead he had him forcibly dropped into the room as he himself entered.

Wong was there, making more tea. “You should warn me before stealing things from the kitchen,” he said as he noticed Stephen entering. He then looked at the pile of Loki on the floor, “and when we have guests”

“Sorry about that,” he said as Wong started making another cup, ever the gracious host. Loki also collected himself up off the floor, sending a sharp glare his way.

“You know, I would have followed eventually.”

“We don’t have that kind of time,” he turned back to Wong, “Have you been meddling with anything Asgardian recently?”

Wong didn’t look up from his tea, “No, but I did bring in a new artifact earlier today. I’ve yet to fully study it, it may have some ancient Asgardian magic weaved in somewhere.”

Loki physically pushed past him, “Can you show it to me?”

Wong handed him the cup of tea he had prepared before answering “I can, it is this way” he then turned around and walked out of the kitchen into the next room.

“What, no unnecessary portals?”

Stephen rolled his eyes, they followed Wong. He had stored the object in a case in the library on the second floor, it was an interesting trinket, an old wooden puzzle game. It had a strong magical energy to it that Stephen recognized but could not currently place.

“This isn’t it, do you have something else?” Wong shook his head “Listen, it was a sharp and sudden burst of energy. Almost like, like a signal of some kind. Here, hand it to me”

 _A signal_ , Stephen thought to himself, _of sudden Asgardian Magic that would peak Loki’s curiosity enough to… wait._

“Loki don’t touch-“ But it was too late, the second Loki touched a piece of the puzzle there was a blinding flash of magic and suddenly the three of them were no longer standing in the Sanctum.

“-that” Stephen finished lamely as the trio landed inside a small wooden room.

“So it was a trap” Loki said, completely unscathed and standing back up. “should have guessed that, I suppose”

Stephen groaned, “ugh, I should’ve known you bring nothing but trouble”

“I came here with the best of intentions,”

“You came here high on curiosity”

“well why don’t you figure a way out instead of just complaining all the time!”

“You know what, you’re right. Why don’t you get comfortable, relax, hell why don’t I just conjure you a pent house suite with a chocolate fountain while I do _All The Work_ ”

Loki scoffed, “Oh please, I’m not an idiot. I know chocolate fountains aren’t _real_ ”

Stephen felt like his brain had an error screen, and found himself frozen at the Asgardian’s words for was seemed like at least half an eternity. “Wha-“

But he was interrupted by a groan from the corner of the room. Shit. He’d been so distracted by Loki that he hadn’t even checked to make sure his _best friend_ landed okay.

“Wong, are you hurt?” he asked, rushing over.

“I’ll be fine, where are we?”

Stephen glanced at Loki, who shrugged, “We… we don’t know”

 

“My King,” Heimdall announced as he walked into the room, “There is an emergency”

Thor looked up from the stack of papers of international and refugee law he had been combing through for the past few hours. “What? Is it Banner? Did Ross do something?”

“No, your majesty, It’s your Brother.”

Thor felt his veins freeze and his heart stop, “Loki?”

“He’s in danger”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I have been very busy in my home life recently, but I should be able to get back to one to two updates a week, but that depends. Thank you for your patience and your comments! I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	14. Step One: Plan A

Bruce was in the Emergency Meeting room, where anyone in a group with a name ending in -vengers met in times of crisis. Well, anyone that was available in the compound at least. Thor had called the meeting when Heimdall came to him two hours ago with news of Loki going missing.

Hulk had been training with Val, but once Bruce had heard the words “Loki is in trouble” his own worry and concern for his friend, wow what a weird thought, had overpowered their shared form and Bruce had found himself stumbling along to the room before he even realized he was the one in control.

Val had followed, “He seems like the kind of person who is convinced he can take care of himself, but would be dead by now if he was actually left to his own devices” were her exact words. Sam had followed too, but that was his current assignment from Steve, keep an eye on Banner, don’t let Ross near him blah blah blah.

Thor had been in the room with Heimdal as he tried to explain what happened and Bruce wondered what had happened. What did Loki do this time? Was it even his fault?

Tho... if it was Loki’s fault Bruce sooo had something over him in their continuous game of “who pissed the aliens off on this planet first”. Not that this planet was alien... or .. uh well. Shit. What ever. Loki was in trouble, it was probably his fault, and Thor was worried, like usual. At least this will never change, he almost felt as if they were back in space, exploring and making their way to midg- Earth! -Earth- damnit! Wow he has been with them way too long.

Thor shot him a shy smile as he entered, then went back to his conversation with Heimdal.

Two hours later and they were still no closer to figuring out exactly what happened that had Heimdal worried in the first place.

 

“What do you mean he just disappeared??” Thor asked for possibly the thousandth time, “doesn’t he do that Constantly?”

“As I’ve said, your majesty, he is cloaked from my view.”

“But… but he’s _Loki_.” Thor almost sounded like he was begging, “Don’t you know all his tricks yet? It’s not like he can stay hidden that long!”

Sam was in the back of the room, banging the back of his head rhythmically against the wall he was leaning on, muttering to himself. “One day we fight Loki, the next day we babysit Loki, now we’ve _lost_ Loki-“

Val was the only one sitting down, she was sharpening her weapon, she didn’t look worried at a glance, but there was a subtle crease in her brow and she hadn’t touched her drink.

Bruce himself couldn’t sit down. His chest felt tight, and the room was warmer than he remembered it ever being, every word that Thor shouted, every thump of Sam’s head against the wall, the slice of Val’s sharpening tool, they only served to make time feel like it was slipping faster and faster away as Loki was in danger.

Loki was a friend, he was a part of the revengers, of this new family that Bruce had found himself a member of, and he was in danger while the rest of them were tied up in red tape and even Heimdal had lost sight of him!

“But _How_ Heimd-“

Bruce interrupted Thor before they could have another circular conversation that drove him into a further state of insanity. “Did someone else take him? Someone whose magic you’re not familiar with?”

Heimdal sighed and turned to Bruce, “yes”

Thor looked dumbstruck, “why didn’t you say that!” The three of them were quiet, Thor was waiting for an answer while Heimdal looked ready to mutiny. Then again, he almost always looked at least two minutes from treason at any given opportunity.

Sam looked alert instantly, and broke the silence himself “it’s that Earth wizard guy! Mister weird!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s Doctor Weird,” Thor corrected. “So he finally got the upper hand on Loki did he?” He looked hopeful, perhaps news that someone familiar was involved comforted him, that guy did seem to love his portals.

Heimdal did not share his hope, “he was last with two Midgardian wizards, one of which we are familiar with, but they are not the source of the magic that has hidden him from my sight” he sighed, he must have been trying to explain that for hours while Thor panic-questioned him. Bruce patted Thor’s shoulder comfortingly as his little hope died and he found himself worried for his brother once more.

Bruce, for his part, had no idea there were so many wizards on earth. Then again, did the scarlet witch count? She used magic, sort of.

But Bruce knew exactly how to cheer Thor back up, “then we know where to go to find him, follow his footsteps and he’ll be at the end of the trail right?”

Thor brightened and grabbed Bruce’s hands in his own, much larger ones, his blue eyes sparkling. “Yes! Of course, we’ll just have to go after Loki ourselves. This may be Earth, but it is just another planet, like any other we’ve been on since Asg- uh well, since Rag- you know since we left.”

Bruce smiled and Val nodded along as he spoke, The side of Heimdall’s face even twitched enough to almost be a smirk. Sam had a very, uh, different, reaction.

“Whoa hold on! This ain’t some other planet! This is my _home_ planet and I really don’t like that gleam in your guy’s collective eye!” Thor just kind of shrugged and Bruce fidgeted awkwardly, “and you-“ he pointed directly at Bruce “ain’t this your planet too?? You can’t just-“

“You’re acting like we’re planning to blow it up-“

Val went back to sharpening her blade, interrupting Bruce’s attempt at defending them with a particularly loud scrape, “I thought we were going to blow it up”

Sam just gestured at her with both arms “huh?”

Thor just laughed, Bruce had to admit, the tension from before had dissipated and everyone seemed ready for action.

“Okay, step one, find this Weird guy’s _abode_ ” Bruce started,

“Beat up the bad guy” Val continued,

“Save my brother!”

“And return home victorious.” Heimdall finished.

Everyone grinned and Bruce felt like they were back on the ship, traveling through space once again. It was a soft, warm feeling that filled his chest, accompanied by the thrum of excitement that he got when he looked into Thor’s eyes and saw adventure. He only hoped Hulk wouldn’t mind if Bruce took over for this particular mission.

“Man, I have Never felt more like a third- er fifth wheel before. I feel like I’m missing something here.” Sam joked, but it was clear he was just as excited to join their mission, finally some excitement to what he’d been complaining was a very boring assignment.

“Revengers Assemble!”

 

“Wait, we’ve been this way.” Wong stopped as they took another left.

“Oh?” Loki turned around to look at him, “what gave it away? The fact that we already disabled this trap? Or was it that there’s a puddle of my blood not ten feet from us from when a giANT AXE ALMOST CUT ME IN HALF!!!”

“Will you shut up!” Strange shouted, coming to a stop as well, they were both right, they had been this way before, but arguing and screaming at each other was never going to get them out of there in one piece.

“Okay, it’s human instinct to go left when faced with multiple choices of path. So, if the person who created this trap banked on human instinct, perhaps we need to just keep going right”

“And when that doesn’t work?” Loki snapped back, “And I die because for _some reason_ you keep making _me go first???”_

“You Asgardians are sturdier than we are, you are most likely to survive flesh wounds that would normally be fatal to a human being” Wong said in answer to a question Loki didn’t ask.

“That doesn’t mean it’s particularly enjoyable for me!” He turned back to Strange, “why don’t you just _portal_ us out. You seem quite found of those every other time I’ve been graced with your presence.”

“You sought me out remember?” Strange bit back.

“No,” Loki sounded petulant, like a spoiled child bargaining his way to an extra candy bar, “I sought out unfamiliar Asgardian Magic. You just happened to be in possession of that particular artifact”

“Actually I was the one-“

“I soooo do not care Wang”

“Wong”

“Whatever. All your Midgardian names sound the same any-“

“Whoah whoah WHOAH!” Strange was flailing his arms in a matter he was mostly used to only Banner displaying. “I’m sorry, how does Strange sound anything like Wong they don’t have any of the same letters.” Loki’s cheeks burned as his attempt at seeming indifferent backfired, “Wang isn’t even a name! It’s a euphemism for, well, I’m actually pretty sure you know _that_ one”

“I- Well- _you”_ Loki looked between the two Midgardians trapped with him, “gah!”

He headed right, strutting quickly to get away from the other two and not even noticing the soft clicking sound as he stepped on what had seemed like just another cobblestone. He was about to turn and run, too late _shit it’s too late_

When suddenly he felt a hand on his arm, pulling him back and a frail, human form was folding itself over him. He heard the explosion, but he didn’t feel it.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Loki screamed as Strange released him, “weren’t you just saying how much frailer you Midgardians are???!!”

“You’re welcome.” He grumbled, rolling his eyes and dusting off his clothing. “Weren’t _you_ just complaining about being put in danger first?”

Loki didn’t answer, he mostly just looked the midgardian up and down as subtle as he could, assessing the damage. It didn’t look as bad, it seemed he was able to get them far enough away from the main body of the blast. But he was not unharmed. His usually immaculate hair was mussed and some of it was singed near the edges. The rest of him appeared almost comical in that his entire body was covered in scrapes, scratches and whatever else one would expect someone who nearly got blown up to look like, but only from behind. Standing at just the right angle, one could conceivably be convinced he had walked away completely unharmed, providing they were looking at him entirely straight on.

“Well, it seems I am not the only one suffering this hellish maze.” He smirked, “and now we have yet another marker of where we’ve already been” he said, gesturing at the layer of soot and scuff marks the explosion had left behind.

Strange huffed out what could have been a laugh, Wong peaked out from around the corner, “anyone die?”

“No Wong, we’re both still here.”

“Hmm, oh well.” He quickly made his way past them and took the next right.

… wait, “what’s that supposed to mean!?”

 

“This is the place huh?” Bruce asked, looking around. It didn’t seem all that impressive to him. Well, it was impressive that anyone could afford a place like it in _New York_ , but he was friends with Tony “I have my own skyscraper in the middle of NYC” Stark, so maybe his idea of impressive was different than it should be.

“Yes, shall we enter?” Thor bumped his shoulder against him, an endearing smile playing across his face, “I jest, of course we shall enter!”

Bruce shook his head fondly and followed directly after him as they went through the doors. And found themselves suddenly landing in a pile on top of eachother steps from the open front door.

“Curse that man and his portals” Thor groaned, Bruce laying atop him was pleasant, if only it were literally any other circumstance. They pushed themselves back up. “Heimdall!”

A blast of color and lightning had the four of them inside the building at last, but neither Loki nor Strange were anywhere to be seen.

“Split up and search for clues gang” Sam said, catching Bruce’s eye as the only possible person in their party who might get that joke.

“I will stay with Banner, you can search with Val,” Thor responded readily, pulling Bruce towards him and winking. Bruce felt his insides turn to jelly, what were they searching for again? Cause Bruce was damn sure whatever it was got lost in Thor’s eyes, just like him. No wait, they’re searching for Loki, ew.

“That makes you scooby right?” Sam asked Valkyrie behind them. Yeah right.

Well, time to get searching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know how I said I’d be better about my next update?? Ha I say a lot of things.


	15. When It Rains It Pours

Bruce pushed open the door to his left and walked through with Thor close behind him. The room was a small study of some sorts with painfully bland looking books on the bookshelf and even more painfully bland papers stacked on the desk in what appeared to be an attempt at mess. No Loki though.

They looked in the next room. It was a bedroom that looked like it had never been slept in, with clothes stacked perfectly and meticulously in the dresser and perfectly pressed suits hanging in the closet. Bruce met Thor’s eyes, there was no way the guy they saw poof into Avengers tower wearing a crimson robe and what looked like full cosplay wore anything this normal.

They looked in the next room. It was a bathroom, like straight out of a magazine for Better Homes and Gardens. The color scheme was soft creams and peach undertones, which frankly baffled Bruce, he thought for sure this guy had more of a gothic inspiration for his interior design.

They looked in the next room, it was a study of some sorts with painfully bland looking books on the bookshelf and even more painfully bland- wait.

“This is the same study” Bruce pushed passed Thor and quickly went back to the first room they had tried to enter. It was a bedroom. No, not a bedroom. The same exact bedroom.

“Banner what are-“ he ran upstairs, Thor on his heels. “Did you find something?”

He threw open another door, the bathroom. Again.

Sam called from downstairs, “are you sure we got the right place? Everything here just looks normal.” Bruce moved closer to the bannister in order to hear him better, “freakishly normal if you ask me”

“Did you see a study, a bedroom and a bath?” He called down.

“Wha- wait how did you-?”

“Damnit. He’s got us with some kind of spell. We’re just looking through the same three rooms.”

“Clever, but Loki would have easily seen through something like this”

“Well that’s nice” Sam called up at them, “but we aren’t exactly ancient Nordic gods of mischief ourselves, so we can’t really compare”

“Thor” Bruce turned around, “you know all of Loki’s tricks right?”

Thor looked frustrated, his eyes going from room to room and his hand clenching in and out of a fist. It was as if his brother was almost within reach, but these parlor tricks kept getting in the way.

“Yes, Loki’s, but I do not know this Midgardian Warlock nearly so well as to guess the solutions to his puzzles.” He scowled.

Bruce reached out and grabbed Thor’s hand, pulling his attention back to him and looked into his eyes. “How would Loki break this?”

Thor’s eyes shined with delight, “oh… oh I know just the way”

  
  


“Watch out!” Loki grabbed Strange and threw him the last ten or so feet as the ground crumpled into nothingness exactly where his feet had been just seconds before.

Now, however, he was stuck on the other side of a giant chasm with the other Midgardian. And he was much less fun.

Strange looked back at him, he had yet to pick himself back up. Perhaps he landed poorly on his own injuries, one could only hope.

“You saved my life!” He was incredulous, a smile almost forming on his face. At least, it looked like it might from ten feet away.

“Now we are separated” Wong stated, emotionless.

Loki bristled.

“Oh, do shut up”

Loki picked him up and tossed him after his friend, perhaps with a little too much effort, as he went significantly further, but could you blame him if he didn’t want to be all that gentle?

Strange rushed over to check on him and Loki scoffed, he’d be fine.

“How are you going to get over to this side?” He called over once Wong was up on his own two feet.

“I’ll figure something out!” He said, walking away a short distance.

“Without magic?”

“... I’m not dependent on magic mortal.” He rolled his eyes, “move aside”

“Wait what are you-“

But he never got the chance to finish his question because suddenly Loki was booking it towards the chasm and jumping across. He landed in a roll and popped back up with two daggers in his hands.

He looked up to incredulous stares and shrugged, stashing the daggers back up his sleeve.

“Sorry, instinct”

Strange shook his head, “sometimes I forget you Asgardians are all… like that”

“Superior?”

“Show offs”

Loki laughed, hell, Wong even chuckled softly, but that might have been his imagination. He didn’t seem the type to have a sense of humor.

They continued, taking the next right.

  
  


“Well damn,” Sam whistled, “I never thought just grabbing two daggers and trying to stab through a solid wall would get us anywhere, but you can’t argue with results.”

The gang was standing in front of a large hole, on the other side was what appeared to be an actual, full sized library.

Everyone shared a look that said “you go first, I’m not going first,” at least Bruce and Sam did, so of course Val scoffed and walked through first.

Sam shrugged and followed, next was Thor, and bringing up the rear was Bruce.

The library was enormous and the books covered every wall with titles like The Secrets of Dormamu and Ancient Remedies of the Second Wave. None of them were familiar to Bruce, and he had previously considered himself to be quite well read.

There wasn’t only books, either. There were artifacts in cases along one wall that looked either ancient or alien and there was a strange feeling of power in the room. Almost like the static electricity of a blanket fresh from the dryer, but without the buildup to an inevitable shock.

“There’s a lot a cool stuff in here man, but I don’t see your brother anywhere.” Bruce heard Sam’s voice a few shelves away, Thor was still in sight though. He looked like he was about to touch something he definitely shouldn’t when Sam interrupted him.

“Well, he did disappear.” Thor answered before turning back to the trinket. “At this point we just need to find a-“

“Find a clue scooby doo?” Sam joked.

“Who is this scooby doo you keep mentioning?”

“Don’t worry about it”

Thor’s questioning glance was turned towards Bruce in the hope that he would answer in Wilson’s stead. He sighed, “He’s a Dog, he solves… crime? I guess? I’m not super sure about that part. But they search for clues in places like this a lot”

He hoped that sufficed as an explanation, he didn’t have the heart to admit he had never really watched it in front of Sam.

Val suddenly called from another part of the room. “Your Majesty! I found something interesting!”

Before Bruce could hope for good news, Thor was bolting to that side of the room, as excited as a newborn puppy being offered a treat. Him and Sam just kind of sauntered over there. Or they would have, if there wasn’t a bright explosion of magic that almost blinded them.

They shared a worried look and ran for that side of the room, but both Thor and Val were gone. Disappeared.

“Heimdall is so gonna kick my ass”

  
  


Everything he knew was falling apart. He could hear his parents voices in his head, their screaming. He saw red, he fought, he screamed and he raged and the only thing he hurt was himself. He did this, and the man he once called friend, the man standing at his side right now was protecting him. Protecting him from Tony.

“Where is he Cap?”

“I’m not telling you until you calm down”

Tony reared back, furious, “Calm Down?? Listen you melted popsicle. I just found out your boyfriend murdered my parents and you.. you knew about it this whole time! And you want me to CALM DOWN???”

“Tony-“

“Is that why you wanted just the two of us on this mission? Didn’t want me to realize how wrong I was to trust you with your boy-toy in play?”

“I had no idea this would happen and you know that! We- yes we decided that it would be the two of us because we wanted all other hands on deck for Ross. Remember?”

Tony only felt his frustration build, he was right, of course he was right he’s Captain fucking America. But that didn’t mean Tony was in the wrong. He had been lied to, by someone he trusted with his life. It’s real clear now how much that means to Mr Perfect.

“Where is he Steve. I know you said something to him when we left. I know he’s not in New York.”

“He won’t hurt anyone else Tony-“

“Oh yeah? How can you possibly know that?”

Steve crumbled.

“He’s in Wakanda, Nat made a deal with T’challa to help him get rid of Hydra’s programming.” Steve’s voice went soft, “He’s a victim, just like you.”

Tony finally found the strength to meet his eyes, “No, Cap, I’m not a victim. I’m a hero.”

  
  


Heimdall saw this all. Everything. He watched as his King disappeared into the same realm his brother had, unable to get to him. He watched as the pillars of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes crumbled from the inside, the pain of betrayal and mistrust carving into their foundation, he watched as Ross sent an army to surround Stark’s compound, a residence dubbed New Asgard by his King for the fact it housed what was left of his people, and he watched as he sent another to the Sorcerer's enchanted home.

But he could not leave, he was all that was left of Asgard’s forces and he would not let his people fear, he would stand between them and Ross’ forces, though he knew it to be a trap. He had to stay, but he watched.

 

Sam had decided that his prayers for excitement had been answered not by a benevolent deity, but rather a vengeful genie hellbent on making him miserable. Sure, he got excitement, but now Thor and Valkyrie were missing, just like Loki, and he was alone with Bruce. Which would have been fine, if they were actually alone.

But not seconds after the Asgardians disappeared did a complete stranger appear in an orange glowy circle.  And he didn’t come alone, he had at least a dozen highly trained special ops with him whose main job was apparently to keep the Falcon at bay. Which sucked, cause he was the falcon, and they made it very difficult for him to complete his mission!

“Bruce! Now would be a great time to Hulk out!” He shouted, kicking his current assailant in the chest before twisting in his wings and tackling another. The size of the room may have been impressive when they first entered, but it was not ideal for fighting in a flight suit in any sense.

“I’m trying! He’s not answering!!”

“Of course not,” the magic Stranger scoffed, “Secretary Ross was kind enough to give us some of that temporary antidote Banner had been working on so feverishly before the Avengers picked him up. For the next two hours he’s as helpless as a newborn lamb, isn’t that right?”

The man walked towards Bruce, Bruce who Sam was only now realizing had been ignored by literally everyone else, Bruce who couldn’t hulk out, Bruce who he was supposed to be watching damnit!!  

He couldn’t get away in time, he couldn’t get to him. “Bruce!”

The man got to him first, he raised his hand, “now, sleep. It will all be over soon”

And Sam screamed as he watched his friend fall to the floor.

He failed.

 

And this too was seen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since you’ve been with me this far. Here’s something cute  
> https://youtu.be/VHd4SMBz2ls


	16. Get Through This

Heimdal watched as the midgardians retreated. The victory was bittersweet, they were not individually strong in the way that Asgardians were, but they overran with numbers and the kind of deranged determination that he had come to expect from those that inhabited this planet. 

He stayed outside, a pillar between New Asgard and the rest of the planet, and he strives to see again. To see his King, or his brother, he strove to see the fate of Bruce Banner, but he found himself blind to them. He could only hope they were able to find their way home, each of them. 

Until then, he stood watch.

 

Bruce woke up disoriented and hurt to an extent he wasn’t used to now that he had Hulk to protect him. He felt his surroundings gradually come into a sharper focus, there was a bright light hanging just above him that splashed shadows on the walls around him as it swung, the sound of people, muffled by distance and the taste of copper in his mouth. But what made his eyes shoot open and his heart race was the feeling of chains around him, the inability to move was not an experience he had suffered recently. Hulk hated it, and he rarely allowed Banner to leave them incapacitated in that way.

But Hulk wasn’t there, he couldn’t feel him in the back of his mind, the large and comforting presence he Hause become was just… gone.

“So you finally wake up huh?”

Bruce sucked in his breath, panic clawing its way up his throat. He wasn’t as alone as he had assumed, and he recognized that voice.

“R- Ross?” He croaked out, his voice scratching against his throat. 

“Thirsty?” Ross asked, stepping into the light, “can you even feel that, I wonder?”

“What?” Bruce struggled against his bonds, he was shaking, his chest hurt, he could barely breathe. “What are you doing? I- I’m an Avenger! You can’t do this to me! Not-“ tears welled up in his eyes, he blinked them back “ _ Not again _ .”

Ross just smiled and shook his head, “No, you see, there’s rules now. I know you know them, you’re pretty buddy buddy with Stark after all, aren’t you? You’re only an Avenger if you sign the Accords.”

He walked over to the table, it was obscured in the shadows of the room and Bruce tried not to think about what may be on it. He failed. 

Ross however, just grabbed a stack of papers and walked back over, waving it in front of him. “But you see, I have the Accords right here,” his face twisted into a gruesome parody of a grin, “and you aren’t in it.” 

“What… what do you want from me? I’m hardly the most interesting thing in the world anymore”

“Interesting? I don’t care about that! I care about strength, and you- well, your other you, is the strongest thing in the universe.”

No… 

“And I plan on finding out everything I can, in any way I can, about taking that strength for myself.” He turned back to the table and picked something up off of it. Bruce could see a red glint and felt an ache in his shoulder. It was a ballpoint hammer and Bruce suddenly remembered the pain he had awoken feeling. What was Ross planning?

“We were trying to wake up the other guy you see,” Ross said, nonchalant, “but it looks like we overdosed you a bit. No worries though, we can just keep trying” 

Bruce struggled against his bonds, fear overcoming him as Ross got closer.

“Thor will kill you for this, he’ll save me” 

“Thor has to save himself first.” 

Bruce had a sudden realization, one that left him cold and stopped his struggling “you… you’re the one that-“

“Tricked that no-good brother of his into falling for a magical trap that even an Ancient Nordic Deity wouldn’t be able to get out of? No”

He shook his head and looked to Bruce’s left. Bruce tried to follow his gaze, but couldn’t, the chains too tight for even the slightest of movement. 

“I had help, but you probably knew that.”

The magic Stranger from before, he must be what was keeping Loki from Heimdal’s view. But, if that was true, then is he hidden to? Would Heimdal be able to see him? If not, would Thor find him? Or would he be stuck here, with Ross, forever? Then again, he had said Thor needed to save himself first, was Thor in danger? 

Bruce pushed those thoughts out of his head. Thor could handle himself, and… and even if he couldn’t find Bruce, he was a Revenger damnit! And he can damn well save himself!

The hammer hurt.

 

Sam had to walk. Well, it was more like limping really, but his gear was broken, his leg was bust, he couldn’t even feel his left arm. When he woke up Bruce was long gone, and so were the people that took him, he needed to tell someone. Hell, he needed to tell Tony! 

He’d been so paranoid that this exact scenario would happen, he’d done everything he could think of to prevent it, taken every measure, every precaution. 

And Sam blew it, he never should have been okay with them leaving the compound without radioing back in. He just thought… man Thor’s presence is just so damn confidence boosting! It’s impossible to be pragmatic next to someone who looks like they could bench press the  _ planet. _ Especially when he had the confidence to match. 

But that didn’t matter now, Thor was gone too, hell, so was that Valkyrie chick. And that magician guy. What was Ross even doing? Collecting people that could kick his ass for no reason? Or was whatever happens to Loki meant as a distraction so he could get at what he really wanted?

Sam shook his head. It really didn’t matter. 

He kept going, sooner or later he’d make it to Avenger Tower, they could help him there.

 

They were at the start again.

“But how?” Strange asked, looking to his companions as if they might inexplicably hold the answers. They didn’t. Obviously.

Loki rolled his eyes and tried to contain his frustration. Apparently, much like the age-old adage two wrongs don’t make a right, too many rights don’t makE A WAY OUT OF THIS DAMNED HEL-SCAPE!

Wong just stood off to the side, his breathing was the least labored of the group, then again, he was also the most sensible of them, Loki admitted begrudgingly. He flat out refused to go first down any hall and rarely found himself running to avoid things like poison darts and giant axes directed at him. 

Loki would behave similarly, of course, if not for his impatience to get out of the infinite yet claustrophobic trappings of this maze. And the fact that he was the only one among them that might survive half the blasted traps laid before them.

But they couldn’t just stay here and pout, he’d never here the end of it from Thor if he allowed  _ Midgardian _ magic to beat him. 

“Where are you going?”

Loki didn’t stop, “I’m trying a new path, it’s a  _ maze _ isn’t it?”

Strange grabbed his arm, his hands were shaking. But apparently that was a human nervous system thing so Loki long ago gave up trying to read anything from them.

“we can’t possibly know there’s a way out for certain. It could just be leading us in circles to wear us down until eventually one of these traps kills us.”

Loki seethed, “oh? So you’d suggest what? That we sit here and twiddle our thumbs until Prince Charming rides up on his white steed to rescue us and take us to a faraway land where chocolate can flow from fountains? I’d rather not” 

“Later, we need to talk about this chocolate fountain thing, because I think you’re under some pretty depressing misconceptions about that. But for now? Yes. That would actually be very nice”

Loki felt some of his frustration slip away at Strange’s humor. The Midgardian was strong to not let such a futile quest rankle him or set him upon the edge that Loki felt himself tiptoeing upon.

“Strange is correct, it is better to stay put if it proves equally futile as refusal to move forward is a refusal to put oneself at risk.” Wong chipped in from a few feet away, for some reason refusing to step closer to either of them. 

This caused Loki to realize just how close Strange and he were and prompted a subtle shifting away to give himself distance. And no, he didn’t blush.

“I can’t just wait here. I can practically hear my Brother now, mocking me if I do.  _ Loki Loki!”  _ He said, a poor imitation of Thor as he imagined him.

“Actually… I don’t think that’s in your head”

“What?” That’s when he heard it, his brother’s voice, echoing down the maze. 

“What has that buffoon done now??”

 

Thor had been wandering with Val for quite some time in what seemed to be an endless maze of… pre-springed traps? An interesting design choice, perhaps it was to create intimidation and an aura of fear among those trapped within its walls. Though, it was mostly just annoying. Thor found himself dodging far too many puddles of blood, and there was even an entire hallway just covered with scorch marks. 

Every time they came to an intersection he would call out for his brother, but they’d yet to hear a reply. Thor was just turning right when Val said something,

“Watch ou-“

But it was cut off as Thor felt a painfully familiar pair of shoes hit him square in the face. 

“Ah, Brother, so we found you” 

“What The HELL Do you think you are doing here??!!”

Thor slowly opened his eyes, blinking away the sting from Loki’s unnecessarily pointed heels, “we came to rescue you”

“Oh? And getting trapped in here with me? Was that all a part of your plan?”

“Well, admittedly, no.” Thor shrugged, “but we are mostly making it up as we go at this point.”

Loki rolled his eyes, Thor took a moment to give a quick visual rundown while he wasn’t looking.

“I’m  _ fine _ you dolt, nothing like that planet with the Badoon.” 

“I should hope not, though I’m beginning to think you have someone on every planet waiting for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, we had an amicable separation. It was those pesky  _ laws _ that got in the way”

Thor smiled, “of course”

“Thor?” Strange and another man entered the cross-section, finally catching up to their errant group member. “What,” he tried to catch his breath “are you doing here?”

“I was looking for my Brother.” Thor answered, parting Loki on the back with more force than necessary and taking delight in the way he jumped. But less in the way he grabbed his dagger and tried to cut his hand off. Thor had enough missing limbs, and he liked that one.

“Well you certainly found him. You wouldn’t happen to know a way out would you?”

Thor lit up. “As it happens, we just recently had to find our way out of a confusion spell bound maze”

“Did you?” Strange looked doubtful, the coincidence too much for him to put his faith in it.

“Yes, to get here we first had to-“

“Wait, you were in my home weren’t you?”

Thor nodded.

The blood drained from Strange's face. “What did you do?”

“I simply bypassed your protections!” Val snorted. “By using an old trick of my brothers!”

“An old trick of  _ mine?” _

“Yes, I just grabbed two daggers-“

“Okay! That’s enough. I can’t take sitting here and listening to how you’ve destroyed my home right now. We need to keep moving.” He turned toward Thor, “so which way? Left or right?”

“Don’t get your hopes up though, we’ve tried almost every direction.” Loki grumbled.

But Thor wasn’t discouraged, instead a slow smile spread across his face. “Did you try through?”

“Through?” Strange asked.

“Yes, whoever this is trapped us in an endless Maze. But if there is no maze, he cannot trap us.”

“And how do you suggest we get through these walls?”

“Oh I know just the way…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I’m sorry!! Wow, not a great night for the boys is it?


	17. Hulk Strong

Bruce wasn’t in pain.

That was how he knew he was dreaming, it was the only time he had where he wasn’t being interrogated, or tortured, or threatened. Hel, Ross had tried reasoning with him too. Poorly, since it was Ross after all, but it can’t be said he wasn’t pulling out all the stops. But he couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

Everytime they got close to breaking him, he was crying from the pain, limbs limp with disuse and his head dizzy from bloodloss, when he felt like he was one badly worded threat from giving in… he thought of the other guy. He thought of the moments they had, but could never truly share, the way Thor regaled him with tales of his time with Hulk, Val‘s soft smirk when she reminded him of the times Loki had ended up bodyslammed into the walls or flooring, the gentle, emotional presence he could feel in his head at any given moment, with him constantly. And he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t let go. He refused to let Ross ruin that too.

He allowed himself a soft smile, at least he had a few hours to himself. Though, he couldn’t remember ever having a dream quite this lucid before. Perhaps it was the stress of the trauma his subconscious was trying to ease-

“Banner stupid”

Bruce turned around, surprised. He’d never heard that voice in person before, only ever recordings or videos, or Hel, poorly done imitations by Loki.

“Hulk mad!”

Hulk was there. Right in front of him, in his dream no less. “Wait? Why are you mad?”

“Banner stupid! Puny Banner!”

That didn’t really answer his question, but he didn’t need it to. Looking at Hulk it was suddenly easy to see that he was not nearly as mad as he’d like Bruce to think. He looked torn by a different emotion entirely, his shoulders were hiked and he seemed to hunch into himself. An impressive feat for someone his size.

He looked… dejected.

Bruce felt something clench in his heart, Hulk wasn’t supposed to get sad. He walked closer, punching the other’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey big guy,” Hulk looked down at him, “it’s gonna be okay. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you”

His words seemed to have the opposite effect from what he was hoping for however, when Hulk’s face twisted into a more familiar expression and he started yelling again, the scenery of the dream starting to move and break with every loud word.

“No! Stupid Banner!! Puny Banner!!” He shouted, his fist slamming into the ground next to him. “Hulk Strong!! Hulk stronger than Banner!! Puny Banner!! Let Hulk Out!!! Hulk Strong”

Bruce just glared back, “no. I’m not letting you out. Damn it, do you even know what he’ll do to you?”

But Hulk only got more angry, and he stood up so that he towered even further above the small scientist. “No!! Hulk out!!!! Puny Banner!!”

“It’s not like he’ll kill me! You’re perfectly safe as long as you just stay asleep. I promise I won’t let him hurt you”

Hulk just froze. Something he said must have finally gotten through his thick skull cause he sat back down and Bruce could finally catch his eyes again. They looked hurt.

“No hurt Hulk. Hulk Strong”

Bruce smiled, a soft, broken thing and reached his hand to pat Hulk on the cheek, it was wet. He spoke over the lump forming in his throat and tried to keep his voice from cracking, “you’ll be okay, it’ll all be okay. Just watch” Hulk didn’t deserve this, he was doing so well. Finally growing into his own skin, becoming his own person… “this will all be over before you even know it”

Hulk grabbed his hand, and looked at it, he turned it over and held it up to his own, studying the difference in size. “Hulk Strong” his eyes met Bruce’s once more, “Banner Puny”

“Yeah big guy, I know I’m real tiny”

“Banner puny.”

“You’re not telling me something I don’t already know here”

Hulk just seemed to get frustrated at that, he let go of his hand and looked back at the scenery their shared mind had come up with. It was nice, he couldn’t quite place where they were, but he knew it was familiar. He certainly wasn’t creative enough to think of something like this on his own. They were in a room, a large room with ornate decorations and a bed that would be luxurious even for Hulk. Which was likely on purpose, Bruce realized as he looked around. There were trinkets and devices he wasn’t familiar with littering the ground and covering the shelves, but every once in a while, there was something familiar. A toy, and action figure, even a large rubix cube in the corner. There was a large window that Hulk was currently looking out of, but nothing to see.

Bruce looked over at his companion, “Do you know this place?”

Hulk shrugged, he was clearly still upset, but he wasn’t going to change Bruce’s mind. And as long as that… whatever it was, Ross used on him was still in his system, Bruce was able to override Hulks ability to gain control in high stress situations, no matter how hard he fought against it.

“Sakaar. Room. Champion there”

Bruce nodded, right, the two years he’d been basically sleeping beauty while Hulk was fighting in the arena. Another thought occurred, “is this where you go when I’m in control? Like, in our mind?”

Hulk shook his head, “new. Banner in Control Hulk just background. Banner have room?”

Bruce just shook his head right back, what Hulk described was pretty much exactly what happened to him too. Just, fading into the background. This left a new question of course, then what were they doing here?

 

Bruce woke up. Ross had dumped a bucket on his head, and hadn’t bothered to keep a particularly good grip either. He wished his hands were untied so he could at the very least soothe his now throbbing skull, or give him the finger.

“Rise and shine Bucko, today’s a new day.”

Bruce just ignored him, there was something different about the room this time. It was dark though, and it hurt to strain his eyes searching for something he didn’t know for sure was there.

“We’ve got a whole party planned out, just you wait.” Ross smiled, it made Bruce sick. “Course I don’t wanna start until I invite the guest of honor, any chance I’ll be seeing him soon?”

He felt a push at the edge of his mind, clearer than he ever had before Hulk Strong.

He met Ross’ eyes. “He’s busy today, leave a message and I’ll let him know you called?”

He sneered. Bruce felt his head fly back as Ross’ fist found his cheek. Today would be a long day.

As Bruce’s eyes lost focus he found himself staring into the corner again. He could swear someone else was there…

 

Loki was considering fratricide. Nothing new there, of course, but he was toying with the different ways he could go about doing it and the justification he’d have to give Heimdal if he ever got out of this hel. Because whatever it is Thor thought he was doing? It wasn’t working.

And it was stupid.

Oh so very stupid.

“You can’t just keep knocking down walls. There’s no exit, it doesn’t matter how many walls you get through.”

Thor was breathing heavily, he hadn’t stopped breaking through wall after wall, moving in a straight line from where they had began to… a direction leading nowhere. Just like every direction. Which Loki would love for Thor to understand since he’d been explaining it to him for hours now.

“It worked at the wizard’s place!” He said, almost pouting.

“Wait what?” Strange, who had previously been meditating with Wong and ignoring the three Asgardians, suddenly shot to his feet. “You did what to the sanctuary??”

Thor didn’t even look guilty, granted Loki wouldn’t have either, but then again he was Loki.

“Well, we had to find my brother, it wasn’t my fault you hid yourselves behind so many delusion spells”

“Illusion spells?” Wong asked, ignoring the way Strange’s face went completely red. And not even in the cute mortal blushed way either, but rather in the vein popping I want to help Loki commit fratricide way. Then again, he could just be projecting.

“I know what I said”

“I swear to whatever higher power you Asgardians subscribe to, when we get back you are fixing our home you heathens.” Strange glared, it didn’t really do much. But Thor looked at Loki and he shrugged,

“Fair enough Bizarre Wizard. We can have Friend Stark fix your home.”

Strange just sighed, “it’s Doctor Strange.”

Thor turned back to the group as a whole. He looked at each of them, likely scrutinizing how exhausted each of them are, how injured him and the sorcerer had managed to get in their time here and how many walls he’d gone through.

“Loki, if this isn’t working what exactly would you have me do Brother?”

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t you think I’d have mentioned it if I had an idea? It’s not like get hel-“ Loki’s eyes went wide. No. It couldn’t be that simple could it?

“Thor,” He said, cautiously, “Did you fall from above when you were trapped in here?”

The two midgardians turned to look as well, caught off guard by the sudden softness in Loki’s tone.

“We did,” he said, Valkyrie nodded her assent as well.

Loki looked thoughtful, he debated in his mind whether the price would be worth the potential reward and the risk of failure. He looked at Strange, the human who had risked his life for him earlier, his wounds were not good for a human, hel, Loki’s wounds weren’t exactly fantastic either right now but he was fundamentally made of stronger stuff. As evident by his twitching hands and how both he and his companion keep licking their lips, thirst afflicting them despite what they’d have the Asgardians believe.

Yeah, this was gonna suck.

“Do you remember your favorite part of get help?” Thor’s eyes lit up, Loki felt like dying. “I need to get up there.”

He pointed up, Thor’s eyes followed, but there was nothing to see. Of course not, because there was nothing there. Which meant, no walls.

Thor grinned.

Strange looked quizzically at the pair “I’m sorry, get help?”

Loki just felt his cheeks warm, he didn’t answer.

Thor walked over and put his hand on Loki’s shoulder, smiling, smiling far too much in fact, before he grabbed him with both arms and lifted him up.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Strange asked once more this time looking to anyone else for answers. Val just shook her head, Wong shrugged.

Loki suddenly had severe second thoughts, “actually Brother, what if we-“

“Too late!” And with that Loki found himself tossed like a football into the air, spinning towards the edges of the spell woven around them.

It was mortifying.

Hopefully whoever had crafted this spell didn’t expect them to fly, he kept going.

This was almost as bad as that time Strange had trapped him in an endless loop of portals when they had been looking for their father. Speaking of which, he should really get back at him for that, turn him into a frog or something. Temporarily of course, he would miss his wit otherwise. And it was so rare to find someone else with such a passion for the mystic arts, as inexperienced and juvenile as his mastery was, it was endearing how he tried.

He felt a tingling sensation all around him as he continued to climb, the magic wards not nearly enough to tear into Thor’s momentum. He just needed a little bit more… there.

He could feel the soft hum of his own magic, electric at his fingertips. He used it to open his eyes and saw the strings of the trap around him, he grabbed the edge of one and pulled.

Loki watched as the web around him unraveled.

Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoooooo boy.  
> Sorry for the wait everyone!! My computer is completely kaput, so I basically had to write the whole thing on my phone... which neither I nor my phone enjoyed >>. Anyways, they’re out! Finally!


	18. Bitch you thought!

“What do you mean you don’t know where they are?”

Tony just shrugged, if you could call it that. He could clearly barely move and he was avoiding eye contact. “I mean, yeah, I don’t know for sure. Somewhere in Wakanda maybe? He didn’t exactly want me following him, or finding Barnes, I guess.”

It had been a couple of hours since Sam had made it to the Avenger’s Tower and told Tony everything that had happened. He’d been taken to the med bay immediately when Tony decided to casually mention that Captain America had disappeared with Barnes, sometime while he was babysitting Hulk.

“We have to find them.” Sam didn’t want to believe it still. It didn’t make sense to him, they knew Bruce could be in danger, why go on an impromptu honeymoon now? And without telling him?

Tony just glared in his general direction, fiddling with something in his hands. Sam would like to believe it was some new, brilliant invention that could help find his friends, who apparently decided that today was the day to _disappear from his life!_

“You can probably find a way to contact him, but for now I’ll grab Rhodey and see if we can find anything on Ross’ current movements,” Tony finally pocketed whatever he had been fidgeting with, “And Sam? Don’t worry, we’ll find Bruce. We’ll find all of them”

Sam hoped he was right.

 

Now.

Heimdal’s sword split the ground as soon as he felt the presence of his King, and not even a moment later he was before him once more. In a pile of flailing limbs, as Heimdal had simply summoned all that were with him to New-Asgard as well.

“Welcome home my King” he greeted.

“Yes, thank you Heimdal. Mission Success as you can see” Thor lifted his brother by the collar in a feigned attempt at helping him up. Loki simply scowled and pushed away, his eyes darting towards the human sorcerer and his ears tinting a soft pink.

“No thanks to you, you blithering Baboon of a diety” he said, dusting off his sleeve.

Loki looked rough, so did the humans. Though the tall one with the portal habit looked significantly worse for a reason Heimdal had not been able to see.

He and his companion had gathered themselves together at last and he spoke, “Heimdal?” he said softly, a question inherent in the use of his name, “wait, why bring us here?”

The question caught the attention of all that were gathered, Valkyrie even glanced up for a moment, though she did not stand, likely perceiving it as a wasted effort.

“I believe that the King will need all the help he can get. I collected those I thought necessary”

“Help?” Thor looked confused. He glanced at his brother, and then shifted closer to him in order to subtly, but forcefully, slap his shoulder. A solid sound rang out, proving the prince’s presence with a flinch. “We have my brother here, what quest would you send us on now that would be so perilous?”

Thor laughed and looked around, his joy slowly dying and his laughter growing cold. Heimdal didn’t need omnision to know the moment his King made the realisation, it was in his eyes as he continued trailing them along the room in an attempt to find a familiar face. A futile attempt at that.

“Heimdal,” He said cautiously, the others had yet to make the connection quite as quickly, most likely they did not even know who all had gone to save them in the first place. “Where is Banner?”

“And that other guy, with those goofy wing-things” Valkyrie asked as well.

“Sam Wilson is currently in the Avenger’s Tower with Tony Stark”

“And Banner? Where is Banner?” Thor’s smile was a forced thing, like an artist had painted his face in agony but had been told to lighten it up a bit and in frustration painted a misplaced and maligned interpretation of a smile on to it.

He swallowed. He looked towards Loki as well, his eyes were dark and he was staring at his brother. He glanced towards Heimdal as well, seeking the answer, but he did not like whatever it was he saw because he quickly glanced away.

“I do not know” Heimdal spoke into existence what no one wanted to hear, “He was taken, my King”

“Taken? By whom?” Electricity filled the air, static and volatile. “A-and How? He’s - you… He has the-”

“Hulk would never allow this” Valkyrie said, calmly.

“He might not have had a choice” Loki countered, “If the labyrinth was truly meant for me, it was likely a distraction for Thor as well.”

“They had a lot of time and powerful magic, suppressing Hulk and kidnapping Banner may have been the goal all along” The human sorcerer finished the thought.

Heimdal inclined his head, yes, that is what he thought as well. Their mistake was underestimating the stubbornness of humans. Especially humans that held obsession such as Ross.

“But who? Why would anyone go after Banner?”

“There’s an obvious answer to that one isn’t there?”

“Ross doesn’t have magic you dolt!”

The brothers continued bickering, their frustrations magnified by each other, their worry and fears escaping as sharp words and a hum of violence underlying every word. Though, this was no different than their normal bickering, Loki was even unsheathing his favorite knife.

“Heimdal,” the human spoke, softly enough that only he could hear, “did you see who it was? The sorcerer helping Ross?”

They locked eyes, he inclined his head.

“What did he look like?” his voice grew louder subconsciously, “can you describe him? What did you see? Was it-” his voice cracked. He was speaking loudly now, almost shouting. Heimdal saw Loki turn to look, curious and invested in the human’s emotion. In the sudden silence his voice slipped back into a whisper. “Was it Mordo?”

They had history, this sorcerer and the unknown one. He would be an invaluable resource then, Heimdal described the man as thoroughly as possible. Strange’s expression grew more twisted as whatever suspicions he must have had found confirmation in his words.

“You know what this means Wong?”

“I should get back to the Sanctum?” these words were accompanied by the spinning of his hands and the opening of a portal.

Strange just nodded, Heimdal watched as the human walked through his portal and kept watch as he walked through the mess on the other side. He looked around and shrugged, slowly gathering artifacts and increasing the magic wards of the building until Heimdal himself found difficulty seeing through them.

“It’s not good that he was able to get into the sanctum…” Strange muttered. He looked up at those gathered around him, his eyes catching on Loki’s and his cheeks dusting a soft pink. _Interesting_. He cleared his throat and addressed the room, “His name is Karl Mordo, he is a magician like me and Wong, except better. He’d been training for his entire life before I ever even knew about magic and he is nothing if not a fast learner. I trained under him and-” he falters, “and the ancient… Anyways, he’s got a mission. And we think it could give him incentive to work with Ross”

“Why would a magician want to work with someone who so clearly doesn’t approve of power outside of his own direct control?” Valkyrie questioned, lying in a more comfortable position, flask dangling from her hand. “Seems restrictive”

“It’s only a theory,” his eyes seemed to keep seeking out Loki, likely subconsciously. Loki for his part feigned disinterest well. “But Mordo has always been about that kind of stuff, his goal is to get rid of every magic user that exists in this world, starting with those he believes go against nature or break certain rules. Like me, kind of especially me actually.”

Thor had been quite for sometime, listening intently and finally spoke. “But can you locate him?”

Strange shook his head, but then made a more non-committed gesture that ended in a shrug, a strange high-pitched noise leaving his throat that sounded somewhat like an “eeeh?”

“So does that mean like no?”

“It means I can try, but I make no guarantees.”

“That’s a lot for such a short, weird sound” Thor said, his face open and innocent, as if he truly believed that Strange was translating for him. Heimdall rolled his eyes.

Loki scoffed.  “I can help,”

Strange shook his head, “no, we shouldn’t put all our eggs in one basket.”  

“He’s right, if he can’t find this Mr. Go-”

“Mordo”

“We'll need to find Banner a different way.” Static gathered at the tips of Thor’s fingers, the only sign of his true feelings he’d allowed to manifest at all. “And we _will_ find Banner.”

  


Bruce was still sitting in the same room. He couldn’t have been there as long as it felt like he had. He was alone with his thoughts at the moment, Hulk still at the edge of his consciousness but not fighting for control due to the lack of a clear threat. So instead Bruce found himself daydreaming about a certain blonde King, the rough and textured feel of his hands whenever he allowed himself to give into an impulse to brush his own hands against them. The crushing warmth of every hug and every painful but affectionate slap on the back, perfectly calculated to throw him off balance but not off his feet. The soft affection in his remaining eye, a little morbid of a thought perhaps, but Bruce remembered one time when he swore he could see the entire sky in the depth of blue that eye held.

He felt a single tear slide down his cheek, it stung, catching on the first open wound he had been left with. He wondered if he could scar still, Hulk had never let him get this badly injured before. Bruce didn’t know how much longer he could hold back. The “antidote” was fading away, and Ross would get what he wanted eventually. Bruce couldn’t let that happen.

He had how many PhD’s? How hard could it be to get out of here anyways? It was just like, a really advanced escape room right?

He tested his bonds, they didn’t give any more slack than before, but he was able to move his hands further. It took him a moment to realize it was because his skin was slippery with his own blood, he flinched. Hoo boy he did not like pain, and any resistance to it he had developed throughout life had diminished the longer he’d had Hulk. So he really wasn’t looking forward to what he had to do next.

He snapped the thumb of his non dominant hand and used the slickness of his blood to slowly work his hand out of the restraint. Hulk growled in his head. _I know, I’m sorry, I’ll get us out of here_. When he was done he snapped it back in place. It would keep hurting, a lot, but he could still use it at least.

He looked around quickly, a useless endeavor because it was still pitch black in the room, and reached out blindly in the direction he knew the table to be in. He couldn’t reach, obviously. _Shit_.

He looked around again and then sighed in frustration. He leaned awkwardly down, placing his freed hand on the ground and putting all his weight, and hat of the chair, on it. He ignored the flare of pain that traveled up his elbow as he scooted/rocked the chair closer to his goal.

He stopped when he could almost make out the edge of the table, a puddle of blood had gathered underneath it. For a military operation, nothing seemed very sanitary, or organised. But that proved to work to his advantage as he grabbed a few tools off the table and set to work on the rest of his restraints.

It took a bit, but he was able to get them all off before he heard a voice coming from the corner of the room.

“An interesting display, but I’m afraid I cannot allow you to leave.”

Bruce felt tears sting at the corners of his eyes, a fleeting image of Thor’s smile passed across his mind and he found himself choking out a laugh. “Oh, of course not. Would have been nice if you’d informed me sooner though, you know before I broke my thumb?”

“I didn’t want to spoil your fun”

“Oh,” Bruce nodded “Of course not” he threw the scalpel in his hand in the direction of the voice and turned around to run towards the door. Or where he thought there was a door, but was actually a wall. He started circling the room, using his hands to feel around as he went, the pain from his broken thumb and the stinging cuts was nothing in lieu of the adrenaline surge he had gotten when he heard the other man’s voice.

And it was especially minor in comparison to the sudden and all encompassing dread when his hands found the trail of blood he had left behind in his search attempt. He had circled the room.

There was no door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Computer still Broke y'all.   
> Anyways, a little bit of angst for all my lovely friends. <3  
> More action in the next chapter, there is a change, a-coming


	19. The Search Begins

Thor had gone immediately to Avenger’s Tower, Stark was the best lead they had on finding Ross and thus figuring out exactly what it was he did with Banner. But the atmosphere in the room was tense, Tony had apparently already been up to speed by Wilson, but there was more to it then that. The exhaustion Tony was displaying was clearly more than just physical, and the Captain’s absence was felt strongly. 

“I’m still a fugitive” Sam said, “so just the fact that I’m here is a problem with the rule book that’s been laid out. But Tony wont let me leave either, until I’m approved to leave by his personal doctor. On top of that, Cap and Barnes are in Wakanda and they aren’t coming back any time soon so the rest of us are trying to figure out how to work the plan back into shape.” He shifted his weight, his ribs were only bruised, but it was difficult for him to get comfortable. 

“Sam’s right, we’ve sent news to everyone, even the kid, but protecting Bruce was one thing. Trying to go after the Secretary of state? That’s Cap’s division of our agreement.” Tony explained, he was standing behind the couch, a glass in one hand and his phone in the other. He’d said he’d been texting Rhodes, but Thor was at least 60% sure he was actually playing Galaga. 

“So call him,” Thor said, frustration lacing his words, “surely he will understand our plight and return.”

Tony just shook his head, “I…” his words died in his throat. 

Wilson spoke up in his stead, “We can’t contact him, except through T’Challa and Nat’s working that angle right now.” 

Thor grew only more frustrated. Every moment they spent arguing semantics, dealing with these midgardian politics, was a moment Banner spent in the hands of his greatest enemy. On Asgard there were no complicated politics, Hel, Heimdal made committing treason into a personal hobby, and Loki had tried to usurp the throne at least six times. But it was never so… wordy. Asgardians were beings that regarded action over word, that was why Hulk fit in so easily. 

But now he was in danger. 

A slither of fear ran down his spine, he’d never worried for Hulk’s (and as such, Banner’s) safety before. He shouldn’t have anything but the utmost confidence in them now… But he remembered the way Banner had reacted to just hearing the man’s name, the way his smaller frame shook in fear, his eyes wide and green. He’d never reacted to anything in that way since leaving Earth. So Thor had promised to protect him, to protect his smile, and his trust, the soft way the edges of his eyes crinkled when he laughed and how everytime Thor winked a warm blush would color his cheeks. He was supposed to be here with him now, joyful in their recent missions success, just as he had been every other time, on every other planet.

But this wasn’t any other planet, this was Banner’s original planet, one he had called home not long ago, and one that had housed his demons. Demons that Thor had underestimated. 

“We’ve got all hands on deck Thor, at least the ones we can spare. Rhodey’s keeping an eye on the White House, the kid and the ant-guy have their ears to the ground, Wanda and Vision are both no-shows and Clint’s hunting them down to try and tell them what’s going on. I’ve got every satellite I own looking for the green guy, but we are running thin.”

“Do what you can Stark, he has been hunting Hulk from the moment he existed, he will not let go so easily now that he has him.”

“No,” Stark said, his eyes darkening and his voice soft, “I don’t suppose he would”

With that, Thor was out the door, walking quickly down the road and headed as fast as his legs could take him to the compound. Loki appeared beside him. 

“Not much help, are they?” his brother growled. He had been there for the discussion, invisible, and unable to speak. They had wanted to get in and out quickly while securing Stark’s aide and both of them believed fully that Loki’s presence would do anything but help matters, Stark seemed stressed enough without a familiar face from his recurring nightmares. 

“Ross is behind this as well, the timing otherwise is too perfect. He’s making sure we don’t have powerful allies readily available to us like the Avengers.” He’s tied Stark up with red tape, used everything he could to split the Avengers down the middle, and when it seemed that wouldn’t matter, that they’d continue on like a phoenix rebirthed, different but capable, something had happened to ruin it once more. “But Stark is a strong man, he will get them out of this one way or another. Until then, we will simply have to save Banner ourselves.”

Loki nodded his assent, “Strange may be able to find him, his magic is similar to the one that took him after all. So we do not have nothing in the way of hope.” 

It was optimistic, but optimism was all they had at the moment. That and the collective rage of the Asgardian people. 

“And if that doesn’t work we can always just tear the planet apart piece by piece. We may not have much military might, but we are Asgard and it was foolish of the humans to pick a fight with us” Loki said,  playing with one of his favorite daggers.

“The humans didn’t pick this fight, brother.” Thor swiped at his dagger, attempting to nick it from his grip and almost lost a finger for his effort, “and I like this planet”

“I don’t”

“That is because everytime you’re here, you’re picking fights with it”

“I wasn’t picking a fight this time,” Loki countered, putting his dagger back wherever it was he kept them. 

“Perhaps, let us check back in with Heimdal, his eyes may have seen something in the time we were apart. Perhaps he will know whether your Midgardian Wizard has anything yet”

“Wh- He- He’s not  _ My _ Wizard!”

 

Stephen was back at the sanctum, his hands moving fluidly and practiced as he weaved spell after spell. It was useless, nothing he did helped to locate Bruce or Hulk. Their essence was so weak, it was as if they were not on the planet at all. If he could describe it, he’d say it was as if someone had found a way to make him completely disappear from the surface of the planet. 

So next, Stephen checked the mirror dimension. Then he checked other dimensions, anything short of Dormammu's realm, anywhere he thought Mordo might have access to. Then, he started looking further, delving into deeper magics, grasping for straw after straw after straw and coming up short. 

“Dammit!” He shouted, slamming his already fragile hands against the hardwood table. It hurt, and he found himself nursing them absent-mindedly as he fought against his own painfully apparent incompetence. Mordo had been better than him, studied longer, worked harder. He had an entire lifetime of experience that Stephen had looked up to and ignored in favor of finding every new thing he could, every shortcut he could take. Who knows where he could have hidden him. 

“You think too much,” Wong said, placing a cup of tea before him. It was not completely full, Wong having left room at the top in case his hands shook as he tried to drink it. They did.

“How am I supposed to find him without thinking Wong?” 

He shrugged, “Where are you looking?” he asked instead, changing the subject at Stephen’s sharp tone. Wong was good at not getting into arguments with him, too used to it Stephen supposed. 

“That’s just it, I’ve looked quite literally everywhere.” he muttered, frustrated, “I can’t even find so much as a magical barrier strong enough to even house the Hulk, much less one that could hide him entirely from view”

“well, he’s clearly not wherever you’re looking”

“I’ve noticed, keen observation there. Whatever will I do without you?” Stephen said, his voice dry. 

“So look somewhere else”

Stephen threw up his hands, “There  _ is _ nowhere else!” he cried, “He’s not in this dimension, he’s not in another dimension, he’s not in space-”

Wong cut him off, “Heimdal would look in those places”

“Well, yes” Stephen agreed, “But he’s blocked from Heimdal’s vision”

“Is he? Or is he simply hidden somewhere Heimdal wouldn’t think to look? It seems to me that would be easier than hiding magic from someone known for his Omniscience”

Stephen allowed Wong’s argument to ruminate in his mind, turning it over and over again, savoring it like a dog with a bone.

“Wong you’re a genius.” he smiled, finally taking a sip of his own tea, “I’ve been looking in magic places that one could access with the right knowledge and understanding, or places that are non-magic in nature that one doesn’t need magic to access. What if he’s somewhere non-magic in and of itself, but inaccessible to someone without magic.”

He brought the tea to his lips and took a sip, savoring it. 

“Wong, what if he’s underground?”

 

“Oh?” The voice said, “didn’t I mention you couldn’t get out? I suppose I phrased it wrong. You see the only entrance is through me and my portals. We’re hundreds of feet underground too, so even your green friend would have trouble digging his way out. Clever isn’t it?”

Bruce slumped onto the ground, he’d failed. He couldn’t protect Hulk, he couldn’t even protect himself!  _ Puny Banner.  _ Yeah, Hulk was right, he really was pathetic.  _ No. Not pathetic Puny. Hulk protect. _

Banner just frowned before addressing their company aloud, “why are you helping Ross anyways? Wouldn’t he want to suppress you and people like you the same way he does everyone else? If someone like his thinks there’s a whole group of Midgardians going around using magic like Wanda he could start a modern witch hunt”

“Yes, that is the goal. Good night Dr Banner.” the voice faded, or perhaps that was Bruce’s own consciousness. The next thing he knew he was in his room in Avenger’s tower, Hulk standing across from him. 

He turned away, frustration building in the back of his mind no matter how much he tried to surpress it, “I know, puny Banner, can’t even do one thing right.” he felt like a pot about to boil over, “I can’t protect you even though-” his voice caught, even in his dreams he couldn’t so much as get through a sentence without breaking.

He couldn’t bare to turn around, if he was this much of an emotional wreck, who knew what Hulk was feeling right now. Bruce held back a sob, his hand still hurt too. What was even the point in having a dream if he was still going to feel like shit the entire time. 

“Banner hurt” Hulk’s voice was closer than he’d expected, but before he could fully turn around to see just how close, he found himself enveloped in a strong, green, hug. “Hulk not like”

Hulk started patting his head, gently. And Bruce found himself stunned, unable to move but surrounded by warmth. The tears he’d been blinking back found their way to the corners of his eyes again an as he moved to rub them away he noticed his entire face was wet with them. 

In that moment, it was like a dam had burst and Bruce found himself crying into his other half, in an imagined room he had once called home, in what was likely a hallucinatory dream created by an evil magician whose apparent goal was making the world into a 15th century Salem. But he wasn’t thinking about that, in fact, he wasn’t thinking at all. He was crying and receiving comfort, because in that moment that was all he could do. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so less action than I promised, but that's because I realized I actually had to set up the action before I could really get into it. So, as an apology, I give you this chapter a bit early, since it's pretty boring and I left you with a cliffhanger last time.


	20. Mordo, I think you mean Mor-no

“Heimdall!” Thor greeted his old friend as they entered the newly minted “Save Banner” room, Valkyrie and a few others were there as well, going over maps of Midgard and narrowing down where Heimdall could and could not see. Piece by piece they were knocking out buildings, roads, caves, and entire cities. But it was slow work, and Thor still had hope that Loki’s wizard friend would find him faster, but it was something they could do short of waging war on the planet.

Then again, Thor mused, if it truly came to that-

“Greetings, my King, prince Loki.” Heimdall inclined his head and walked over to them.

“Any news old man?” Loki asked,he picked at his nails, not making eye contact.

“Yes, I am gladdened by your presence, it saved me the trouble of seeking you out. It seems that the good doctor has stumbled upon an epiphany-”

“Truly?” Thor asked, his heart sped up, thumping loudly in his throat.

He nodded,“I shall send you immediately.”

“No, Heimdall. Save your strength, do not think I am ignorant of the effort you have spent thus far in this quest. It is not far, we shall, what so the Midgardians say?” he looked towards his brother.

“Hail a cab?”

“Yes, that right, we’ll uber” Thor smiled as hi brother rolled his eyes,

“Do you even have that app on your phone?”

“Phone?”

“I know you know what a phone is Thor! I’ve seen you use them!”

The two continued to bicker as they left the room, the rest of the occupants turning back to their work the second the distraction was gone.

“Worry not my King, we will find him”

 

“Stephen Strange” Mordo snarled, appearing in a burst of light. It was no doubt because he felt Stephens’ familiar magic prodding at the shields he had carefully crafted around Banner. His goal was likely to end Stephens’ involvement now, before he got too close, and while he was no doubt confident in his ability to use magic and keep hidden, he was unlikely to be confident enough to believe he could fend off an entire Asgardian force hellbent on ruining whatever his plans were.

“Mordo,” Stephen said, carefully speaking around a lump in his throat. It was a sad sight, a man he had looked up to and considered a friend, now fighting against him on opposite sides. Is this what Tony Stark felt when he found himself fighting Captain America? It hurt.

“I can see you never learned to mind your own business”

“I can see you never learned to do anything that doesn’t involve immediately kissing up to an authority figure.”

He laughed. “No, I suppose I haven’t.” He looked around, surrounded by memories no doubt bittersweet to him now. They were certainly bittersweet to Stephen, who watched his enemy carefully, making note of every movement and getting ready to react should he so much as attack. “I can’t let you find him Stephen, he’s integral to my plans.”

“Your plans to start the next witch hunts?” Stephen scowled, the question left a bitter taste in his mouth. He knew the answer.

Mordo just smiled. “Magic is just another way of disrupting the order of the universe. By using it we invite chaos, I’m only attempting to minimize the damage”

“And then what? Once everyone with magic is dead-”

“I don’t want them dead, I only kill them if they give me no-”

“Oh _Sorry_ , let me rephrase that. Don’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities and all that.” Mordo just crossed his arms, an unamused look in his eyes. “Once magic is obliterated from this world and you have the blood of countless others on your hands, what then? Do you get to keep using magic, do you give it up? Do you keep it around just in case you might one day need it, or would that make you a hypocrite? Doesn’t it make you one now? Or, you know what, maybe you do give it up, practice what you preach and all. What happens then, when you need it? Or did you not think that far- ?”

“You’re stalling” he said, cutting into Stephen’s monologue. “That means you know someone that can help is on the way here, Stephen, you’re not giving me much of a choice.”

“Oh please,” Stephen felt the palms of his hands get clammy, he fought the urge to wipe them on his pants, “like you didn’t come through that portal with the intent to kill me from the start.”

Mordo inclined his head, “perhaps” and then suddenly he whipped his hands forward in a movement so fast Stephen almost missed the spell he was using.

Would have, in fact, if he hadn’t been waiting for it.

He dodged the whip by falling into a portal and sent his cloak to block off Mordo’s vision. He used the momentum of his fall to land on him from behind, stephen had gotten the idea from playing portal, a game he was now quite fond of since he could test out a few of its theories.

His kick sent Mordo stumbling forward, but he was greeted one of his own bookshelves attacking and attempting to entrap him in its wood. He fought his way out with a makeshift axe, made from the materials around him, only to need it immediately as Mordo attempted to stab him with an elegant almost rapiere-like sword. They parried for a bit before Stephen attempted to trip the other man up by catching his foot in the floor, only to miss that Mordo had created another whip, and used it to grab his own leg. They both fell to the ground.

The floor disappeared, and Stephen crashed onto the hard linoleum a story beneath them while Mordo landed gently on the balls of his feet. A fleeting thought crossed his mind, what did Mordo do to his cloak? But he barely had time to think it before he was being sent through another wall, then another, and then the ceiling, and Mordo really needed to get his anger checked. Stephen put up a shield as fast as he could, to protect from the next attack and started thinking fast. If anything he should have gotten _better_ at these one on one fights since he’d met Loki. So why did he feel like he was running low on ideas?

“It’s because I know you, I was there when you trained, I _helped train you._ ” Mordo took a step closer, he looked a bit worse for wear, but he had no doubt that he looked better than Stephen- I just got thrown through like four walls- Strange. “I know all your tricks.”

“Not all of them” Strange said from behind him, stabbing him with a dagger in the small sliver of his chest that would miss anything important, like his heart. “I learned that one from a new friend of mine,” his double on the ground smiled and waved before fading into nothingness and Stephen took advantage of Mordo’s temporary shock to lock him down as tightly as he could, not allowing for movement or speech.

It wouldn’t hold him long, but maybe it would hold long enough. He left the dagger in though, it wouldn’t due to have him bleed out after all.

...perhaps he _had_ been spending too much time with Loki.

 

“Thor,” Loki said, stopping the two of them in front of Strange’s home. “There’s an unfamiliar magic… Be careful, and _don’t touch anything_ ”

Thor just nodded and followed his brother as he entered the Sanitorium. It looked different from how Thor saw it last no doubt, since they were currently looking at the actual layout of the building and not a complicated web of spells meant to throw someone off the trail of Magic and it’s possibilities.

Oh, and also the giant hole in the ceiling and a few of the walls. That was new.

Loki stepped over a suspiciously Stephen-shaped hole in the ground and started looking around, using his magic to feel for and predict any possible threats.

“HELLO! WIZARD! WE HAVE RETURNED FOR NEWS OF BANNER!” Thor shouted into the echoing silence. Loki grabbed a dagger and made to turn around, perhaps cutting out his brother’s tongue would teach him how to stay silent, it certainly wouldn’t hurt.

“I’m up here!” Loki faltered, his heart skipping. It wasn’t as if he was worried, but it would have been… regrettable had something happened to the wizard. He had potential and was fun to mess with and- and-

Dammit he didn’t need to make excuses in his own head, he could save that for when Thor was the one questioning him. He felt his cheeks warm.

They went up the previously elegant staircase, prompting Loki to wonder if there was ever a week when this Midgardian’s home wasn’t destroyed by something or another. Strange was sitting against a wall, looking like he’d just dug himself up from Helheim and performing some kind of magic.

He looked up at them, meeting Loki’s eyes and smiled. It was a soft thing, barely there, but it shot straight through Loki in a way he certainly hadn’t expected and he found himself wanting to clutch at his heart. Like- like some kind of school girl with a crush.

“Glad you could make it,” He wheezed, breathing didn’t seem to come easily to him as it should and Loki took a step closer only to find himself blocked by his brother’s unnecessarily massive biceps.

“Who’s that over there?” Thor asked, pointing towards a clearly angry and struggling man, completely tied down with what looked like magic whips, and twisted bits of floor?

“Is that a knife in his chest? Did you stab someone?” He almost laughed, maybe he could learn new tricks.

“That’s Mordo, he’s the one who took Bruce, I’ve been trying to get into his mind to find the location, but doing that _and_ holding him down has me at my limits.” He sighed, not lowering his arms, or stopping his spell.

“We can help with that” Loki looked up at his brother, one could have been fooled by the tone of his voice, believing him to be unbothered and almost jovial, but Loki knew better. He could see the dark shadows in his brother’s eyes, and the rage he was holding back, rage that was pointed clearly at their unwilling company.

Thor picked him up, avoiding the knife, but not bothering to be gentle, and held him firmly between his hands. With the difference in shear strength there was simply no way the man would be able to move.

Strange dropped the whips, and the man immediately tried to struggle. It did him no good and the only response he got was for Thor to lift him a foot further off the ground so that his flailing legs could only kick at air.

“Damn you Strange! You would doom the world before giving up the comforts magic has bestowed upon you”

Strange flinched, “that's Not was this is about Mordo, not right now. You have a friend of ours, and we’d like to know where you’ve kept him.”

“Or what? You’ll pry it from my brain? Use another forbidden spell? Delve where you’re not wanted?”

Loki rolled his eyes, what a load of lark. No wonder Midgardian magic was so weak, they had spells that were forbidden? What’s even the point then? What absolute dolt would make a useful or powerful spell and the be like, _nooo you can’t use that! It’s forbidden!!_

It’s not like that would ever stop Loki from learning a spell, and he from what he knew of Strange, he doubted it would stop him either.

“Yes, actually, that was my plan. Hold still please, this shouldn’t hurt a bit” he said, before making a complicated but elegant hand gesture and speaking a contract into existence to ask for power. Loki licked his lips.

The room filled a bright light that suddenly shrunk and focused on a small spot on the villain’s forehead, seeming to dig into it if his screams of pain were anything to go by.

“Quick!” Strange suddenly shouted, “before I have to disconnect!”

He made a portal, somehow, but it was unstable and about to collapse. Just like Strange. Loki and Thor shared a look before he found himself catching an angry and beat up captive as his brother raced through the portal. It closed behind him.

“I hope that was the right place,” Loki said, hefting the struggling prisoner onto his shoulder and looking back at Strange.

He had expected a confident if not snarky reply despite the man’s exhaustion, one he could respond to and continue a small session of banter while he did something with the _problem_ kickin him repeatedly in the shin.

He did not expect a gentle snoring sound that had him dropping his human cargo like a sack of potatoes and turning to look at a sleeping Stephen. A very cute and vulnerable looking Stephen that had Loki thinking mischievous thoughts he usually avoided in situations like these, but that were suddenly in the forefront of his mind.

He blinked. He then turned to grab the other human again only to notice he had gotten his arms free and was making a portal directly beneath him- _shit._

He had reacted too late and the man had disappeared. Oh well, he didn’t want to carry the bastard anyways.

He turned back to the sleeping man and picked him up instead, sure he could go to a Midgardian doctor, maybe even a magical one, if they had those, but Loki would feel better if- er, Loki was confident their doctors would be better. And he was not a stranger himself to magical exhaustion.

Stephen was light, all Midgardians were really, and it was easy to pull him into his arms and have him lean his head against Loki’s shoulder. Loki even felt his breath hitch when the man shifted in his arms and curled further against him, as if attracted by his heat.

Loki moves quickly, ignoring the destruction of the once beautiful Sanctum and going out the front door. The cab had waited for them, and took a double take when he noticed Loki’s companion was decidedly different looking from the one earlier. But if had questions he didn’t voice them and was perfectly happy to drive the couple- the two of them! _the two of them_ back to New Asgard.

Loki allowed the man’s soft breaths lull him into a sense of peace, drowning out his fears and anxieties of what else awaited them on this planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the fight scene was exciting enough for everyone! I’m not super good at figuring out how Strange’s magic works so I kinda just watched the fight scenes from his movie and based it a bit around those. And also, y’all asked for LokixStrange so HERE YOU GO! Next chapter will have Brucie in it I promise!


	21. I Knew You’d Come for Me

Banner was curled against the wall, shaking, with his eyes shut tight. He didn’t even notice the bright light or Thor as he entered, too trapped in his own mind. As Thor stepped closer, the portal shut behind him and he was enveloped at once by the weight of the darkness around him. It was cold, and he felt a chill run up his spine. He found himself hoping they had not kept his dear friend in such a room for the entire time they had him, but he was not optimistic.

He took another step forward but hesitated, it was too dark to see and he didn’t want to flat out step on Banner, so he built up electricity in his hands. It was not difficult, the frustration and anger he felt was almost enough to fuel all of Asgard, and it only increased when the carnage of the room was revealed.

He swallowed.

There was a chair, in the middle of the room, with chains around it. It was knocked over and a large puddle of blood had collected beneath it, but that wasn’t all, there was a trail of that same blood that lead in a messy line to a small table with a number of instruments stacked on and scattered around it.  But the trail didn’t stop there, Thor’s eyes followed the trail as it circled the room, once, twice, three times, maybe more. It looked as if someone had played a ghastly game of ring-around-the-Rosie, or Banner had been looking for a door. Because the trail led right back to where he was huddled in on himself.

Thor released his lightning, the room going dark once more, and finally made his way all the way over.

“Banner” he whispered, unwilling to fully break the quiet. “Banner, it’s me, Thor”

Banner started muttering to himself, he could barely make out the words. Something about Hulk, an apology, a whimper…

“Banner!” He shout-whispered, trying to get his attention without startling him too much, “Banner! It’s me!! You’re best friend! The strongest Avenger!”

It didn’t work. Weird, that one usually got at least _something_ from him. Or Hulk.

He tried phase two and gently placed a hand on Banner’s shoulder. He jumped immediately, his voice loud now, no longer the soft muttering of before.

“Who’s there?? Ross? Where are we! Where did you take me you-“ Thor took his hand away as Banner flailed, not wanting to make him any more nervous than he already was.

“No! No, it’s me! _Thor_!” He tried again.

“Thor?” Banner whispered back, “now I know I’m going crazy…”

Banner had stopped fighting and Thor felt a hand against his face. He let it explore as he tried to explain his presence, the hand halted slightly at his eyepatch.

“No, I’m here to help, I’m going to get you out of here.” He reaches forward again only to quite suddenly get an armful of Beautiful Scientist as Banner tackled him. He’s knocked down and instinctively tightens his hold on the other man, who starts shaking. And crying.

“I’m so sorry!” He sobs into Thor’s shoulder, “I didn’t mean- he didn’t- we- we’re in so much pain Thor. It…”

he pulls even closer, a feat Thor did not think possible, and speaks into his chest. Thor can barely make out the words, but when he does his blood goes cold.

“It hurts so much Thor. _It hurts, it hurts it hurts it hurts”_

“Shhh” he pats Banner gently on the back, soothing his hand along the man’s spine. It seemed that at least his back had been spared the brunt of the torture. Likely due to him being chained to the chair in the middle of the room. Thor’s hand falters, before he resumes again, the knowledge of what Banner must have been through hitting him once again.

“Everything will be okay, Im here now. Nothing more will happen to you. I promise….. I promise”

They stayed there for an eternity as Thor soothed Banner and Banner released every feeling and tear that had built up and been hidden away from his captors. When Banner had eventually calmed Thor heard him mutter something into his shoulder.

“What was that?”

“I uh… I said, we knew you’d save us. Well, I did anyways. Hulk was less optimistic”

“You’ve spoken with him?”

“Uh yeah? That magic dude did something when he tried to force a hulk out, it, well I’m not really sure? It did something. We chat now”

Thor thought of the time in Sakaar when he told the both of them how they were his favorite, and all the other times he had simply assumed they couldn’t actually communicate with each other and felt himself go red.

But that was a discussion for another time, right now he had his hands full- quite literally- with Banner alone. He may sound calm, but Thor could still feel the shutters as they ran through his body. He likely would not be able to fully calm down until they got out of Ross’ prison, but without the wizard’s portals he had no idea when that would be. He could only hope it would be soon.

“I’m gonna, I’m going to sleep now.” Banner said, nuzzling into Thor, settling into his embrace. “When I see Hulk I’ll tell him you did come, you came to save me”

Banner must have been exhausted, his words has started slurring and made little sense as he mumbled his way into unconsciousness. But nonetheless Thor found himself responding,

“Goodnight Bruce”

“Goodnight Thor” he yawned, “I love you”. And with that Banner slipped into a sound sleep.

Thor, however, found himself frozen in place, his arms locking around the man using him as a pillow and teddy bear. The air around him went static and the room was suddenly lit as Thor lost control of his lightning.

He almost panicked, he didn’t want to wake up Banner after all, and certainly not with something as unpleasant as an electric shock, but found that his lightning simply slipped over and around the other man, a harmless current, no different than how it treated his own self.

Blushing, Thor merely adjusted the two of them into a more comfortable position before settling in for a long wait.

 

Loki was _not_ a nursemaid, so why was it that Heimdall insisted he sit at the mortals bedside? It wasn’t like he was invested in the man! He could care less if he suddenly died. Not that he would, he was far too stubborn to perish so easily.

Strange’s breath hitches and Loki rushes to his side to make sure that everything was okay, Strange was still asleep, but he was on the edges of waking. Nothing to worry about.

Not that Loki was worried.

Strange’s sleeping face was soft and relaxed, it made him look younger, vulnerable, and had Loki wondering exactly how many people he had allowed to see him like that. Wong surely, perhaps a few ex’s if he had any. But he couldn’t imagine it being a common sight.

He looked around, no one else was here, so it wouldn’t hurt if… Loki shook his head. There was no way Heimdall wasn’t watching, yet, his brother was missing. Surely his attention would be on that instead.

Having made up his mind Loki slipped an iPhone from his sleeve and took a picture of Strange’s sleeping face, it would be good blackmail material, he told himself as he set about taking a few more.

After a few minutes Strange opened his eyes slowly, blinking them multiple times to make sure he got the sand out, and sat up.

“So you survived,” Loki drawled, his eyes subtly checking over the wizard as he looked around”

Strange glanced over at him, “Are we at one of Stark’s properties?”

Loki nodded, “New Asgard, as Thor has dubbed it, it’s our Base of operations at the moment. And our home for the time being”

Strange’s eyes seemed to soften when he said that, and Loki found himself quirking an eyebrow. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Strange blushed and stumbled over his next words, “I wasn’t looking at you like anything! I just…” he looked back, “you never told me what happened to your old home.”

“Asgard?” Loki found himself asking, “oh please, that was hardly my home. Unless you mean Jotunheim? That place I tried to destroy myself before Thor stopped me. Not that I haven’t tried to destroy Asgard before…”

Strange just rolled his eyes, “figured you’d pretend it doesn’t matter to you,” he muttered, clearly not intending Loki to hear. Unfortunate, then, that he had superior hearing to most mortals.

He was even about to retort when Strange suddenly changed the subject.

“Did you find where I sent Thor?”

Loki flinched, it had been almost twenty-four hours since he’d seen his brother disappear through the portal to find Banner and yet they were no closer to figuring out where exactly the two of them were than they had been before.

“Than what am I doing here? I need to-“

Loki pushes the man down as he scrambled to get out of bed, it was easy with his superior strength and would have been even if Strange wasn’t weak from the events of the day prior.

“What you need to do, mortal, is rest. You almost killed yourself yesterday and I’m sure you have at least someone who would care if you died”

“What? That’s not…” Strange calmed down as he realized there was no way for him to get up at the moment and decided to argue verbally instead. “Listen, Loki” he felt warmth low in his gut as the man said his name, something primal reacting to the soft way Strange formed the words. Like a prayer. “I’m the only one who knows how to get there, where that portal leads I have to-“

“How much magic do you have left right now?” Loki asked, leaning closer and putting more weight on the other man as he held him down. It should be enough to restrict, but not hurt. He didn’t really want to hurt him, not at the moment anyways.

“I have…. enough?” He tried, Loki rolled his eyes and sat back, allowing the Midgardian to sit up.

“We can wait until you’ve fully recovered, my brother is with him now so there is no hurry. And Heimdall has narrowed the search radius significantly in the time you’ve been asleep.” Loki net his eyes, “you’ve done plenty, I’m sure Heimdall would love to tell you all about how Asgard owes you a great debt and blah blah blah”

He looked back at the man, he was sitting in a makeshift hospital bed with injuries that could have killed him if they’d been just a little deeper, just a little to the left in some cases, and felt something almost like an urge to protect him. Like the way a human would want to protect a wet kitten? Is that what he was feeling? Strange was certainly cute enough.

“What would you care? You’ve hated me from the start so why now are you suddenly-“

Loki hadn’t liked the scorn in his tone, was it so strange- er weird that he didn’t want this particular human dead? He found himself insulted that Strange doubted his feeling were genuine and had been overcome with the urge to show him exactly what he had felt, and found himself moving to do exactly that.

The kiss was nice, a soft, delicate brush of lips and Loki held his composure through it. He even continued to hold his composure after, as he stood back up, and as he left the room.

In fact, it wasn’t until after he was in his _own_ room that he allowed himself to think about what he had just done and felt his entire face catch on fire.

Stephen, meanwhile, was still sitting there, hands delicately lifted to his own lips, as he too slowly realized what had happened.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did mention it was a slow-burn at some point right? Do you feel like the kiss was too sudden? I mean... I only have two chapters left and I want to focus a bit more on Banner and Thor in the next one so....


	22. And They Live Happily Ever After

Bruce woke up to light.

It was blue, and electric and seemed to fill the room, dancing from corner to corner, pulsing and flashing. He blinked wearily as he slowly realized just where the light was coming from.

He was leaning against Thor, er- more like cuddled with him. His arms were wrapped around the deity’s torso, his head was tucked in against his chest, and if he looked down he noticed he was sitting pretty solidly in Thor’s lap.

“Oh, you’re awake. Did you sleep well?”

Banner nodded, Thor had made no move to separate them, so he figured he’d bask in his warmth for just a bit longer. It had been sometime since he’d had physical comfort like this, he was gonna take what he could get.

“It’s beautiful” Bruce said, talking about the dancing lightning around them.

“Thank you” Thor’s chest rumbled as he spoke and Banner felt himself relax further into it. “It happens when my emotions get the best of me it seems… even when I’m not fighting, or wishing to fight”

“Fascinating… it doesn’t hurt.” It almost seemed like a foreign concept at this point, but Bruce found himself reaching out towards one of the bolts and catching it in his hand, it slithered up his arm like an eel, disappearing and leaving only a faint trace of static electricity behind in its wake. “How did you manage that?”

Thor shrugged, “I’m not sure? It may be that it’s an extension of my self, of my own will and acts upon things how I wish.”

Bruce nodded along, that made sense.

“Or perhaps it simply likes you” Thor finished and looked down at him, a soft smile decorating his face.

Bruce felt himself blush. Suddenly remembering the night before. Had it been night? It certainly seemed so in comparison to the brightness of the storm they were a part of at the moment. He had been tired, almost delirious even. In fact, he’d been mostly convinced that Thor was yet another illusion created by Mordo, or even a trick of his mind, a subconscious desire that made reality what he so hoped to be true.

That all combined had caused him to say some rather… embarrassing things.

Well, one. One embarrassing thing in particular.

“Uhh… Thor? Listen-“

“Yes Banner?” Thor turned towards him, all puppy eyed and adorable. Damn it. Even the lightning seemed to do the equivalent of a dog wagging its tail.

“About what I said-“

“Worry not! A true warrior can show emotion when he feels weak to those he trusts. I will not hold against you your pain”

Bruce winced, curling into himself even further. He went to fiddle with his hands but his thumb throbbed with the effort and he dropped them instead. “That too, but I meant after. When I… well you know… after we said. Holy shit this is embarrassing.”

Who would’ve thought he could still get red in the face after losing that much blood?

“Ah, you speak of your declaration of love?”

“Don’t call it that-“

“‘‘Tis most fortuitous I think, for I love thee as well” His smile looked like it could outshine the sun, then again, maybe that was the lightning.

“Thor your Asgardian is showing. And I know- I mean. Ugh. How do I-?” Bruce fought with himself.

Does he backtrack? Does he pretend he never said it? Or does he just… admit the truth? That he’s in love with Thor and has been since that day on Sakaar when Thor didn’t push him off a cliff just to get Hulk back. And yeah! Maybe his standards were _way_ too low at that point, but since then he’s fallen deeper and deeper in love with him every single day. When he smiles and has a joke ready when Bruce is panicking that they’re all going to die, the way he so obviously loves his brother but refuses to take any shit without giving at least an equal amount back, the way he adjusts his strength for him but not enough that Bruce feels like he’s wearing kiddy gloves, and especially the way he accepts Hulk and Bruce equally. He was never scared of Hulk, and he never demanded Bruce transform to get them out of a bad situation.

It had gotten so bad that Bruce found himself falling a little more every time he so much looked his way and it was now or never so-

“I think I’m in love with you? No, wait. I don’t think, sorry that… I am _definitely_ in love with you.”

Bruce had closed his eyes to give himself the courage to confess, but now he cracked them open, slowly, desperate to see his friends reaction.

To his surprise, Thor’s expression did not change. He still looked like a golden retriever that had just been promised a treat and was sitting excitedly for it.

“Yes” he said, “and I love you too”

Bruce sighed, “No Thor, I mean like. Romantically? Like in a gay- well I’m not 100% gay myself, but in a gay way. I love you… gayly”

Bruce was still mostly in Thor’s lap, but instead of being tucked against him and speaking into his chest, he had sat back to face him properly.

“I don’t think you’re getting it. I kind of dream about kissing you under the stars and waking up to you in the mornings? Because I am very much in love with you, Thor Odinson”

Thor’s expression finally changed, a realization softening his features. “You want to kiss me?” He asked, his voice gentle.

“Yes?” Bruce tried not to cry, he knew he was going to get rejected, what did he even have to offer in the first place? It’s not like Thor Odinson was lacking in Roman-

And suddenly he was being pulled gently foreword and lips were on his and it was the most wonderful sensation in the world and Bruce thought he could die happy just then.

Thor pulled back and Bruce felt himself follow before realizing and pulling back himself. He was sure his face was beet-red. Hopefully it would be hard to see in the blue of the lightning.

“All you need do is ask” Thor whispered.

“What- why?” Bruce found himself stumbling over the question.

Thor just smiled and pulled him closer, “because I, Thor Odinson, am deeply, madly in love with you Bruce Banner.” He chuckled and added “in the gay way, as you said”

Bruce saw stars. “Wait really?!”

“Really, I thought perhaps I was being too obvious in courting you but it seems-“

“Wait, courting me?” Bruce was so excited he didn’t realize just how close him and Thor had gotten after their kiss, and couldn’t be bothered with it now. Thor was in love with him!

“Yes! I looked up Midgardian customs, we watched movies and went on dates and-“

“Holy shit-“

“And I-“

“Wait… Wait have we been dating this entire time?!”

He looked up at Thor’s face, eager and open and realized that yes. They had in fact been dating and it was apparently _Bruce_ that hadn’t been smart enough to get the memo.

“Ugh” he moaned, leaning back into Thor’s very nice chest. “Kill me”

Thor just laughed, “despite my strength I doubt I would so easily succeed at such a task”

“You’re right. Hulk would mop the floor with you”

“Well, I wouldn’t say _that_ ”

“Of course not, you have that Asgardian pride after all” he said, leaning closer. His eyes caught on Thor’s lips before dancing their way up to meet his eyes. Thor’s cheeks had a pleasant dusting of red in them that only made Bruce want to pull him closer.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asked, his breath soft against Thor’s lips.

He simply nodded, his voice seemingly caught in his throat. Bruce smiled and leaned closer when all of a sudden the entire room started to shake.

“What’s happening?” He shouted, falling off if Thor and trying, unsuccessfully, to stand. He was still too weak, a small nap doesn’t do much to replenish lost blood or heal serious injuries.

“I was hoping you would know, I take it this is new?”

Bruce just stared at his boyfriend. Wait, were they boyfriends? Holy shit, was Thor his boyfriend???

Thor smiled and shrugged, easily able to stand.

It seemed like the room was going to just shake for sometime, without doing much else when suddenly the ceiling started caving in. Thor dived towards Bruce and covered him entirely as the room fell apart around them.

Then suddenly, everything was still. He peaked around Thor and saw the remains of the room that had been his prison. And standing in the middle of those ruins, next to a very sleek looking drill, was Tony Stark himself. The man grinned and called up, what must have been hundreds of feet of solid Earth.

“Beam us up Scotty! We found them!”

 

Tony Stark had done it, somehow. He’d allocated every research once Sam had come to him with news of Banners disappearance. Even Steve had helped, at least, he thinks he did. He left talking to the captain to literally anyone else and wasn’t about to change that.

But they’d had no luck locating him by normal means, and apparently no luck locating him with mystical means and that was when he’d heard, while speaking with Heimdall about it, that they might have hid him underground.

And suddenly Tony knew exactly what he had to do. He worked tirelessly on a drill that could dig straight through the entire Earths crust if he so wanted and set an algorithm for Friday that had her identifying any and every shift of the earth’s crust. After that he simply had to narrow the time frame and take a wild freaking guess at where someone like Ross would want to hide something he’d been obsessing over for years. He ended up choosing the one in Alaska.

And he was right. He had dug all the way to them and now? Now Heimdall could see.

 

Thor found himself clinging onto Bruce as Heimdall used his power to pull them, and Tony back to New Asgard. He didn’t want to risk letting go, and losing him again. When they got there, he was surprised to see all of Asgard there waiting for them. Even Loki was there, standing off to Heimdall’s side, clearly avoiding looking at anyone, likely due to the fact that next to him, in a wheelchair was the human wizard, Professor Unusual. In fact, despite their close proximity they both seemed to be decidedly avoiding each other.

Valkyrie was on Heimdall’s other side, with Agnar and Sam, and now that Thor really looked, the other Avengers were here too, standing intermixed with his people.

“Welcome Home, Banner” Heimdall said, and a chorus followed. Welcome home, long time no see, it’s been a while, every single person here was calling out to him.

Thor looked over to Banner, there were tears dancing at the corners of his eyes. He tried to step forward but found himself stumbling and suddenly his skin was green and the Hulk was running full tilt towards a group of people that weren’t running away and Thor could hear laughter and Hulk saying “Friends! Hulk miss friends!”

The merry green giant found himself tackled by dozens of super humans and Asgardians and was clearly thrilled even as eventually the green faded and Banner stood there instead. Equally thrilled to be standing amongst friends but significant more injured than his counterpart.

Thor noticed Loki nod at him and try to slip away from the festivities when Banner suddenly caught him in a full bear-hug and Strange laughed, only to have to dodge the dagger thrown his way.

Thor smiled, his family was whole in a way it hadn’t been for a long time. He felt Tony pat his shoulder, “You know Poindexter? I think he’s probably gonna need help, you should get in there.” Then he smiled and walked into the fray himself, “Kid, you aren’t allowed near the Asgardian Brandy so don’t even think about it! No I don’t care that Steve said you could!”

He took a breath, his eyes sought out Banner once more, and he walked towards him.

At this point he was being mostly held up by Loki, and Loki didn’t look thrilled by it, but he’d yet to push him off so there was that. “Please collect your boyfriend, or I will drop him.”

“A light threat, brother. You usually have more bite than that” he joked, taking Banner from him and gathering him into his arms.

“True, but I’d hate to kill the party by getting rid of the guest of honor”

“I suppose you would, come Bruce, let’s get you to the infirmary”

And with that, the two of them walked out of the room. And Thor felt something warm settle in his chest, a weight he’d never felt before, one that had him feeling full and got caught at some point in his throat, making it difficult to speak. Or at least to do so without whatever it was brimming over the edge.

He looked down at Banner, Banner looked up at him, and suddenly he knew.

He was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go folks!!! Hope you’ve liked it so far.


	23. The End

__“Are you ready to go yet?” Loki complained, loudly, again.

“Almost!” Bruce shouted back, finishing up what was left of his packing. He looked around the room he’d been staying in since he’d become an Avenger, the entire floor had been his at one point, but since more people were joining, the demand for rooms had gone up. There was an Ant-man and a Spider-Man, and a Wasp! What was with all the bug themes? Maybe he and hulk could have been the, uh… Bruce thought for a moment, but was unable to think of a large green bug famous for its strength so instead he just kinda settled on The Radioactive Cockroach: just try and kill me bitch. In case anyone asked.

Of course there was also hope that even more people could join up, boost their numbers since the two strongest Avengers likely wouldn’t be around much. Traveling through space made it difficult to be around in times of specific planetary crisis, but they’d be in call at least.

So Tony had declared this floor the Science-nerd floor, and Thor’s old floor the Asgard floor.  Bruce has been allowed to pick which one he wanted to stay during their visits to earth and he’d chosen the share a room with Thor, much to his boyfriends delight, and Tony’s kid, one of the bug people, was going to take his room. He seemed a little too excited for that and Tony had responded by faking a hurt look and then telling him everything he didn’t take with him would be moved upstairs, or stolen by the kid.

Clearing his mind and making sure the room was empty, Bruce made sure he grabbed his favorite poster and rolled it up, stuffing it into his bag before he exited the room to see an annoyed Loki.

“It’s about time, if Thor hadn’t declared me your temporary babysitter I would have left without you.”

“I know Loki.” Bruce said, walking alongside his friend as they left the tower. He looked back on it, and said a mental goodbye.

“I’m not kidding, seriously. With how long you took, one would think you were leaving something important behind. But honestly this planet is probably one of the worst we’ve had the displeasure of-“

“Oh! Look who it is!” Bruce interrupted Loki’s daily tirade and pointed to the corner of the street where a well-kept, if oddly dressed man had been standing, clearly waiting for someone.

Bruce grinned as Loki froze up and started to blush, “Don’t. Go. Anywhere.” He growled and then stormed his way over to the man. They seemed to be in a heated argument when suddenly one was pulling the other into an even more heated kiss.

As they pulled apart Loki seemed to whisper something and handed Strange an Asgardian device. Probably something he’d whipped up himself.

As Loki walked back over, Bruce whistled and wiggled his eyebrows. “So you really do have one on every planet huh? Wonder what the grandmaster would say if he knew-“

“Oh shut up! I don’t want to hear that from you, the guy who’s fuc-“

“There you two are!” they had turned the corner to see a large, functioning ship being refueled. Thor and Heimdall were standing before it and Valkyrie was helping other Asgardians to load it back up.

“Thor!” Bruce smiled, jogging up to meet his boyfriend, he placed a soft kiss on his cheek as greeting and said hello to Heimdall as well. Heimdall merely inclined his head.

“Are we good to leave yet?” Loki asked, nagging yet again.

“Soon brother,” Thor said, “But first, you are not the only one that wishes to make goodbyes”

Ignoring Loki’s blush, Thor nodded at Tony as he jogged towards the group.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I wanted to make sure all the paperwork was set in stone before letting you all leave.” He smiled, it came out slightly crooked. “The last thing we want is you not being able to visit, even with the whole-...”

Tony sighed and scratched at the back of his neck, “Listen Bruce, I am really sorry about everything… If there was some way, well, someway other than sending you back into space to make sure that piece of shit never gets the opportunity to lay eyes on you again, I’d do it.”

Bruce just nodded, it was the third time he’d heard the same speech, multiple fellow Avengers all seemed to think that his volunteering to go with Thor and the other Asgardians back into space (and away from Midgard) was some kind of banishment, or even a punishment.

The truth however? Bruce has never felt so at home before in his life. And if given the option of staying here on Midgard and going back out to space with his incredibly attractive boyfriend…. well it really was a no brainer. In fact, Hulk has been adamant they “stay with tiny boyfriend. Protect Blondie” and Bruce couldn’t help but agree.

Next time Thor can be the one kidnapped by an obsessive stalker and they can be the knight in shining armor. If Hulk could still fit into his old Sakaar gladiator gear that is.

Hulk not fat, Banner just extra puny recently.

Bruce smiled.

He looked over at Thor and took his hand in his own, locking their fingers together and holding them palm to palm. He could feel the thrum of the electricity in Thor’s veins and it comforted him. Thor smiled and squeezed his hand back before lifting it entirely un-subtly and pressing a chaste kiss to his knuckles that had Bruce chuckling.

Of course that only spurred Thor on and he continued his kisses up his arm, being goofier and grander with each one until they were both a mess of giggles and had forgotten entirely about literally everything.

Like the people around them.

“Ugh, get a room you creeps.” Loki interrupted, cupping his hand around his mouth as if to be extra sure they heard.

Bruce and Thor just laughed more, Bruce winking at Thor before they turned the flirting up another notch, Thor dipping Bruce as he dramatically held an arm across his forehead as of a faint southern belle.

“Oh Thor-“

“Alright Already!!” Tony was holding back his laughter, Bruce knew he was. They were hilarious.

“As much as we all love making Loki massively uncomfortable. And we do. I still need to know, Bruce,”

Tony’s eyes were serious, “are you sure you’re okay with this? You don’t have to leave, none of you do”

Bruce just smiled, “yeah Tony, I’m sure.”

Tony didn’t look completely convinced. Fair enough, Bruce did tend towards the easiest path, go with the flow, keep your head down type stuff. But Hulk wasn’t like that at all, and he’d learned a lot in the time they were able to communicate.

“It’s kinda funny Tony, but, Ross was this big bad monster under my bed for a long time, and he probably still will be for an even longer time… but,” he met Thor’s eyes, and then Loki’s and Heimdall’s and Val’s and continued looking around at everyone else, those standing to watch the spectacle, those packing and moving back into the ship, even those just going about normally, “but I’m not alone anymore, and- and frankly Tony, he doesn’t scare me anymore.”

Tony smiled properly this time, “okay, I wish you luck Brucie,” he slapped his shoulder and pointed at Thor, “you take care of my boy, ya hear me poindexter? He’s too good for you!”

Then he jogged off and disappeared into the crowd.

“Are we ready to leave yet?”

“Loki, shut up”

“Yeah Loki, why are you in such a hurry anyways?” Bruce asked, genuinely curious.

Loki’s eyes shifted and he shrugged, “No reason”

 

4 hours earlier

 

Loki had created a double of himself to keep his brother (and pretty much anyone that wasn’t Heimdall) from getting suspicious and slipped away from the hustle and bustle of Asgardians packing to leave.

Loki has been getting tired of this particular planet anyways, Thracknar 7 had been far more fun, and there had been much less kidnapping. Almost none in fact.

He headed towards the one place on Midgard where he spent more time than the compound they’d been living out of and knocked on the door. Strange answered.

“It’s about time you showed up, me and Wong had a bet”

“Oh? Am I to assume you know why I’m here then?”

Strange just smiled.

He walked into the sanctuary and Strange spared no time whisking them away to their true destination.

Looks like he did know.

All Loki had to do was slip into the room unnoticed, and speak to the man sitting at the big fancy desk. He wasn’t someone Loki had seen before, but judging by how pathetic and smarmy he looked Loki had no doubt they were in the right place, and that this bastard was the one he was looking for.

The man looked up in surprise and, oh, was that fear? Excellent.

“How did you get in here! I have wards-“

“Oh please mortal, my brother may be dumb as a rock, but I assure you us deities are not so easily trifled with.”

Loki didn’t know anything about any wards, so he simply assumed either Strange had already dealt with them for him, or the human Ross trusted to protect him had bailed properly and left him high and dry on his own. Either way worked for him really.

“Wha-what do you want? You can’t do anything to me! I work for the president! I’m the secre-“

“Blah, Blah blah blah… that is all I hear coming out of your mouth you know. Which is weird, since I’m speaking allspeak. But alas.” He sat down on the edge of the humans desk, twirling his knife around in his hands and using elegant and precise movements to impress and impose. The knife was one of his favorites, a thin silver blade decorated with a slithering green snake that seemed to move when twisted in just the right way. The reflection of the green design danced on the complexion of his prey, and Loki grinned.

“But I do think I got something, yadda yadda, you can’t hurt me…. rules… blah blah blah. Right?” He said, looking the human straight in his eyes.

He just nodded, a stiff, uncomfortable movement.

“But that is where you are wrong, mortal. You see, unlike my brother, the King who is bound in rules and treaties and serving his people, I?” He three the knife and it sliced cleanly through the cartilage of Ross’ ear before becoming imbedded in the wall behind him,

“I am the god of Mischief”

The human’s eyes widened.

“And I play by no rules but my own.”

 

After that lovely discussion Loki had slipped back into the day’s departure proceedings and urged the group to leave, hopefully before any of the avengers find out exactly what he had been up to earlier. He even exchanged communication devices with Strange in case the man ever needed help… or something.

Of course Banner completely misinterpretated their talk as some kind of emotional goodbye. It wasn’t. Loki wasn’t a school girl with a crush and he certainly wouldn’t get caught up by a Midgardian of all-

“Wait!” Thor shouted as he made to get on the ship, Loki found himself in a crushing bear hug before he was dropped back down and his oaf of a brother patted him in the back, “okay, we’re good to go Loki’s actually here now”

Loki just rolled his eyes, as he often did, and followed his oblivious brother onto the ship.

However, there was one other person that Loki was certain did know, and that? That was definitely Heimdall’s I’m proud of you look.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay folks! That’s a wrap!  
> Let me know if there’s anything from this universe you want me to do a one-shot in and I might continue it, but other than that. This is the end. Thanks for going on this journey with me and I hope you enjoyed the ride.  
> Happy Holidays Everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a short idea I had, it won't be super long or anything. But I do hope you like it!


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